#imaginary problems

This level of deliberate ignorance is the current state of journalism.

Not only did Chapman, a lesbian - not "queer" - woman, give Combs approval to cover the song, but as the sole writer and composer, she reaps royalties for his recording, not to mention the uptick in the already considerable exposure of her original recording and back catalogue as a whole from the interest.

“I never expected to find myself on the country charts, but I’m honored to be there,” Chapman tells Billboard in an exclusive statement. “I’m happy for Luke and his success and grateful that new fans have found and embraced ‘Fast Car.’” [..] Combs’ version has generated at least $500,000 in global publishing royalties, Billboard estimates, with the bulk going to Chapman who owns both the writers’ and publisher’s share of the song. Additionally, the success of Combs’ version has boosted Chapman’s original, with weekly consumption of Chapman’s version increasing 44% since Combs’ version was released, according to Luminate.

[ Source: Billboard ]

[ Source: Spotify ]

It couldn't be that Chapman isn't a Country singer, and that an established Country singer is going to do better in the Country charts with a Country cover. No, we have to invent tired identity politics clickbait bullshit involving a racially motivated conspiracy to concoct stories out of thin air.

Consider how much of a shot "I Will Always Love You" had in the R&B charts until Whitney Houston covered Dolly Parton's song. Surely we must conclude that Parton's lack of traction in the R&B genre until Houston's cover came along could only be due to racism against her, right?

Be it body hair, women’s lack of pockets, or films that are too long – there’s no shortage of things to pick up and beat men over the head with.

Brexit, climate change, COVID 19 deaths, the financial crisis, racism, homophobia, or even ‘the weaponisation of women’s hair’; the patriarchy and its little brother, ‘toxic masculinity’ are up to no good, yet again.

And it’s everywhere.

It’s in the cities. It’s in the streets. It’s in oceans, down the valleys and in trees above.

It’s in your breakfast cereal. It’s hiding under your bed. It’s making you late for work and leaving the milk out.

God damn patriarchy.

It’s fucking things up, for everyone, everywhere and quite literally, for all of time.

But whilst angry social justice warriors shake their fists at the sky and shout at clouds, the rest of us look puzzled as to what the hell they’re all yelling about.

Beards? Patriarchy. Bacon sandwiches? Patriarchy. Not recycling your plastic bottle? Patriarchy. The absurdity and fragility knows no bounds.

Luckily, some things are just too stupid to be offensive, and thankfully many of these things are exactly that.

And whilst I take no offence from the silliness of these articles, I must admit I may have lost braincells reading them, whilst the full body cringe has left me pretzel like and exhausted.

So, tell me, what has the patriarchy done to you?

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Don't forget skyscrapers.

Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your [tiger-repelling] rock!

Feminist man-hating dyke can’t handle the notions that a) the overwhelming majority of the world is heterosexual, and b) men constitute about half the population, and therefore, astonishingly, men are somehow going to come up regularly when women talk about other people, just as women come up regularly when men talk about other people.

She literally triggers (complete with an alarm), then publicly shames Marge because she doesn’t hate her husband.