The Kaer Morhen Book Club by @jackironsides, typeset by @catspawbindery . Amyda has received her copy, and so has the author! so here we goooo
I JUMPED at the chance to bind this - agonised for a while about whether or not I got my first choice in claims - as this was a fic I already know and love and I had IDEAS for what to do with it. Amyda's typeset was so inspiring, including a frontispiece and medieval-esque fonts, and since the fic features medieval romance novels (chivalric, really) I thought it would be fun to try to emulate the binding of the novel Starcrossed Love as described in the fic:
He waves an octavo at them. The cover has beautifully marbled paper, and black leather enclosing the spine with gilt decorations pressed in.
And there it is, with its dark calfskin binding, a single star stamped in gold on the spine.
This is an octavo binding (though printed on A4 paper, so a very small octavo - an A7-sized book), it has a leather spine (animal: unknown), marbled cove papers, and a star foiled onto the spine with a hot foil pen. for endpapers I chose Japanese Chiyogami paper as I'd stumbled over this particular pattern by accident and thought both the colour scheme and pattern matched the medieval vibe. the headbands are green and gold embroidery floss.
I struggled a little with the leather - which I've never worked with before - so my own copy (the first trial copy) didn't come out as well, but lessons learned and the typesetter's and the author copies came out beautifully.
my copy, using a different, thicker leather for the spine, resulting in no visible hinge at all:
it doesn't look bad, but it's not the vibe I wanted and I had to do a lot of infilling to account for the thickness of the leather since I didn't have any leather paring tools.
the author's copy is a different colour scheme for two reasons: I sourced the leather from the leather scraps bin in Shepherd's, London, and the pieces were very small. I was only able to find two pieces large enough to cover the spine of an A7 (I'd brought along a dummy to test the scraps against) and the two pieces were different colours. I also didn't have enough of the medieval-esque Chiyogamy for a 3rd set of endpapers so I chose a wildly different but striking Chiyogamy paper to match the colours of the leather and marbled paper. the headbands are dark blue and pale blue embroidery floss.
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Replies are apparently broken but @jackironsides wanted to know more about bayonets and then I got to an appointment forty minutes early and wrote way more than I meant to.
But the SHORT version is: contrary to popular misconception, triangular bayonets are not specifically banned in the Geneva Convention. They were actually on the way out by the time the GC happened in 1949. There is, however, a case to be made that triangular blades are nonetheless in violation of the particular article of the GC that prohibits weapons and methods of war intended to cause âsuperfluous injury or unnecessary suffering.â (Itâs Article 35 of the 1977 document if you want to look it up, they got it from the Hague Regulations.)
This is because triangular blades are for stabbing, and if you get stabbed with a triangular blade, you now have a puncture wound with three axes of injury. This is a problem for a lot of reasons. First of all, even if the blade goes directly in and out you still have a wound in a shape that is difficult to stitch closed without opening the other parts of the wound, and often struggles to scar over for the same reason. As scar tissue âpullsâ on the skin around it, it can open other parts of the triangular wound, which is why they were prone to infection even by the standards of the 1700s, when EVERYTHING was prone to infection. Second of all, bayonets generally did NOT go straight in and out of a stabbing victim. And once someone starts twisting a triangular blade in your abdomen, youâre pretty much dead already, youâre just going to suffer a lot before your heart stops. Which is almost always true with that kind of wound, a triangular blade just makes it functionally impossible to treat.
Anyway if you want the 1k+ essay about the development of triangular bayonets that I accidentally wrote in the PT waiting room, hit me up.
@fuckyeahisawthatâ @cactusspatzâ @jackironsides (tried to tag sorry) and @pluckyredheadâ got to talking about an adorable scenario where in Crowley has been a demon for 6000 slutty slutty years but Aziraphael is the first person he has sex with who actually means something to him. Â Thereâs a really cute fic now
so I went and wrote 4k of angst, just to balance things out
âYou know,â Aziraphale breathed against his skin. âIf we were humans, this is the part where we would have sex. Do you want to?â
Crowley froze. A prickle of frost crept down his neck, and then melted to shiver down his spine and into his lungs. He⌠honestly hadnât considered that. And wasnât that the understatement of the century, he hadnât even known that was an option! Would it even work with a demon and an angel? He supposed theyâd had no problem with the kissing up until now, so it was probably fine, but he wished heâd thought of it sooner. He wished heâd had time to prepare, to do a bit of research, maybe, to brace himself.
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@jadefyreâ said: hello yes I would like the deets of how the POTC theme evokes the swashbucklery so amazingly please
@mochuelitaâ replied to your post: I am HERE for the swashbuckle deets
@jackironsides replied to your post: Will you divulge the secrets??
Oh I will absolutely try. I have no perspective about how much anyone knows about music, so I am likely going to vacillate wildly between explaining basic concepts in insulting detail and glossing over things that seem obvious to me but may not be, but I love this damb song so much that I am bout to EXPLAIN IT SO HARD. (Pls let me know the degree of unintelligibility you encounter here, and in what deet, and I will try to ameliorate.)
This glorious Hans Zimmer/Klaus Badelt/Geoff Zanelli thrill, the crowning achievement of hollywood pirate music, named, appropriately, He's A Pirate, is a deep and riotous well of perfectly executed brain-melting techniques. Welcome to my Deet Tour. The biggest categories of secrets here are
So the biggest and most important rhythmic secret anyone can ever learn has a name that sounds hilariously like either an unfortunate blood disease or an unfortunate Ancient Greek poet. But it is Life and Greatness; it is the secret that makes compound time magic, and I am such a huge sucker for it that back when facebook was an exciting new platform that had just been opened to a few schools outside the ivy league, including mine, back when fb groups were a form of self-expression and not a freebooting nightmare, I made a facebook group called "If Hemiola Were A Person, We'd Be Married." Yes. And 17 of my closest music school friends joined, because hemiola is really that great.
Here is what it means: you are in compound time (a kind of meter that has beats made of 3 smaller beats). You arrange those tiny beats into groups of 2 instead.* Like this:
| | | Â | | | -> | | Â | | Â | |
Think of the coolest thing about the rhythm in the classic Theory 101 hemiola demonstration standby, America from West Side Story. It goes onetwothree onetwothree onetwo onetwo onetwo. That's one way to hemiola. The most obvious way, very good, very satisfying.
A more advanced (and more connotatively piratical, but we'll get to that in a bit) way to hemiola is to do the 3 and the 2 at the SAME TIME. This can be in different instruments, or in the same instrument at different points in the melody of the same bar; the options are endless. You end up with a rhythm that, devil take it, can only reasonably be called Rollicking. Is it in 3? Is it in 2? DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S HEMIOLA. IT'S IN BOTH. Listen to the A section of He's a Pirate; it has everything that can possibly be in both 3 and 2 going on at once. The melody, played by some forthright horns and low strings, has a rhythm that mostly divides the bar into 3, while still keeping the pickup subdivision that makes you feel like the little beats are in 2 big groups of 3. I'll write the rhythm out with periods for rests and pipes for played beats and divide them into the groups I hear them in, with big spaces between the bars:
(...) .|| Â Â |. |. || Â Â |. |. || Â Â |. |. || Â Â ||. .|| Â Â |. |. || Â Â |. |. || Â Â |. |. || Â Â |.. .|| Â Â |. |. || Â Â |. |. || Â Â |. |. || Â Â ||. .|| Â Â |. |. |. Â Â ||. .|| Â Â |. |. || Â |.. ...
The most ambiguous thing here is the middle beat of the bar, the 4th one if you're counting it in 6 (2nd if you're in 2, 1.5 if you're in 3). This whole melody hinges on that empty beat. Is it part of the second note? Or is it a springboard for the last two notes? Is it an on-beat or an offbeat? IT'S HEMIOLA. IT'S BOTH. MAGIC. Obviously some bars will be easier to hear in 2 (the fourth bar at end of each phrase, for example, which starts with two notes in a row with no space between, and a really emphatic drum hit on beat 4 (or 2, or 1.5) while no notes are happening). Some are easier to hear in 3; the rest of the phrase, besides the fourth bar, has at least two notes per bar that sounds like they should be grouped in Big Three (two little beats per group). The best part about it, and what makes the Rollicking so successful (one might even say, as OP did, that it is Jaunty) is that for most of these bars, it is equally easy to hear them in 3 or in 2. The British Isles, particularly the bits that the English tried and failed to assimilate, are deeply associated with this kind of rhythmic ambiguity. In fact the wikipedia example of what an Irish drum (bodhrĂĄn) sounds like is mostly composed of 6/8 hemiola, and though it's not the best playing I've ever heard, it is a good example of the rhythms usually played on that drum.
I'm counting the climactic bit that sounds like cutlass swipes (there's our Swashbuckling) about 0:33-0:46 as a B section. Why does it buckle the swash? Because all the beats of the melody have been occupied so far in this tune, and now there are big holes. Are they still hemiola? Yes. It's just the slightly more obvious kind that switches back and forth between 2 and 3 beats per bar in one voice instead of both at once through ambiguous beat 4 (or 2 or 1.5):
|.. .|| Â |.. ... Â |.. ... Â Â ||. |.. Â Â |.. .|| Â Â |. |. |. Â |.. .|| Â |. |. |. Â ||. ... Â |. |. |. Â ||. ... Â |. |. |. Â |.. .(||) (the last two pipes here are the pickup to the C section and can be counted as rests for the purposes of the B section)
But don't worry, both kinds of subdivision are still happening everywhere else. It's a mechanically complex but simply majestic pearl of a tune.
Which brings us to Secret #2: augmentation. This is why we feel the buckle is swashed atop the bowsprit, rather than anywhere else on board. This one is Particularly Secret, because to be honest there is no literal augmentation going on in this song, just the implication of it.** This might be a bit harder to explain.
The C section of this song, starting at 0:45 right after the cutlass swipes, goes rhythmically like this (basically two times in a row, with different notes the second time):
(||) Â |.. .|| Â Â |. |. |. Â Â |. |. |. Â Â |.. .|| Â Â |.. .|| Â Â |. |. |. Â |. .. |. Â Â |.. (...)
Look how many groups of unambiguous 3 there are in this horn melody! With big holes in the rest of the bars! This makes the melody sound slower, because not as many small notes in a row are being played, even though there are still the same underlying rhythms happening in the drums and the accompanying figures that are not the melody. It's like we're on the top of the ship instead of underneath in the waves being bashed on the hull by all the little chops and splashes we hear in the drums and cellos. We can see/hear those little subdivisions, we're just not involved in them right now: this is how we become majestic. The drums are definitively in 2, which emphasizes the moments when the melody is more 3ish. The bass line and accompanimental figures are ambiguous.
This brings us to Secret #3: orchestration.
The magnificence and high wind (which causes rough seas) are indeed related to some cellos. The swash wouldn't be nearly so all-encompassing if the orchestrators hadn't picked the instruments they picked (I'm not sure who orchestrated this particular moment of the soundtrack; see the wikipedia entry on the 7 different composers hired to orchestrate this score because of weird production reasons). There is an ASTONISHINGLY small number of kinds of instruments used in this song considering the forces available in an orchestra, and all but the cellos, horns, basses, and drums are basically decorations on top of the main tune.
Here is the obvious thing: it's very low. Cellos are pretty low instruments, basses are Really low instruments, horns have the capability to go high but do not do it in this song, and drums have no exact pitch but most of the ones used in this piece for the main beats are low in frequency with occasional high crashy sounds for emphasis. Cellos, and I don't think I'm making this up, I've read association studies, sound like wood. Horns are used in hollywood scores (and for hundreds of years before movies were invented) for noble and majestic melodies, associated with noble and majestic characters and environments and qualities (check out some Wagner for more information about the association of melodies with story elements before movies were invented). This is the deet where we start thinking about notes instead of just rhythms.
It is pretty unusual for notes so low to be so fast. A gem of an aphorism I picked up in high-school-orchestra rehearsals (from the director, no less): "an octave lower, an octave slower." (This was usually meant as a gentle tease to the bass section for not playing their part right, or on time, but it works as an explanation of normal orchestration principles.) We don't expect our driving, foundational bass frequencies to move from note to note so fast. Usually if they do, it's an exceptional showoff moment in a bigger orchestral context where the violins or other high instruments are doing the rest of the fast stuff. Here, the violins are just doubling the low strings to emphasize them when the melody is repeated; the high strings aren't even playing all the time. What this means is that the low instruments are showing off all the time, so it's very drivy and feels much faster than it would if just the high instruments were doing the tune.
It's also one of the reasons the song is foreboding; very low notes, punctuated with high shrieky interjections (like the violin swashes in the cutlass section), is the technique used in horror scoring, which we have been conditioned to associate with something scary. Also I think there is some science there.
Another reason it is a bit foreboding (though other sections of the soundtrack are More Foreboding, for example Fog Bound but we're just talking about the main theme in this post) is Secret #4: modal borrowing.
Let's be clear here, there's nothing Super Weird going on in this melody modally, but there are several ways to do a minor scale, and it takes advantage of more than one. Minor keys have a surprising amount of options regarding what notes to use after the fifth scale degree; you can have a low 6 and 7 (often used coming down the scale), or a high 6 and 7 (usually for going up), or low 6 and high 7 (this is often used to sound middle-eastern) or a high 6 and low 7 (this is not often used, since low 6 is good for tension in that half-step going to the 5th degree, but if it is used, it sounds folky and maybe Old). This array of usual options means you don't really have to borrow much to have both kinds of 6th and 7th scale degrees, but the fact that the melody so frequently emphasizes the low 7 (whole step between 7 and 1, instead of half) makes it sound modal and British-folk-ish. Listen to some jigs (Butterfly, for example) or reels (like this whole set of them) or really any minor-key Irish or Scottish folk music and you'll find it has low 7.
This frequent low 7th scale degree means the chord that starts on the 5th scale degree, usually called the V chord in classical parlance, is in fact in this situation the v chord, because it's minor. That's modal borrowing! The minor v chord is not really native to any mode, because usually we make the V chord major even if 7 is low in the scale, but we call it borrowing anyway. It is a particular kind of sound where the drive of the five chord to the one chord is less strong, because the low 7 doesn't want quite as badly to lead to 1. This makes the chord more atmospheric than functional, and it might be more foreboding this way. It's not rare, it's not exceptional, but it is definitely associated with the British Isles (more the 19th century than the 17th, but fewer people know actual 17th century tunes) and folk music and sea chanties etc. This may be how we know it's the jolly roger flapping from the mast.
However! The tune also has moments of high 7! And this means V is major sometimes! Like the end of the A section before it repeats slightly differently (0:17). The fact that both of these chords exist in this tune makes it even borrowier, because usually you get only one of these kinds of five chord. But sometimes we have major V, which makes it More Climactic, the spectacular flaps of the jolly roger.
The last Secret I would like to relate is #5: cadential rhythm. This is the reason we have any actual association with the 17th century instead of the 19th (most piratey music anyone knows is from the 19th century).
Cadences (a cadence is the way a phrase ends) have been classified over the centuries, in terms of both rhythm and melody, into two kinds. They are conventionally called masculine and feminine, or strong and weak, but those are bullshit names so I am calling them direct and indirect. A direct cadence lands on the downbeat, and probably on the root of the chord. An indirect cadence lands after the downbeat, and so the first note of the bar isn't the cadential note; the note after it is.
The way He's A Pirate uses indirect cadential rhythm is especially emphatic. The very first phrase (0:05-0:08) cadences on the second tiny beat of the bar instead of the first. Since the tiny beats go real fast, it's very obvious how the phrase lands on Not The Big Beat. The tinier the beats are, the more emphatic the syncopation is. BUT THEN: the second phrase cadences directly (0:08-0:11). It goes back and forth between direct and indirect until the end of the A section when we have two indirects in a row, which makes the direct (on major V, no less!) last one especially swashbuckly.
Here is a playlist of 17th century English songs (mostly in compound time), the first of which is also full of hemiola, many (especially the third, 14th, 15th and 16th) of which have indirect cadences at the end of nearly every phrase. The switching back and forth between the two kinds of cadential rhythm is really important to the piratical nature of this song, contributes to the jauntiness, and has actual connections to historical 17th century tunes (though this cadential strategy is also common in the 19th century sea folk tunes people are more likely to know). BEHOLD THE GALLEON.
I hope that these Secrets have been Revealed. If my explanatory techniques have been too obscure, please do ask me about things you find unclear; I larve this song to tiny tiny bits and would be delighted to explain it forever.
*Or the other way around. Hemiola just means messing with the subdivision of beats, regrouping them either from 2 to 3 or 3 to 2. OR BOTH AT ONCE YAAASSSS. also you donât necessarily have to be in compound time (which is subdivided into 3); you can be in any meter, as long as you are regrouping things between 2 and 3. itâs just easiest and most rollicking when youâre in, for example, 6/8 or 9/8.
**Despite my 11 years of music school, I have not found a better inaccurate but explicative term for this technique, but let me explain to you what augmentation actually is, so that you know why this isn't exactly augmentation. When you make a melody twice as slow but with the exact same thing happening, that's real augmentation. Like if in the original melody from my first dumb rhythmic transcription had values of quarter notes instead of eighth notes; if it just sounded slower with the rest of everything going the same speed. Obviously the melody in the C section is not the same as the A section, and it does not actually use values that are twice that of the A section, but it expands the beat to feel slower in a way that is compatible with the flexible ambiguous 2 or 3 subdivision of compound time.
jackironsides replied to your post âmexicantransguy: coyotepetersonofficial: ...â
@halffizzbin I think youâre probs safe. The only thing bad I know about Keanu is that heâs a Shakespeare Truther, which is a pretty harmless flaw all things considered
ahahaha I can forgive Shakespeare Trutherism as long as he doesnât think Anonymous was a good movie
rionsanura replied to your post âThank you for all the kitten updates, they're so adorable! I was...â
my mnemonic for which is which is that polk is yolk-colored
I always say âPolk is pink, Dearborn is darkâ although Polk is actually orange. Peach, perhaps? She sometimes looks pink in photos, though.Â
jackironsides replied to your post âThe Side Gig ⢠is really bringing the joy this morning, you guys. Iâm...â
I do the same side gig occasionally and even though Iâve only done a little for them there have been Some Gems.
goodmorningvelma replied to your post âThe Side Gig ⢠is really bringing the joy this morning, you guys. Iâm...â
Oh hey, we have the same side gig! Possibly via the same website? Either way, can confirm that it results in hearing some truly weird shit :D
It is amazing what people will say into a tape recorder. And I love the YouTube hustles. Make a million dollars with YouTube using my Special Patented Technique!
My favorites are the raw videos where you get the background talk too. I did one for a travel channel show where the guy was like âI showed them five properties....dear god what if they actually pick the vacant lot...â
tienriu replied to your post âThe Side Gig ⢠is really bringing the joy this morning, you guys. Iâm...â
"Well my god that's something" is my new go-to response whenever I'm faced with being accurate but rude and polite and misleading :D
It was said so....so gently. Someone has had a lot of experience with dying seagull talent, I guess. :DÂ