Wtf do I even wear the Dexcom for? Not a fuckin peep outta that thing. It was saying I was over 100. It took my service dog going to get my mom to wake me up for me to know I was critically fucking low. I could barely swallow juice and almost went to the emergency room for this one.
This happened a couple weeks ago and I’m still pissed about it. I literally could have died in my sleep. I’d had a good meal a couple hours before laying down for a quick nap and I checked my sugar first and it was perfect. If I wasn’t currently visiting my mom I would have been at home alone. As it was she was about to force me to go to the ER it took so long to get it up to a normal range. Thank God I have a service dog who is persistent.
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After several years of needing to upgrade my Mobility Aid and not doing so because of pride, stigma, whatever, I have decided to just go for it.
I'm buying this at the end of the summer for next school year
My ability to get around changes so vastly from day to day.
It depends on my reaction to the meds I take in the morning, if they affect my blood sugar or not and that depends on whether or not I eat breakfast, when I eat breakfast, and what I eat.
Then during the day my ability to get around again depends on my blood sugar and my blood sugar is often dictated by the amount of stress I am under because if I am getting upset with the students and having to yell and losing my temper or just getting frustrated, it causes my blood sugar to spike and drop and then I get dizzy and can't get around.
And those crazy days are precisely the days they choose to have fire drills. We have a fire drill every month even though in the 7 years I've been there of course we have never needed it. In contrast we only have a lockdown drill was a year and we have had actual lockdowns three times in the last 7 years.
When there is a fire drill, depending on where we are at in the building I either have to leave the kids across the street, or the opposite way through the tennis courts and into a gigantic field, full of gopher holes.
On my BEST day, this is nerve-wracking due to my agoraphobia. If I have inadvertently skipped a med, or if my blood sugar is off for any reason then it is almost impossible for me to do. One time I couldn't even leave the school building I just said okay I'm sorry you guys go on I have to stand here.
I wish there was better representation and there wasn't so much stigma with this. I wish it could be depicted that you could look like an absolute badass punk rocker and walk with a walker or a cane or a cart.
Going to El Paso and meeting the guy with rheumatoid arthritis that use a cane and yet saying the absolute hell out of speed metal songs during karaoke was really awesome. And the cane fight / lightsaber rule that we had out in the parking lot was definitely the highlight of this year for me.
I know this is the right decision for me and I know people are going to ask all kinds of questions when I get it but I'm doing it anyway because it is for the best and sometimes you just have to man up even when you're a woman and just do s***.
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Today's hard, but I'm doing a smart thing and eating lunch first before talking about my hurt feelings.
Food is comforting and makes things feel like less of an end of the world disaster and more like an "ughhhhhhh that's annoying and now I'm going to have to TALK about this later."
Thank the kind gods for leftovers so I can just eat and not have to fix anything.
