As a shapeshifter you’ve done some heavy spy work, jobs that no one else is capable of. It’s what you’re used to but it’s no longer where you’re needed for. Now after years of working solo SHIELD has assigned you as part of the Avengers and it’s there that you’ll face your most difficult times. But maybe with the help of a certain dark haired, blue eyed super soldier that you have a history with, things won’t be so bad...right?
Indistinct Masterlist (Series is complete.)
Chapter 1. < Chapter 2 curent > Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6.
Warnings/Themes: Flangst. (1.4K Words.)
Y/N walked down the concrete hallway, a man by the name of Kev leading her way, a gun hanging lazily around his shoulder, within quick reach if trouble came up. She tossed a strand of black hair over her shoulder, her blue eyes surveying her surroundings. Her name was Addison Wade for this particular mission, a girl that would be gone forever as soon as she finished her job here. A ghost Hydra would never be able to find again.
A metal door swung open before the pair, Kev leading the way into a room full of cryo chambers. Five, ten, fifteen chambers all lined against the walls, men and women frozen asleep inside each one.There were so many to look at but it was the chamber in the front that caught the woman’s attention.
“The Winter Soldier,” Kev said proudly as he pointed at the chamber, as though he was showing off a new car, “he’s the best we got, but we’ve been having some issues with his training lately.”
“What kind of issues?” Kev turned back around to face Y/N, his face dropping into a serious look.
“He keeps killing his trainers.” A shudder crawled up Y/N’s spine, but she nodded her head all the same. SHIELD had sent her into Hydra as a trainer in the hopes that she’d be able to gain as much information from them as possible while also gaining knowledge of how things ran at the base. The plan had worked so far, she’d been there for a few months before they wanted her to train bigger, better soldiers, all while remaining completely clueless about the woman’s shapeshifting ability.
“I thought he was programmed to listen to all orders?”
“He was, is…” Kev gave a long sigh, “he’s been difficult to control lately and you’re going to help us amend that. We can’t have him disobeying us any longer or it might be time to kill him off.” Y/N gave a quick nod.
Y/N doesn’t know why, but Bucky hadn’t ratted her out to the team, yet. After the sparring match he’d practically dragged her out of the training room and to his bedroom, the only secluded place he could think of at the time.
Sitting on his bed Y/N looked up at the man before her, his chest puffed with anger and fists clenched emotion.
“What the fuck are you really doing here?” He growled out through clenched teeth. His blue eyes alight with flame.
“To work as part of the Avengers.” The woman answered coolly.
“Bullshit,” Bucky seethes, taking a step closer, his face lowering until he’s nearly nose to nose with Y/N, “you work for Hydra.” Y/N shook her head, her blonde hair falling over her shoulder.
“I used to work for Hydra and when I did I was still under SHIELD.” With a turn of his head Bucky shows his confusion. Y/N rolled her eyes, not particularly frightened by the Winter Soldiers anger towards her. “I worked as a double agent, Bucky. I acted as a trainer for Hydra but really I collected information from them and fed it back to SHIELD.” Another shake of Bucky’s head earned another roll of Y/N’s eyes.
“How long did it go on for?” Bucky pressed. Y/N pressed her lips together, letting out a low hum.
“Fine, then how long did you train me for?” Another low hum.
“Five years.” Bucky stared at Y/N, seeming to process what she’d just said.
“Look different? Kinda comes with the territory as a shapeshifter, Bucky.” Y/N says coolly. Bucky shifts on his feet, his eyes looking the woman over as though he’s envisioning the dark haired, blue eyed woman he knew before when he was the Winter Soldier.
“You trained me for Hydra. I killed innocents and you-”
“There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about the consequences of my actions. About the lives lost because of me.” Y/N’s throat clenched tightly with emotion, her hands fisted tightly in her lap, her nails pressing half moon indents into her palms. “But I had limited choice in matters then, and I did the best with the cards I was dealt with.” Bucky nods, sitting down beside the woman on the end of the bed, folding his hands in his lap.
“I don’t remember much about my time in the bases. The... the deaths, yes, but at the base between getting my mind wiped and the cryo I don’t remember much.” Y/N nodded her head, already knowing about Bucky's limited memory. “Can you tell me about it?” He asks, his voice a touch softer.
“You sure?” Y/N asks, “We both know Hydra was an awful place, awful times. They won’t be good memories.” Bucky turns his head to Y/N, shifting closer as he looks into her hazel eyes.
“Stop,” Y/N called out to the soldier. He did, taking a step back he shook off the blood that covered his knuckles, turning his stare onto his trainer, his blue eyes glassy. “You’re done for the day.” Y/N looked away from her trainee, his dead stare too unnerving to continue to look at.
“I failed.” Bucky says, his voice gruff from lack of use.
“No soldier, you didn’t fail. It’s just time to clean up.” It was true, while Bucky wasn’t listening to her orders he was still doing well.
It started when they first met, little, fleeting glimpses of a kinder, more righteous man behind the wall Hydra built up inside his mind. Over the course of their training Y/N worked to chip away at the facade of the Winter Soldier in order to reach the man beneath. It wasn’t part of her mission for SHIELD, but it was a mission Y/N intended to fulfil all the same.
“Go.” Y/N ordered. With a nod of his head the soldier turned to leave. “Wait,” Bucky stopped, turning around he looked back at his trainer, “do you know your name?” It was a question Y/N asked every time they met up and even though she knew what his answer would be, she didn’t stop asking.
“What name?” He asked, because to him, he didn’t have one. He was Soldier to Y/N and Soldat to the rest, so what name could she have been talking about?
“Nothing,” Y/N sighed, “you’re free to go.”
“I tried to help you as much as I could when I was there.” Y/N admitted to Bucky. The man looked at her, curiosity sparkling in his blue eyes.
“Because you weren’t like the others. You didn’t choose to work for Hydra, you didn’t choose to follow their orders and you didn’t choose to kill all those people on missions. They made you do that, they tortured you and played with you to a point where you had no control over anything. So I tried to spare you from as much as I could as your trainer, and I tried to help you remember who you were.” Bucky shook his head, his dark hair falling around his face.
“I didn’t deserve that.” He said quietly.
“What?” Y/N asked, her brows furrowed as she leaned in a little closer to the soldier.
“I didn’t deserve that, your help. I didn’t deserve your help.”
“Bucky, no. Of course you deserved help then, you still do.” Bucky shook his head, his hands rubbing his thighs in agitation.
“Get out.” Y/N shook her head, her hand reaching out to touch Bucky’s arm but he didn't let her. Jerking up from his spot on the bed he stands up, pointing towards the door as he stares down at the woman. “I said get out.”
“Bucky-” Y/N tries but the man won’t listen to her.
“Get. Out.” Silently, Y/N stands up, with a last fleeting look at Bucky she turns and leaves his room.
The door shuts with a click, the lock sliding into place almost immediately and Y/N is left standing alone in the foyer.
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