When I was a teenager, I used to be in a lot of internet spaces with russians and every time I look back on that I think to myself wow they never saw me and other Ukrainians as actual human beings, let alone equals to them. Even in so-called progressive communities where they condemn state's policies, while actively benefiting from them and having the same imperial mindset. It's so embarrassing to remember the interactions from that period. I remember fake laughing at jokes at my expense and feel disgusted. I remember seeing performative hate for putin while they go on vacations in occupied territories, their usage of ethnic slurs "as a joke", the constant mocking of Ukrainian language, forcing the "we're brotherly nations" notion, claiming art, culture and cuisine from colonised countries as their own and then saying "you all are uncultured, where are your famous artists?", being nice-ish to you when you stay in line, but once you point out the wrongs their country is doing they turn to belittling you and your struggles. All I feel from those memories is humiliation.
