#hyperarousal

And uh. Mike is SUFFERING. His mind is absolutely on overload, just in a different way, and I said something in a tumblr comment that I want to bring up in a post with other things.

I want to compare two things by bringing up what’s called the Window of Tolerance:

Just because Mike is not explosively crying or angry or yelling doesn’t mean he’s not reacting. Just because he’s not reacting in a way that’s ‘interesting’ or ‘engaging’ to watch doesn’t mean there isn’t anything going on in his head.

Nancy is experiencing HYPERarousal, which is where her own yelling and anger and crying and frantic problem solving comes from.

Mike is experiencing HYPOarousal. First of all, he’s severely dissociating in one scene, which I went over in a separate post:

Second, one of the symptoms of hypoarousal is surrendering or being submissive and/or compliant:

When Nancy is yelling at Mike and saying “we could’ve done something, we could’ve acting last week, last month,” Mike just…sits there and TAKES it. He barely even tries to fight back, he just sits there and takes it with the most heartbreaking look on his face:

HE IS BARELY EVEN CONTRIBUTING TO THE CONVERSATION. Because he has nothing to say, his body and mind have completely shut down and he CAN’T fight back because his mind is in severe trauma freeze mode I guess. I do the same thing when greeted with conflict or trauma, I respond to negative stimuli the same way Mike does in these scenes.

And from what we’ve seen in the show, Mike is normally a very proactive character, making plans, explaining said plans, putting plans into action, bringing the group together and breaking things down and taking action- he’s very goal oriented for the most part.

But Mike here, he has completely shut down. He has no fight left.

(Also Noah and Finn’s acting specifically feels so much more elevated, they’ve both matured so much as actors and I really felt an ‘upgrade’ this season like dear god they are powerful actors)

Mike IS reacting, his mind has just been overwhelmed by so much that it shut down.

Because of my trauma (and PTSD), I frequently experience states of hyperarousal (something I think perhaps should have a different name). I get stuck in panicked states, essentially, specifically in scenarios that at all trigger me.

One of my big triggers is unfortunately going to see doctors, specifically men. (My therapist thinks it'd be better described as "men in power scrutinizing me, especially with Her around", since She comes with me to a lot of appointments but whatever.)

But I rarely freeze.

I go through these appointments (more frequently than I want to, less frequently than I need to) with my heart in my throat, stumbling over answers I could recite backwards before I entered the room, sometimes doing tests and taking in information.

But then once the appointment is done, by the time I'm walking out, I cannot remember what doctor I just saw or why, anything we said, any tests they did, etc.

Often, I'll recall parts of it if I give it awhile. But I am in such a state of panic during so many of these appointments that once I get out, my mind just tries to hit the erase button.

A Million techniques and hacks can’t substitute that. If you’re stuck in a living situation that makes you feel unsafe then your body is reacting to smth it would need to go into hyperarousal over.

Ah yes, the 5 F's

Fight

Flight

Freeze

Friend