âThe promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits me to being true even if I cease to be in love. A promise must be about things that I can do, about actions: no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way. He might as well promise to never have a headache or always to feel hungry.â
- C.S. Lewis , Mere Christianity
There was a point in recent time that I didnât like myself. Not even a little bit. I was struggling in my faith. I was trying to come to terms with how I made it back from multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan in one piece. (Itâs called survivorâs guilt.) I was pushing friends and family away because I knew I was toxic. I knew that I wasnât doing what I needed to do. I didnât know what it was I was supposed to do to not do what I was doing. I just didnât know who I was anymore. I didnât know how to deal with people around me, and didnât even want to try. I even tried to convince my wife to leave me. She was bearing the brunt of all of it. How could she not? Sheâs my wife.
Lucky for me (thank you Lord!), she refused. She said: âNo! You promised me! You promised me that this was forever! I know you, you donât break promises. Donât start with this one.â
Talk about a wake up call.
Men, donât break your promises. If you find that youâre ânot in love anymoreâ. Grind it out. Figure it out one way or another. Find a reason to be in love again. Yes, of course she deserves that from you. You owe it to yourself as well.
We all fall. We all fail. What makes you a man is whether or not you get back up and keep doing the work.