#rkspring

“Mm, yes. That’s right. You came into my life and it’s been so much better ever since. Every spring I’m reminded of the day that my miracle baby was born. I’m so thankful for you, Mingyu. You’re getting so old,” she teased, looking up an entire foot to focus on his face. “So tall, too. My healthy boy. I can’t believe how old you’re going to be tomorrow. Now on your last year of school, too... I say this all of the time, but I feel like it was just yesterday that I was bringing you home from the hospital. You were the biggest baby there, you weighed so much.” She paused, taking a deep breath and falling silent for several moments. She was reminiscing about the times when her son was much smaller than he is now. “You’re a man, now. And a good one at that. I’ve very proud of who you’ve become. I was never worried, though.”

Mingyu was warmly smiling the entire time, watching his mother intently as she went on. He knew far too well how much he meant to her, considering that it was obvious the way that she spoke to and of him. It’s almost as if he was the most interesting thing in the world and the sole subject she was passionate about with the way her face lights up. He was very lucky to have such a wonderful mother. She was one of his closest friends and he knew that would never change. He would always do everything in his power to protect and provide for her, as that’s what she’s devoted most of her life to doing for him. The best part was, it didn’t feel like a duty. He simply wanted to, just as he’s sure she would be able to relate to the feeling.

He felt a bit of guilt at all of her praises, though, but he did a good job of hiding it. He didn’t exactly feel like he was as great of a man as she seemed to think. Maybe she was giving him too much credit. Nevermind that, however, because he’d never correct nor make her feel like her words meant any less. He would simply smile and gratefully accept them, as hurting her feelings wasn’t something he ever had intentions of doing.

“I’m only so great because I was raised by the most kind-hearted and beautiful woman on the planet.”

His mother delightfully laughed before covering her face and leaning against Mingyu’s arm. “You’re too kind to me.”

“That’s impossible. If anyone is too kind, it’s you. You’re kind to the whole entire world.”

She didn’t have much of a comeback for his statement, so instead, she simply hummed in acknowledgment before they fell into another comfortable silence.

Eventually, she broke it. “What do you want for your birthday?”

“Nothing. I already have everything that I need.”

She frowned, side-eyeing him before letting out a huff. “I’ll surprise you, then.”

Mingyu laughed before letting out a sigh. Again, he could argue, but he wasn’t going to.

A moment later, Sujin was placing her palm against his and intertwining their fingers, and once again he felt a tad bit of embarrassment. “Don’t you think I’m a little too old to be holding my mother’s hand so I won’t get lost?”

“You think that’s what I’m doing?” She paused. “I’m holding your hand so I won’t get lost.” Warmly laughing, she gave his hand a light squeeze. “This is still my favorite hand to hold. I remember when it was much, much tinier.”

Her son laughed before shaking his head. “Mm... But what about Hyunwoo’s?”

“He’s my third favorite hand to hold.”

Mingyu quirked an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? Then who's your second?”

“Won. You could have guessed that, don’t be silly, Gyu. My other precious boy.”

of course he was nervous, minhyuk had expected to be; it was his first real live performance since he was last a trainee. the festival definitely wasn’t the most glamorous or serious event minhyuk had ever performed at, but it was still important. the weather was comfortable, the sun was out, and so were the cherry blossoms. the feeling was nice, and it truly felt like a step forward for the male, despite the fact that performing at the flower festival wasn’t going to suddenly put him at the top. it wasn’t like the performance was for a contest or a survival show either, but still minhyuk found himself excited. there was a time when he hadn’t expected to ever perform again, and yet he was standing on stage again already.

he doesn’t sing the first lines, but the choreography begins with him in the very front. he’s the center of attention, for however amount of seconds it is (he’s pretty sure it’s around 12), and he could practically hear his blood pumping through his ears as he waited for the music to start. he lifted his arm similarly to a saluting position once the music was playing, a wide grin spreading across as he moved across the stage. he felt like he was shaking when he finally sang, though he hoped he didn’t sound like he was. just thinking of how nervous he was felt ridiculous.

물끄러미 시선 강탈했어

he was more of an excited nervous, with much more adrenaline in his veins than there was when he had preformed with his sister just a few days before. he had only been playing the guitar then (with a little singing), focusing on the choreography while singing and remembering to smile was a whole new ball game. it helped that minhyuk had been a trainee once before, he didn’t feel totally lost while performing, but he couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t really know what he was doing. most of that was probably coming from the fact that it’d been so long since he had really preformed in front of a crowd, but there was also the lingering wonder of whether minhyuk was doing the right thing. he’d started practicing again over the winter after who knows how long since his last performance; was this what he wanted? was it worth really trying to become an idol?

오르지 못한 산 이래도 기필코 넘어가 보겠어

he was definitely thinking too much, and over a performance that was in no way going to determine his future. of course he had to be thinking about this now, and almost missing his next lines because of it too, but that was an almost--- he comes in at the right time with a smile and walks forward past the rest of the guys, arms out before he turns back around.

말리면 더하고 싶은 걸 자존심 때문은 아니야

yixing does his part in between when minhyuk sings again and he turns to face the audience once more, bringing up an arm to move alongside his head as he sang his lines, and honestly, the moves and the few small reactions he got from them made minhyuk feel the coolest he’d felt in a long time. hearing naeun’s almost obnoxious cheers actually helped too, pulling out a small smile from the elder as he went back into place.

빨주노초파란보라색 무지개처럼

the bridge finally beginning with minhyuk’s part brings a sense of relief that the song is ending, but also a sadness that the performance couldn’t go on any longer. it felt as if his chest was filled with hot air like he was ready to float away any second, so maybe it was good hide & seek was nearing its close. the song was still upbeat though, and minhyuk did his best to keep the right expression through the whole song. an arm circling around taehyung that was planned into the choreography and a few improvised interactions occur before the music finally stops and the boys are left to catch their breath, some bows here and there but ultimately they’re encouraged to leave the stage quickly in order for staff to prepare for the next performance. 

minhyuk barely has time to exhale before he gives back his mic and rushes off backstage rather than meeting naeun in the audience. the support she gave him was always appreciated, though often over the top, it was probably one of the best things he could have ever asked for. it was times like these that the siblings now only had each other to lean on, not their parents, and it was truly needed. minhyuk couldn’t even bring himself to think hard enough about whether or not his mother would have been proud of him then in the moment. i need to do that again; it’s the only thought in his head, beneath his sweaty fringe. 

she gave her friend a pat on the back as they waited just outside the stage, trying to give dawon some confidence even if the pair was known for not lacking it. it was a thing that was truly never bad to have too much of - or at least before going on stage to perform something they had spent so much time preparing for. though the key was to have fun, right? sunday’s head still pounded with her just wanting to look good.

Yeah!

the song had both an exciting rhythm and a choreography that made you want to follow. the lyrics also got stuck in your head too easily, so a better pick was highly improbable. it pretty much fit the formula for a perfect song. not sunday’s personal favorite, but she also wouldn’t skip it if it was the next song on random.

jiae got most of the cute-sounding lines, and she honestly couldn’t be bothered. she saw it as managing your voice however you wanted to, and also as an extreme advantage. it wasn’t her usual voice, of course, though she could also use either one to sing. a lot of people couldn’t sing even if they tried, so getting to do it two different ways (and not sound awkward while doing it) was one of her many strong points. dawon got to do it too, but the other’s vocal abilities were nothing to compare. it was like placing lettuce next to a nice bar of chocolate.

the chorus was something good to scream your lungs out in a concert, though jiae doubted anyone was going to do it in the middle of a friendly park. those kind of performances were the kind you really couldn’t expect public interaction. you could wink at random people, sure, but they weren’t actually going to sing the fanchants and dance along unless you were performing a chi chi song. in that case, even sunday would have joined in on the excitement - and she wasn’t even as big of a fan as dawon was. everybody and anybody knew chi chi songs. it was like knowing the national anthem - they all had to learn it.

before anything happened jiae honestly believed she was the better dancer between the two, but nova’s training system was no joke. she had three classes a week, but it was still nothing when you put it to a comparison. of course that she would never say it out loud - especially if dawon was around to listen - but that was the truth she believed in now. the other’s moves flowed much better, and she looked much more elegant, but it wasn’t like sunday was going to trash herself. if she was amazing, dawon was simply a little bit more amazing. she’d be coming for her dancing ass once she got a trainee title, which was a time that certainly needed to come.

if dawon ended up debuting while she still worked at up games it would just be the most devastating thing to happen. of course, she’d be happy for her friend’s achievement, but it’d also feel like a great, big trick from the universe. some people had dreams they weren’t meant to achieve, but jiae wasn’t going to be one of them. she’d fight the universe if it was needed, but she wasn’t planning to be left behind.

“you did well.” she told the other with a smirk, both still up on the stage after the song was done. her eyes probably made it look like a mock, though most things she said seemed like it (and some actually were). “i think i did better, though. just a little bit.” jiae pinched the air to show the difference between the two, the space between her fingers being minimal. once upon a time she would have one hand on the ground and the other up in the air, but sunday had learned to be reasonable. “don’t think much of yourself, now.”

Who doesn’t want to be the center? But he knows that he’s not the most consistent or stable vocalist, even if classes at the Nightingale transformed his screeching into something more bearable. He likes learning all the technical terms -- light lyric tenor, supported chest voice down to D3s, all hell breaks lose past a G#4. 

Okay, he’ll admit that last one isn’t the technical term. The technical term is much, much nicer sounding. But that’s basically what it means.

As a beginning vocalist -- one very below average one at that -- his concentration isn’t on fancy runs or ornamentation. He just needs to keep his notes clean and supported. It’s turned out to be much harder than he thought. However, the regular practice stopped his grandmother from making a “no singing indoors”

He’s going to have eight lines in the song. They’re simple enough that he should be able to squeeze by in a performance, so long as he doesn’t forget the basics. Ever since he’d officially received his lines, not a moment goes by without him practicing. But eight lines means he has eight chances to impress and eight chances to mess up. For the sake of the team, his notes have to count. He can’t let them down -- or worse, embarrass them. }

The performance starts before he’s even ready and he opens his mouth, a millisecond away from blurting out his lines and wrecking the whole performance from the start. Thank LORD he caught himself before it happened. But, now he’s standing there with a gaping mouth like he’s never seen a microphone stand before. 

He needs to play it off. Cover it up like he planned on looking like a fish. Uh.

He uses his thumb to point at Matthew, like he’s in shock and disbelief at how cool the guy is. There was a time where he really did walk around looking at him like that, years ago when they met in his mother’s shop and he recognized Matthew from television. But, time and friendship quickly transformed the worship into subdued admiration. Still, he doesn’t think he knows anybody as naturally cool as Matt. 

He can’t help but start bobbing along as Matt and Taejo breeze through -- at least, in his opinion! -- through the opening lines like it was their destiny to perform the song. Holy shit, they were cool. His part is coming up. It’s coming up fast. 

Since he dances like Pinocchio, he doesn’t dare try to dance.  Literally, his instructions are to act like he’s making love to the microphone stand.

His legs are out of commission, held up by metal braces so he doesn’t crumple to the ground like a puppet cut from its strings, so he needs to engage from the waist up. For once, enjoying card tricks and sleight of hand has a practical use. Sunggyu is used to redirecting someone’s attention using only his hands and goofy smile. 

It’s like his little moment with the microphone stand is a full-body card trick.  Except instead of cards, he has to imagine like... Someone’s thigh.

“ I can only live if you’re here Every day, every night I can feel you “

Sunggyu is so excited his notes were supported and clean, he fist pumps and almost knocks over the microphone stand he just finished fondling. It’s a euphoric feeling that blurs out the crowd, letting him do his goofy bobbing along like he’s rocking out in the shower. 

“ I can only live if you’re here Every day, every night I can feel you “

There was a slightly questionable note on every night, but nobody’s ears were bleeding. He’s more than halfway finished with his part. Sunggyu wishes that they could’ve been allowed to sing the song again; he’s so concentrated on hitting the notes that he’s not thinking about the meaning. But, at least he’s loosening up and getting more comfortable. He has two lines to redeem himself. He has two lines to give it his best shot.

“ I know you’re more beautiful when I only look “

Jealousy. Bitterness. Nostalgia. Remorse. ( He thinks about that one time his mom ate his last slice of birthday cake. )

“ My one and only baby “

Soft. Tender. Lingering. ( He thinks about something precious and irreplaceable: his family, how he let them down, how he’s not going to let them down anymore. )

Eight lines and out of all of them, he thinks the last one is his best. Maybe it’s possible that someone like him can get better if he takes life one step at a time. If he can walk after the crash, then he sure as hell can learn to sing. He’s going to learn. He’s going to keep learning. He’ll message the Nightingale and tell them that he’s changed his mind about quitting his lessons.

As he looks over his teammates, he smiles. 

All he could think about were his two siblings. He missed them more than he could even begin to explain and it made him want to cry. He couldn’t, though. Not now. Not anytime soon. Another thing weighing on him was the fact that his mother has been all alone. He knew that she was struggling before he ever moved, but he was so confident in himself before. He was positive that he would become successful quickly so that he could help support and care for her. He’s only ever wanted to provide for them and be the man that his father decided not to be when he left. Now his brother and sister are stuck with him anyway, his mother went from having all of her children to none of them, and each ounce of confidence that he once maintained was sucked from him until it was completely depleted. Is this what it feels like to hit rock bottom? To feel as if there’s nowhere to go? Who could he even turn to at this point? Although he didn’t have the answers, something made him stay here anyway. Even when he felt like he wanted nothing more than to pack his bags and head back home to Busan to be with his mother, he didn’t.

His dreams feel hopeless, yet he still managed to perform yesterday. If he has so little faith in himself, what is he doing continuing to take chances? Maybe deep down, he knew it wasn’t over. Even so, nothing has ever hit him harder than when he didn’t make the Samsung commercial. When he felt like everyone else was a better vocalist than him, when he felt like he was the least intelligent kid around, when he felt like he had nothing much at all, he always thought that he could count on his appearance. No matter what, he’d been taught to rely on his pretty face and nice body that he constantly worked so hard to maintain (now he had to work out harder and watch what he ate even more because he obviously needed to better himself). Losing that just felt like a punch to the gut, repeatedly being kicked once he was down, and finally finished off with a shot to the heart. What was he? Who was he? He wasn’t good enough. If that couldn’t bring him success... what possibly could?

despite the fact that she did consider performing to be her destiny, however, she couldn’t shake the fear that something could go wrong during her performance at the spring festival. what if the audience didn’t like her? it would be her first time on a stage such as this one, and, given that she’d be inexperienced with that sort of thing, it felt almost impossible to ease her worries.

that was, at least, until she and mingyu had agreed to perform together.

performing alone was a scary thought, but how could something ever go wrong with someone like mingyu on her team? he was one of the few people whom jihyo considered to be a friend, and he was more than a capable rapper from what jihyo could remember. together, they’d make a worthwhile duo, and she’s almost certain that the audience would love them so long as he was on the stage alongside her.

우연히 내게 오나봐 봄 향기가 보여 너도 같이 오나봐 저 멀리서 니 향기가 설레는 코끝에 나의 입술에 괜찮은 느낌 이 떨림 나도 몰래 우연히 봄

she has the honor of starting the song out, which feels almost fitting for her first stage. she’s unable to resist as her trademarked cheerful expression takes over, and, although she’s still nervous, she’s suddenly met with a newfound sense of confidence that she may be able to pull this off. it was only one song, after all; once she debuts, she’ll have to do a lot more than this.

우연히 내게 오나봐 봄 향기가 보여 너도 같이 오나봐 저 멀리서 니 향기가 설레는 코끝에 나의 입술에 괜찮은 느낌 이 떨림 나도 몰래 우연히 봄 우연히 봄

her turn to sing comes immediately after mingyu’s finished with his rap, and she’d be lying to say that she wasn’t grateful. singing was a way to occupy herself and not focus on whatever negatives the audience could be focusing on, and swaying around waiting to sing did the opposite. maybe she’d become used to it eventually, given that nothing even seemed all that bad so far. it was fun, though that didn’t stop her heart from racing.

우연히 내게 오나봐 봄 향기가 보여 너도 같이 오나봐 저 멀리서 니 향기가 설레는 코끝에 나의 입술에 괜찮은 느낌 이 떨림 나도 몰래 우연히 봄

jihyo was eager for spring to come around, and it’s easy to see why. the area around them is beautiful, and it proves difficult to focus on her performance instead of the scenery surrounding her. she’ll be able to focus on things such as trees after she’s given the audience a performance that they’re sure to enjoy.

I love you, so, I love you 너무 쉬운 걸 그래도 나 참고 있을게 난 여자이니까 하루 더 기다려

it was perhaps the most difficult part of the song for her thus far, but, for the first time since stepping onto the stage, jihyo wasn’t nervous. her heart still insisted on beating slightly faster than usual, but, given the fact that neither she nor mingyu had made a mistake thus far, she was confident that they could make it through the entire performance on top of their game.

while it was possible to mess up, jihyo somehow knows deep down that she won’t. she refuses to be the one to let mingyu down, and she can only hope that her willpower (and of course, her talent,) will be enough.

and, from what she could tell, it was enough.

바보야 내게 말해봐 니 마음도 보여 갖고 싶다고 해봐 더 이상은 감추지 마 어느새 내 앞에 이젠 내 앞에 괜찮은 느낌 이 떨림 나도 몰래 우연히 봄

when the song finally draws to a close, the cheerful smile that had been glued to her face throughout the entirety of their performance seems to impossibly grow wider. this was only the first of many times she’d perform on a stage such as this one, and she can’t help but wonder what her next opportunity could be. would this be an important memory that she looks back on later after she’s debuted? in a way, she could consider this to be the start of her musical journey, even if it’s a goal that she’s been working towards for most of her life.

it’s not ten’s usual song choice, but then again he’s danced hundreds of girl group dances simply for fun before, so it’s not like it’ll be particularly challenging. of course, fights over who would take which parts had occurred, but ten came away with a good cut of lines. he’s not confident in his voice, but then sungho is better at rapping than him, leaving ten with sub vocalist parts, which he doesn’t particularly mind all that much, it is just for fun anyway. 

it’s all muscle memory really as he’s danced the entire song multiple times before already, so it’s easy getting the dance moves right. it’s harder, though, not letting his voice shake with nerves - he’s just not a good singer, despite how much he likes it, and how often he sings around the house. 

so maybe he really loves this, but he’s not going to admit it. it may have been his idea, but it was meant to be a joke. of course, ten had to go and get all invested and excited about it. maybe no one will notice how enthusiastic his smile is, how energetic the dance moves are. 

so, once the song’s over and ten’s stood in their finishing position, breathing heavy and smile stuck on his lips, he’s pleased with how it went, and he also has the great desire to run and hide from embarrassment, but mainly only because he knows sungho and rowoon (probably more sungho) are embarrassed. ten’s just thankful he didn’t invite any of his friends to see him perform.