#imwithus

Like many progressives (and even quite a few conservatives), I’m processing the end result of what was a bitterly fought presidential election. Not just what happened on Tuesday, but also what happened in the primaries.

I’ve spent much of the week in quiet contemplation trying to figure out where we go from here. Why I feel as afraid, upset, and dismayed as I do. And coming to terms with what the next four years will bring.

I purposely withdrew from social media these week, even deleting the apps from my phone. I needed to process things without the rage of others clouding my judgement. And that is rage on both sides.

In my last blog post, I put a challenge out there called #Reflect4Peace. I have yet to see anyone take on the challenge, which is OK. It’s not like there hasn’t been a few distractions in our world, and the traction of my humble Tumblr account isn’t exactly earth shattering. That said, I think it’s an important concept I want to reiterate, and I’ll get back to this challenge at the end of this post.

First though, I want to talk about some of my thoughts on this election cycle as a whole. These observations are for both those who supported Trump and those who didn’t.

The urge to place blame is strong, but it is an urge we must resist. 

Whether it is the current economic state of where you live or an undesired outcome of this election, blaming each other will only cause the great divide in our country to grow. It’s not the fault of millennials, it is not the fault of Baby Boomers, it is not the fault of those who don’t have a college degree, it is not the fault of those with a college degree, it is not the fault of women, it is not the fault of white men, is not the fault of minorities, it is not the fault of urbanites, it is not the fault of those who live in rural areas, it is not anyone one person’s or group’s fault. We all have a little bit of blame to carry, and that is mostly due to not listening to each other, and therefore not legitimizing each other's needs, fears, and circumstances.

Seeing obstructionism as the only way to fight gets us nowhere. 

As much as it pains me to see all branches of government being controlled by those I have enormous differences with in beliefs and policy, those of us on the left have a chance to show through action what compromise looks like for the betterment of society as a whole. To go down the road of obstructionism that the right has staunchly thwarted at every corner of Obama’s two terms in office is to go down a road of rooting for the failure of our country. Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and Cory Booker have all pledged to work with the Republican majority to find common ground. We need to follow their lead.

In looking at Trump’s 100-day plan, there is common ground to build on:

Imposing term limits for members of Congress

Closing the revolving door between Congress and lobbyists

Banning foreign money from elections

Ending the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) trade deal

Investing in infrastructure improvement projects

So let’s see where we can come together and make improvements for our country and for our democracy.

Understand that bullying will not be tolerated. 

For those on the right, you have absolutely everything you have wanted for the last eight years. But with great power comes great responsibility. And that responsibility is now on those you elected to bring solutions to the table, and on you to hold them accountable if their policies do not work or for any intimidation tactics they may use. A majority rule in all branches of government does not mean across-the-board mandates. The popular vote of the people did not go to Trump, Senate Republicans hold the majority by only a few seats, and House Republicans lost six seats while Democrats gained five.

Please honor the fact that those of us on the left are basing our fear of a Trump presidency on the fact that the leader you elected is someone who has been reckless with his own businesses, cheated hundreds of honest workers out money, used the legal system as a bully’s pulpit,  and repeatedly used racist, sexist and xenophobic mantras to demean those who disagree with him. These are facts you cannot deny, and is the character of the man you elected. While those of us on the left have been too complacent in understanding the true economic devastation many are feeling in this country, we will in no way allow the civil rights to be stripped away from our friends and family who are minorities, LGBT, immigrants or women.

We need to do a better of job of informing ourselves. 

There has been a lot of talk this election season about bubbling ourselves into echo chambers, whether online or offline. Essentially, cutting out any differing viewpoints. I think part of this has to do with so many sensational trash-driven media outlets more interested in revenue dollars from clicks and ratings than actually delivering news that is meant to inform. That’s not to say great journalism and reporting isn’t being done. We just need to do a better job at weeding out fact from fiction. When we have fake news taking over our feeds on social media, and punditry and editorials being taken as fact instead of opinion, we owe it to our democracy to do a better job of not sharing falsehoods and half truths. I’ve been guilty of it, we’ve all been guilty of it. That means we need to do a better job of scrutinizing sources of information, and refusing to let bold-face lies and partisan punditry spread as fact.

What I have started doing to clean-up my immediate online world is that if someone responds to a post of mine by repeating a falsehood, linking to a sensational partisan hack job of a news article, or just being downright antagonistic without having anything of value to offer, I am deleting their comments. This isn’t to say I delete all comments I disagree with or that upset me, but only those that stand to spread falsehoods or hate for the sake of hating. And if I see someone post a link to a false article or meme with no factual merit, I challenge it by pointing to an article of journalistic merit (one that is researched and fact checked) or even raw data that refutes it. It may not change the mind of the person who posted it, but it just might stop it from being shared blindly.

If we get involved locally, it can make a difference nationally.

This does not mean you have to be involved in party politics and protests. We all need to do a better job of engaging with our neighbors and building community. My one place of respite in social media leading up to the election was the Pantsuit Nation Facebook group. It was a place where we worked to lift each other up, to not let hate and anger fuel our actions or words, and to build a safe space where those with differing backgrounds from politics to religion to race to gender to sexual orientation could speak freely without judgement or fear of being harassed. And after this very difficult election season, my hope is renewed in seeing local chapters of this group breakout and start organizing.

But it doesn’t have to be Pantsuit Nation where you get involved. It could be at your local schools and community centers mentoring kids, it could be serving on the board of a nonprofit whose cause you believe in, it could be organizing food drives and neighborhood clean-ups. All the ways that we can work toward coming together and building community regardless of race, religion, or political affiliation are all things our country needs right now. And the little bit of good we create locally has the potential to spread globally.

#Reflect4Peace Challenge

Now, to get back to my #Reflect4Peace challenge. This was born out of something I started doing organically every year to mark the passing of 9/11, a day of great reflection for me as a survivor of the attacks on the World Trade Center. You can read more about that day here, but the goal of these small acts was to bring me healing and understanding, something I think our divided nation needs right now.

The challenge I set out was to do each of these three things within the next year, and to post on social media a picture, video, poem, song, whatever that reflects on something you learned about yourself or the world around you, and to use the hashtag #Reflect4Peace. You can also tag me in it if you want on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or right here on Tumblr.

Do something that will open your mind to a different view of the world. Maybe attend a ceremony of a religion different than yours. Read a book or editorial by an author who shares a different political view. Volunteer for an organization serving a population you might never interact with in your daily life. Or do something else along those lines that will push you past your comfort zone. The experience will probably be awkward and challenging at times, but approach it with an open mind. Even if it doesn’t make you see things in a new light, I bet at the very least it will demystify something that scares you.

Smile at a stranger, and maybe even talk with them. Ask them about their life. There are 7.4 billion people on this planet, and we all have a story. Learning those stories will help make the world feel more human.

Well, here we are. I got a good night’s sleep last night and sadly did not wake up to discover that whole thing was a really, really bad nightmare. And now I find myself, as so many of us do, tasked not so much with making sense of what happened or why, but finding a way to live with it. As much as I would love to hide under the covers and wallow in my grief over the brutal murder of all my hopes and dreams, I have kids. So I can’t do that, now can I? And chances are, neither can you. 

So. Let’s see if we can’t find a tiny nugget of gold in this tremendous turd we’ve just been served up by our fellow countrymen. (Or should I say countrywomen. White women. Seriously, what is wrong with you? For fuck’s sake.)

1. Hillary Clinton won the popular vote! And here in the golden state, we overwhelmingly chose love and compassion over fear and prejudice. Our sunbaked city is almost entirely blue. That is something to be proud of. (Now let’s get that secession fund going, por favor... Or maybe Mexico will have us - wouldn’t that just piss the red states off royally? You want a wall? You got it, bitches.) 

If an election worked the way I explained it to my four year old - “everyone votes for who they want and the one with the most votes wins” - this would have been a historical election for all the best reasons, instead of all the worst. I’m betting that from here on out we’re going to see a lot more ladies on the ticket. In fact, in case you missed it this election quadrupled the number of women of color in the Senate. That is another something to be proud of. All them good old boys better keep their umbrellas handy, because that goddam ceiling is coming down soon whether they like it or not. Hillary Goddam Brilliant Badass Queen Beyonce Rodham just lit a fire up in a whole mess of nasty women. Your days on the throne are numbered, gentlemen.

2. While I may be appalled that any human being could cast a vote for a man with such a deplorable mouth/soul/wig/spray-tan/I-could-go-on-for-days knowing the consequences, the same liberties that protect their right to vote protect my right to do everything I can to fight for the things I believe in, like gun control, and environmental protection, affordable healthcare and education, civil liberties and reproductive rights, taking care of each other and upholding equal rights and opportunities for everyone in this godforsaken (for reals now) country regardless of their gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, ability, political persuasion, shoe size, or anything else. And they can’t stop me or you or anyone else from being a nice person.

3. I usually stay out of politics on social media but I spent most of yesterday wallowing in the collective horror of everyone I know and care about, and I found great comfort in that. It’s reassuring to know that while the rest of the world is elbowing each other at our expense and nodding a collective, “Always knew they were a pack of buffoons,” there are actually millions of us (59,814,018 at the very least) who can see reason and who did not want that maniac in the White House. But, we survived the last maniac in the White House (remember when we thought George W. was bad? Doesn’t he seem like smurf now?) and we will survive this one. (*prays*)

Oh yeah and to the 108,604,746 of you who didn’t vote, go fuck yourselves. Not a word out of you for the next four years. Zip it.

4. At least the muthafucking election is finally over. And if this bare knuckled brawl showed us anything, it’s that even though we are a deeply divided nation with vastly different ideas about what’s right and what’s wrong, we’re all sick of the broken system that is only serving the rich, not taking care of we the people. (How electing one of them to change it seemed like a smart idea to the 59,611,678 who went that route is completely beyond me. But again, you’re entitled to your stupid opinion/the damage has been done/Jesus Christ I still can’t believe this is actually happening.) Now we just need to figure out how to fix it. (Get right on that, would you?) 

Yes, we lost. Yes, I’m sad. Yes, I’m scared. Yes, I’m mad. Yes, he’s a predatory pathological liar who’s never given a rat’s ass about anyone but himself his entire life.

But it’s over and even though we didn’t win, we stayed on the right side of history. This I know. And this I will impart on my children as I spend the next four years trying to show them every day, in any way I can, that love trumps hate.

Because it will. Because it does. Because it has to. 

In the dark days ahead of us, we have to carry the light.