✞ JULY EVALUATION * SUMMER PARTY ; COMPLETE with @rkseunghun​ @ianrk​ @mxnark​ @beomgyurk​ @rkserim​ also mentioned: @haknyeonrk and @rkmiya july 31st, 2020

he’s nervous the day of the performance, and he wonders if this will always be the case. maybe one failed evaluation has scarred him for life, and he’s doomed to have it flash through his mind before every performance. he reminds himself that that was different; he couldn’t prepare for a switch in their music to go along with an already difficult dance and a daniel that felt drastically less skilled somehow, despite it being mere months ago. 

maybe it’s just new confidence. maybe it’s that this performance is fun, and was his idea-- his evaluation to begin, and his evaluation to finish more than any others with dancing included. 

regardless, that new confidence wavers a little as they’re on deck, following several wonderful performances that daniel tried to enjoy in full but ultimately failed to with this performance heavy on his mind. thankfully, there are still plenty to come, and depending on whether he nails it or fails it, he’ll be able to enjoy them once this is all said and done. there’s the promise of the party on the other side of this too, and one way or another, the performance will come and pass, and--

no, that’s not a winner’s mindset. wasn’t he thinking mere days ago about how much fun he had working on this evaluation? it’s more important now than ever to look like he’s having fun, here on this rooftop in the middle of summer, performing a song that’s full of energy to keep the crowd of other professionals in this industry lively and enjoying the performances. (there are idols there too. he tries not to think about that too much either, or his nerves multiply.)

no, they can do this, and they can do well. he is confident, even as the nerves still flutter in the pit of his stomach when the audience claps after the performance they will follow. he needs a little more confidence, so he says a quick prayer, and flashes back to when he felt the most himself: ironically, while pretending to be someone else. he thinks of empty enigma stages, and his element, and cameo, and he tries to bring some of him back. it worked well for him on the mgas, so why not now? why not every performance from here on out? he can do it.

when he steps on stage, he believes it, even as he looks out at the crowd-- even as he spots haknyeon and the rest of per_se, then and*roma, and his eyes settle on sunmi momentarily. that desperation to prove himself returns, but it’s also accompanied by a desperation to have fun, and a smile that stretches across his face.

it’s a good thing, too, because he sings the first lines, and sets the standard for the entire rest of the performance. 

i wanna run to you all my senses are looking for you right now

he doesn’t have many lines, but he doesn’t mind it. he actually enjoys this choreography, and is content to just dance for most of the song. he hopes the others, most of which it’s their first evaluation, are enjoying themselves too.

maybe, just maybe, in one of the rare times he dances near the front, he’s intentional to catch sunmi’s eye, and even more determined to finish out strongly.

@ianrk

tw; internalized homophobia just for a sec, as is typical for woongxrk

he can’t say he’s thrilled by it, the thought of his friend dating the only girl he’s ever managed to pretend he had feelings for. maybe he had liked yiren once, at least in some way that he could; maybe he resents that it’s easy for ian to be normal, like it’s a slap in his face from the universe, just to remind him that he’s not. 

needless to say, he’s been glad enough that they haven’t had any overlapping classes until now. now, stuck with both of the happy couple, woong has to pretend that even the sight of yiren doesn’t make his blood boil, that seeing she and ian hold hands and act couple-ey doesn’t bring a wave of contempt and disgust so powerful that he feels physically nauseous. he keeps his distance from her as best as he can, though made more difficult by the natural gravity of two friends in unfamiliar territory. he doesn’t blame her for not wanting to leave ian’s side, but woong doesn’t know anyone else here either.

“if you laugh at me,” he warns his friend, finding a corner of the room for himself before ian inevitably wanders back to yiren’s side, “i’ll never speak to you again. i already know you’re probably the most flexible guy in the room. i’ve only stretched for like.. five hours of my whole life.” an exaggeration, definitely, but a real warning is dulled with a little humor. 

ft. @ianrk​

he was a fool for even agreeing to do this as if he was going to win something in the end. yeonjun was never the star student his parents expected him to be, especially with his major. whenever it came to lectures, he wouldn’t even attend them and if he did, he wouldn’t even be listening to them all the way. but it’s because of his apathy towards schoolwork that got him into this situation anyway. perhaps he overestimated himself by thinking he would be able to succeed by just cramming a whole semester’s worth into his brain no problem. 

while he’d rather think of this situation like a person with an external locus of control, he couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that this was ultimately his fault. the fact that he even brought up the bet when he knew damn well it was going to take him a lot of work in order to have a chance of winning. curse his competitive spirit because rather than being peaceful and taking the L, he was willing to put up a fight if it meant beating woong, or at least the possibility of it. 

but at this point, his brain felt like it was going to explode. even though he was a night owl, he’d much rather be sleeping or making music instead of having to go over one more fucking formula. though it’s not a new feeling, he felt ultimately pathetic for even wanting to do this. he knew he couldn’t complain to woong about it because they aren’t even that close yet. but if he did, he’d probably get the same comment his parents gave him when he complained about it to them: “you should’ve studied the material when it was given to you.” 

███▒░  ► “CAVE ME IN” GALLANT X TABLO X ERIC NAM

give it up for: kim minseok, park chanyeol & kim sangbae ! location: yeouido flower festival date: 20170401

it’s april 1st and he almost wants to tell ian and minseok “april fool’s!!!” about performing at the yeouido flower festival, but the fact of the matter is that he’s far too excited to even fake backing out of it.

it’s been years since the three of them have done anything together, let alone a performance. in fact, chanyeol can’t recall the three of them ever being on stage at the same time, considering ian had only gotten into music recently (he still doesn’t know how to talk about anything related to the beach or surfing around him). to be standing with them now, about to take the stage, reminds him of the past summers and winters when ian would visit los angeles, and the trouble they would cause for all parents involved. they were handful---and they still are. the only difference now is that they’re harnessing that energy and focusing it toward different goals.

✞ JULY EVALUATION * SUMMER PARTY PREP ; COMPLETE with @rkseunghun​ @ianrk​ @mxnark​ @beomgyurk​ @rkserim​ july 31st, 2020

he isn’t afraid of dancing anymore.

maybe it’s ambitious when he picks the song that he does, dancing included, but he’s managed to avoid dancing in evaluations for the past few months, and he’s ready for the change. maybe it’s even foolish to choose to dance for a performance that will be in front of all the other trainees in samsung’s companies, but daniel’s confidence has grown. he’s not that bad at dancing. 

if he thinks too hard about it, he’ll start worrying, and doubting himself, so he doesn’t. instead, he practices hard, as he always does. he’s always been a relatively quick learner, but he finds he picks up the choreography faster than ever as he learns it early in the month. 

he chose complete, orchestrating this eval performance, because it was a song he wanted to perform for a year. he first found it when team sphere was looking for songs to represent sphere back in the final rounds of the mgas, but he didn’t even bother offering it as a suggestion because he found the dance too difficult after a mere glance at it.

maybe that’s part of why he wants to do it now too; he always wants to prove himself-- always feels he has to after all of his failures, both to everyone else and himself --and performing a song he thought was too difficult at this time last year is a respectable way to do that.

maybe it’s even more ambitious to add mina and ian to the group halfway through the month, but mina is his sister and ian is his friend; what was he supposed to do, leave them to fend for themselves and find a group among a sea of mostly unfamiliar trainees? it’ll be more fun this way, too, and give daniel, ultimately an introvert, an anchor among trainees he’s unfamiliar performing with. his own morale rises, and he thinks the energy of their new additions suits complete perfectly.

the others-- seunghun, beomgyu and serim --are talented too, and kind, and he’s grateful they agreed to join up with a relative stranger (though he and seunghun were both on the mgas, despite never working together before. he’s glad he gets to now.)

@ianrk

CONTENT WARNING: internalized homophobia, homophobic slur

it’s a peculiar type of stress that overwhelms woong whenever fashion week comes to seoul. he avoids dongdaemun like the plague while it’s going on, easily enough excused by not liking crowds, loud noise, anything. woong would even claim that he hates fashion, but that’s not quite the truth. he takes enough pride in his appearance as he can having grown up in school uniforms and budget casual wear. what he hates is a little more complex. the stereotypes, the high-voiced lispy caricatures of fruity couples. he doesn’t want to be that, or even remotely mistaken for it.

the bazaar is safer, though. it’s something more familiar too. secondhand stores were he and his mother’s lifeline after his trashbag of a father, the breadwinner, left them on their own. even now, with those harder days more of a memory than their present, thrifty habits haven’t completely abandoned him or his dresser drawers. he’s gotten pretty good at sniffing out good deals, treasures among piles of trash. and anything to get out of his stepfather’s house, honestly.

thank god for ian who provides a perfect excuse. woong can act as translator if he wants to feign disinterest in clothes, and even now as they browse through the market and chat, it’s in a mix of languages. korean when french fails woong, french when korean fails ian.

This month was surprisingly fun for the vocalist and she had managed to have more fun than she had expected. Not only were her two group mates fun, but their concept was fun too. It was something Yoona had zero experience in and so she was excited to try it. She had very little experience in the romance department and she couldn’t begin to imagine what it was like to be part of a love triangle. She had only ever seen such things in dramas and movies.

                                     ✧ ALWAYS A GEMINI ✧

Not Shy - ITZY | @jsominrk​, @ianrk​

The theme for this month’s evaluation was unique and one Im Yoona had not been expecting. Who would have thought to focus on your zodiac sign and Yoona had to applaud the trainers for their creativity and their ability to keep them on their toes. After all, Yoona had never really thought about how her zodiac sign influenced her personality and how she conducted herself.

Until now.