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It’s Final Fantasy XV’s anniversary and because I can’t draw the guys worth a damn, A COLLECTION OF INNCORRECT QUOTES.
I’ve been saving them... ˶⚈Ɛ⚈˵
Noctis: Mediocrity takes a while sometimes
-
Ignis: Would you like something to drink
Gladiolus: What do you have?
Ignis: It’s a yes or no question
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Based on a child/parent interaction I got to witness...
Child Iris: Dad, who’s that?
Clarus: Why that’s Kenny Crow, he’s one of the mascots.
Iris: *takes a sip of soda, while in deep thought*
Clarus: Like the Chocobo and Moogle.
Iris: Well...I don’t care for him.
Clarus:...Fair enough.
Clarus: The council states if you take another day off you’ll lose all your work from home days for the next six months.
Regis: Jokes on them, I don’t work from home!!
A reason the Empire would drop me off in Lucian territory in a heartbeat.
Ravus: *reading a report* Chancellor Inzuna wishes for our attire to either consist of black or white or a mixture of the two.
Me: The moment I take fashion advice from Ardyn is the day he dresses me for my grave.
Ravus: ...
Me: I didn’t mean to say it that mean, I meant what I said! just didn’t mean to direct that anger at you.
Noctis: I think I’m sick.
Ignis: What makes you think that?
Noctis: I tried to do a back handspring and realized I couldn’t.
Ignis: You can’t do that normally.
Noctis: Well now I’m sick and sad.
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Holiday Quotes
Stuck at work today, so here are some lovely quotes from the Holidays!
*
Noctis: *after dropping Smore into the fireplace* Gods! Shit! No!
Prompto: You good buddy?
Noctis: I mean to just say "Whelp."
*
Ignis: She’s drinking mimosas made from freshly squeezed oranges and actually champagne. While I am using Sunny D and box wine. We all got problems, Mary!
*
Gladiolus: He needs to learn! We can’t keep him from being stupid, Ignis! We can only laugh.
*
Clarus: It smells of pork by-products and hatred.
Regis: Whelp the in-laws are here!
*
Prompto: Damn you and your tasty, tasty lies!
*
Me: Why did you bring me on a trip to buy stuff for Luna?
Ravus: I figured you'd be able to assist me with finding her a gift. You're rather close to her.
Me: Yeah, but Idk what girls like.
Ravus: Aren't you a girl?
Me: ...you right.
*
Lunafreya: Are all those bathbombs for Ravus? I figured he had a supplier.
Me: You're making me sound like I sell drugs.
*
Ravus: *laying on the ground next to Pryna and Umbra* You're the only ones to get me.
Umbra and Pryna rest their heads on Ravus
Ravus: I am blessed this day.
*
Ignis: *watching Gladiolus shoveling the sidewalk, and noticing him slip for 5 secs trying to catch his balance* At this point it would be best to just fall. *sips from mug*
*
Prompto: I know you only put peppermint in this, but it's the best thing I ever put in my face hole.
*
Noctis: Hot Cocoa's marshmallow ratio should be 90% marsh and 10% other. You know what, play it safe make that other 10% marsh too.
*
Prompto: Hey that one noodle place is open.
Gladiolus: Ramen is a very holiday food.
Ignis: *opens mouth, rethinks* You know what, let's do it.
*
Noctis: Do you think a blanket would be unprofessional to wear to dinner? I mean I'm gonna do it either way, but just wanted you to not be too shocked.
Ignis: I appreciate the forethought.
*
Iris: We're lucky if we can get Gladdy to put on pants when he's on winter break.
Gladiolus: Pants don't exist between now and the New Year!
*
Prompto and Noctis running to the car: *panting and silently speaking between each other.*
Gladiolus: What's up with you too?
Noctis: We were so focused on buying Pyrna and Umbra a gift, we legitimately forgot like everyone else.
Ignis: How could you have...
Prompto: Did you see how sad they were last year when Loqi forgot to get them something?
Ignis:...shit...I'll drive.
*
Me: I bought us matching pajamas, simply because we need to be a unit.
Umbra: *Sneezes*
Noctis: Bless you buddy, you got the sniffles?
Gladiolus: *Sneezes*
Noctis: You need to go somewhere with that shit!
Family Vacation quotes
Lunafreya: If you think my grown ass isn't going to try and squeeze into that Princess Stroller, you got another thing coming! Hold my shoes!
~~~
Gladiolus: If you keep being this way, I will show up to your wedding in flip-flops and socks.
Me: Try me, big guy! Don't think I won't kick your ass in a wedding dress!
~~~
Ignis: He looks like a gods damn unsalted peanut! Get out of my face!
Prompto: I'm offended for him, geez Iggy, calm down.
~~~
Noctis: Where ya going, I'm still mad and sad.
~~~
Gladiolus: The fact I can quote the Lion King from memory means everything to me.
~~~
Ravus: If you hand me an Oreo thin, I'm gonna punch you in the face, double stuff all the way.
~~~
Noctis: I am a grown adult, I can do whatever I want, and don't need help with shit!
Gladiolus: Your shoes untied.
Noctis: What Ignis! Help!
Ignis: We got you Velcro after the last incident.
~~~
Noctis: If you hand me that tofu I will throw the largest adult tantrum Eos has ever seen. Don't test me!
~~~
Prompto: I woke up at 2 am and she was just eating a pickle. I figured that I'd let her have her moment.
~~~
Ignis: She didn't have a plate she was just eating the cake like an apple.
Gladiolus: She does the same with pineapple, it's both beautiful and horrifying.
~~~
Cindy: Sorry got distracted by my own boobs, what's up?
~~~
Lunafreya: Do you think I should ask her out?
Ravus: You've been flirting with her for 10 minutes maybe.
Lunafreya: Hey! You wanna go out!
Ravus: I wouldn't have yelled it across the park but you do you.
~~~
Ignis: *notices a child screaming* Soon they will learn to do this inside, I'm still waiting for Noct and Prompto to learn.
Noctis & Prompto: Not likely.
~~~
Araena: We don't know anyone who is straight, hell this morning you told me you'd trade your doughnut for a kiss from Prompto.
Prompto: Aww that's so...wait what kind of doughnut?
Noctis: Sprinkles.
Prompto: Aww you do care.
~~~
Me: *Muttering to myself* You useless lesbian.
Prompto: Aren't you bisexual?
Me: Yeah but the lesbian side is winning today.
~~~
Ravus: Come over here so I can hit you.
Ignis: Why are you going to go!
~~~
Gladiolus: How many cups did you have today?
Ignis: That's none of your damn business.
~~~
Prompto: Noctis broke up our friendship last night because I never cried at him dressing fancy, but I did at that Chocobo dressed in a top hat and tie.
Noctis: I looked better!
~~~
Prompto: None of us deserve a big toblerone.
~~~
Ignis: Where were you?
Gladiolus: Had to stop and take a picture of a dude with two turtles fucking on his shirt.
Noctis: That's a good a reason if any.
Prompto: Can...can we see?
~~~
Ravus: *to Noctis* You can't talk to her right now because I'm talking to her right now.
Noctis: I can talk to her whenever I want!
Ravus: No you can't, she's the Princess.
Lunafreya: Rae...
Ravus: She's the Princess.
Lunafreya: *looks to Noctis distressed* I'm the Princess.
~~~
Hakuna Matata starts playing
Gladiolus to Ignis: Don't you start!
Ignis: *muttering* Damn lazy people.
~~~
Me: All Frogs carry guns and knives.
Ravus: Why must you be this way?
~~~
Me: *laughing at myself after getting emotional about explaining FFXV* This damn game has ruined my life.
