Feb 23
Lyonel: Come with me to Storm‘s End and I‘ll love you like a lover.
Dunk: What?
Lyonel: Brother. Love you like a brother.
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Lyonel: Come with me to Storm‘s End and I‘ll love you like a lover.
Dunk: What?
Lyonel: Brother. Love you like a brother.
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Kidnapper: We have your child. Toto: I don’t have a child? Kidnapper: Then who keeps going on about how is dad is a powerful man and will hunt me down. Toto: Oh god, you have Kimi. Toto: I’m going to call an ambulance. Kidnapper: You’re scared that we’ll hurt your kid? Toto: The ambulance is for you when his dad gets there. *Hanging up* Max, kicking down the door: Where the fuck is my child.
jason: oh shit.
dick: what?
jason: i left my emotional support somehwere, let me go get them. *leaves*
tim: don't tell me it's-
jason: *with you hauled over his shoulder* okay i'm better prepared for the day ahead.
I’ve been obsessed with Bloodymary but haven’t posted anything so have this
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I have a little headcannon that Bruce has gotten so used to people asking about his kids that he just starts sayin shit and genuinely believes what he's saying
Just like
Random Gala attendee: "So Bruce, tell me about your sons! They seem like wonderful young men."
Bruce: "Oh yes, my sweet sweet boys. Seems like yesterday my beautiful baby boy Jason came into this world. All fourteen pounds and seven ounces of him.'
Random Gala attendee: "But didn't you-"
Bruce: "God, it took five hours to push him out. But it was worth it."
Random Gala attendee: "but...didn't you...I thought you..youre not even..how.."
__
Reporter: "So Bruce! Tell us about your son Tim! Is it true that he dropped out of highschool and is now a shareholder of your company?"
Bruce: "Oh my sweet sweet baby Tim..it feels like it was just yesterday when I held him for the first time..he was so small.."
Reporter: "But..isn't he..weren't you?.."
Bruce: *wipes tear* "My babies are growing up so fast..do you think I'm getting old?"
__
Clark: "So anyways Jon's birthday is tomorrow and I wanted to know if you and the kids wanted to come? He'll be turning twelve so-"
Bruce: "I remember Cassandra's twelfth birthday. They grow up so fast don't you think?"
*Clark who's used to him doing this*: "Yup they sure do bud. So about the party?"
The bat kids think it's soooooooo funny until they witness Bruce looking at pictures reminiscently after patrol
They still kinda think it's funny tho
Has this been done yet????
The things that jump into my head when I’m trying to sleep…
"I asked Chatgpt." Yeah? Well, I asked George Cubbins, and he said to get off your arse and do some real research because if you keep using that horrid app, you'll never be on his level of intellect.