#reflect4peace

Like many progressives (and even quite a few conservatives), I’m processing the end result of what was a bitterly fought presidential election. Not just what happened on Tuesday, but also what happened in the primaries.

I’ve spent much of the week in quiet contemplation trying to figure out where we go from here. Why I feel as afraid, upset, and dismayed as I do. And coming to terms with what the next four years will bring.

I purposely withdrew from social media these week, even deleting the apps from my phone. I needed to process things without the rage of others clouding my judgement. And that is rage on both sides.

In my last blog post, I put a challenge out there called #Reflect4Peace. I have yet to see anyone take on the challenge, which is OK. It’s not like there hasn’t been a few distractions in our world, and the traction of my humble Tumblr account isn’t exactly earth shattering. That said, I think it’s an important concept I want to reiterate, and I’ll get back to this challenge at the end of this post.

First though, I want to talk about some of my thoughts on this election cycle as a whole. These observations are for both those who supported Trump and those who didn’t.

The urge to place blame is strong, but it is an urge we must resist. 

Whether it is the current economic state of where you live or an undesired outcome of this election, blaming each other will only cause the great divide in our country to grow. It’s not the fault of millennials, it is not the fault of Baby Boomers, it is not the fault of those who don’t have a college degree, it is not the fault of those with a college degree, it is not the fault of women, it is not the fault of white men, is not the fault of minorities, it is not the fault of urbanites, it is not the fault of those who live in rural areas, it is not anyone one person’s or group’s fault. We all have a little bit of blame to carry, and that is mostly due to not listening to each other, and therefore not legitimizing each other's needs, fears, and circumstances.

Seeing obstructionism as the only way to fight gets us nowhere. 

As much as it pains me to see all branches of government being controlled by those I have enormous differences with in beliefs and policy, those of us on the left have a chance to show through action what compromise looks like for the betterment of society as a whole. To go down the road of obstructionism that the right has staunchly thwarted at every corner of Obama’s two terms in office is to go down a road of rooting for the failure of our country. Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and Cory Booker have all pledged to work with the Republican majority to find common ground. We need to follow their lead.

In looking at Trump’s 100-day plan, there is common ground to build on:

Imposing term limits for members of Congress

Closing the revolving door between Congress and lobbyists

Banning foreign money from elections

Ending the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) trade deal

Investing in infrastructure improvement projects

So let’s see where we can come together and make improvements for our country and for our democracy.

Understand that bullying will not be tolerated. 

For those on the right, you have absolutely everything you have wanted for the last eight years. But with great power comes great responsibility. And that responsibility is now on those you elected to bring solutions to the table, and on you to hold them accountable if their policies do not work or for any intimidation tactics they may use. A majority rule in all branches of government does not mean across-the-board mandates. The popular vote of the people did not go to Trump, Senate Republicans hold the majority by only a few seats, and House Republicans lost six seats while Democrats gained five.

Please honor the fact that those of us on the left are basing our fear of a Trump presidency on the fact that the leader you elected is someone who has been reckless with his own businesses, cheated hundreds of honest workers out money, used the legal system as a bully’s pulpit,  and repeatedly used racist, sexist and xenophobic mantras to demean those who disagree with him. These are facts you cannot deny, and is the character of the man you elected. While those of us on the left have been too complacent in understanding the true economic devastation many are feeling in this country, we will in no way allow the civil rights to be stripped away from our friends and family who are minorities, LGBT, immigrants or women.

We need to do a better of job of informing ourselves. 

There has been a lot of talk this election season about bubbling ourselves into echo chambers, whether online or offline. Essentially, cutting out any differing viewpoints. I think part of this has to do with so many sensational trash-driven media outlets more interested in revenue dollars from clicks and ratings than actually delivering news that is meant to inform. That’s not to say great journalism and reporting isn’t being done. We just need to do a better job at weeding out fact from fiction. When we have fake news taking over our feeds on social media, and punditry and editorials being taken as fact instead of opinion, we owe it to our democracy to do a better job of not sharing falsehoods and half truths. I’ve been guilty of it, we’ve all been guilty of it. That means we need to do a better job of scrutinizing sources of information, and refusing to let bold-face lies and partisan punditry spread as fact.

What I have started doing to clean-up my immediate online world is that if someone responds to a post of mine by repeating a falsehood, linking to a sensational partisan hack job of a news article, or just being downright antagonistic without having anything of value to offer, I am deleting their comments. This isn’t to say I delete all comments I disagree with or that upset me, but only those that stand to spread falsehoods or hate for the sake of hating. And if I see someone post a link to a false article or meme with no factual merit, I challenge it by pointing to an article of journalistic merit (one that is researched and fact checked) or even raw data that refutes it. It may not change the mind of the person who posted it, but it just might stop it from being shared blindly.

If we get involved locally, it can make a difference nationally.

This does not mean you have to be involved in party politics and protests. We all need to do a better job of engaging with our neighbors and building community. My one place of respite in social media leading up to the election was the Pantsuit Nation Facebook group. It was a place where we worked to lift each other up, to not let hate and anger fuel our actions or words, and to build a safe space where those with differing backgrounds from politics to religion to race to gender to sexual orientation could speak freely without judgement or fear of being harassed. And after this very difficult election season, my hope is renewed in seeing local chapters of this group breakout and start organizing.

But it doesn’t have to be Pantsuit Nation where you get involved. It could be at your local schools and community centers mentoring kids, it could be serving on the board of a nonprofit whose cause you believe in, it could be organizing food drives and neighborhood clean-ups. All the ways that we can work toward coming together and building community regardless of race, religion, or political affiliation are all things our country needs right now. And the little bit of good we create locally has the potential to spread globally.

#Reflect4Peace Challenge

Now, to get back to my #Reflect4Peace challenge. This was born out of something I started doing organically every year to mark the passing of 9/11, a day of great reflection for me as a survivor of the attacks on the World Trade Center. You can read more about that day here, but the goal of these small acts was to bring me healing and understanding, something I think our divided nation needs right now.

The challenge I set out was to do each of these three things within the next year, and to post on social media a picture, video, poem, song, whatever that reflects on something you learned about yourself or the world around you, and to use the hashtag #Reflect4Peace. You can also tag me in it if you want on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or right here on Tumblr.

Do something that will open your mind to a different view of the world. Maybe attend a ceremony of a religion different than yours. Read a book or editorial by an author who shares a different political view. Volunteer for an organization serving a population you might never interact with in your daily life. Or do something else along those lines that will push you past your comfort zone. The experience will probably be awkward and challenging at times, but approach it with an open mind. Even if it doesn’t make you see things in a new light, I bet at the very least it will demystify something that scares you.

Smile at a stranger, and maybe even talk with them. Ask them about their life. There are 7.4 billion people on this planet, and we all have a story. Learning those stories will help make the world feel more human.

In the last 48 hours, a post of mine from five years ago reflecting on 9/11 has sparked conversation both online and off. A few people I talked with hadn't realized I wrote the piece in 2011. So, after re-reading my own words and brushing through the dust balls of my blog, I thought an updated post was in order.

Tests of Resilience

Sunday was a hard day for me, but not because of the day itself. I've healed a lot and no longer suffer from PTSD and asthma in the way I used to. That's not to say my stomach doesn't still churn when I see images from that day or receive a World Trade Center Health Registry questionnaire to fill out.

To be honest, the anniversary of 9/11 snuck up on me this year. I didn't feel the impending gloom or need for intense contemplative reflection like I have in the past. I think this is in part due to finding some closure from that day, but also partly because my mother's death now overshadows the grief I once felt.

It might be hard to understand until you've lost a parent or someone incredibly close to you, but I've learned the older we get, the more we are greeted with challenges that test our resilience. I didn't think there would ever be a life event that would test me the way 9/11 did, but sure enough, grief and loss are fundamentally the same emotions no matter the circumstance. You just feel them to different degrees.

Time for Reflection

As for Sunday's anniversary, I think the hardest part about it was seeing the day used as just one more ceremony for people to wrap themselves in a cloak of patriotism and nationalism. Yes, 9/11 is a very important day in our country's history and an important day to remember. But we as a society, in my view, do not deserve the right to parade the day around in the way it is done. Particularly media who use the day as a ratings jackpot versus a day of true reflection to assess where we are as a nation.

I wasn't surprised people hadn't realized my previous post was written five years ago. Much of what I said in it about the divisiveness, hate, and casting of stones is not only still true today, it's more so. It's almost unfathomable how far we've come from the "united we stand" ethos in the days following 9/11.

Lately, some days the hate is just too much to take in. The contempt, closed mindedness, and disrespect I see not only for others' viewpoints, but for people themselves makes me want to curl up in a blanket and just wish the world away. We are so caught up in discussions about the pageantry of patriotism that we're ignoring the real issues. It's not about whether someone sits or stands for the national anthem or how they protest a pipeline or whatever headline-creating moment of civil disobedience was done that day. It's about the why behind what sparked that action.

The more time we spend hurling justifications or condemnations about how someone speaks out against something, versus discussions about why, the further we get from real solutions.

An Idea on Healing

I don't have solutions to our world’s problems. And I'm pretty sure that no one individual person has them. But I do have an idea that might help us get closer to finding them. It's sparked by how I try to mark each anniversary of 9/11.

I often refer to 9/11 as my alive day. I try to do at least one thing physically challenging, one thing to introduce myself to a different view of the world, and I try to meet one new stranger.

As much as I wanted to stay curled in my blanket this past Sunday, my boyfriend helped me honor the day. He got me out of the house to do two workouts in a row (running then boxing), something I hadn’t physically done in a while. We followed that by attending a religious ceremony of peace and healing, known as the Sema Ceremony, held by the Seattle Circle of the Mevlevi Order. Neither of us are religious, nor are we comfortable with organized religion of any kind. The ceremony was challenging to get through, but in the end I think it helped grow our understanding of the world by just a tiny bit. We then finished the day toasting to life over a few beers and some nachos (my most favorite food in the world) while making friends with a complete stranger.

So, while the anniversary of 9/11 has passed, I challenge you at some point in the next year to do each of these three things.

Do something that tests what you believe to be your physical limits. It will make you feel alive and give you a new appreciation for your health.

Do something that will open your mind to a different view of the world. Maybe attend a ceremony of a religion different than yours. Read a book or editorial by an author who shares a different political view. Volunteer for an organization serving a population you might never interact with in your daily life. Or do something else along those lines that will push you past your comfort zone. The experience will probably be awkward and challenging at times, but approach it with an open mind. Even if it doesn’t make you see things in a new light, I bet at the very least it will demystify something that scares you.

Smile at a stranger, and maybe even talk with them. Ask them about their life. There are 7.4 billion people on this planet, and we all have a story. Learning those stories will help make the world feel more human. 

#Reflect4Peace