Lord, ipanalo mo naman ang love life ko this time. It’s really tiring to chase someone who does not see me a his partner. But I know my situation is complicated, and most of the time it is challenge. I am trusting you Lord with your plans. If he is not for me then touch his heart and be honest with me. If he is not meant for me, please remove him to my life so I can have peace. I am so tired of having this feeling of anxiousness and feeling that I will never be good enough to someone.

But I also do believe that things happens for a reason. If both of us are meant to be, I will pray that you will touch our hearts, make it strong and give as courage to take the risk. Bless our hearts that we may be good for each other, that we can accept each other’s past and mistakes.

I am starting to feel anxious of the things that might possible happen but I will always trust you.

I am just observing. You hair, the ring that you are wearing together with your necklace, a photograph on your bed side table, a girly tumbler and your jeans hanging at the back of your door.

That is definitely you. No pretentions. Not trying to impress. “Ahh. Ganyan pala sya” not in the negative way, but in awe because of how confident you are.

Life is a balance.

Lagi ko naman sinasabi na we can’t have it all.

We belong to a different world. Our profession. Our experience. Our thought process. But somehow we manage to understand things even in silence.

“Loving your enemies” is a dangerous concept to teach to our people and children 👶🏽

We tried that and it did not work❌ 💔👇🏾

Somewhere along the way, we turned self-care into a destination.

A spa day.

A vacation.

A weekend off.

A reward after we’ve exhausted ourselves trying to be everything for everyone else.

I don’t think that’s what we’re actually searching for.

I think we’re searching for self-preservation.

They’re not the same.

Self-preservation comes first.

It isn’t an event. It isn’t something you schedule when life finally slows down.

It’s a way of living.

It’s the way you nourish your body because your body deserves fuel.

It’s the way you rest because your mind wasn’t designed to run without recovery.

It’s the way you move because your body was made for movement.

It’s the way you speak because your voice deserves to exist in the spaces you occupy.

It’s the way you protect your peace because your life has value.

It’s the way you remain curious enough to try something new, allowing your imagination to stay alive.

It’s the way you rediscover joy as you continue growing in this vessel you’ve been entrusted with.

Even my home reflects this philosophy.

I don’t decorate my environment.

I curate it.

Every room, every object, every routine should contribute to the kind of person I’m becoming. Our environments are constantly shaping us, whether we notice it or not. I’d rather shape mine with intention.

None of this is luxury.

It’s maintenance.

It’s stewardship.

It’s the foundation that allows us to continue creating, building, loving, and serving.

The moment taking care of yourself becomes optional, you’ve already abandoned the foundation.

You’ve already begun abandoning yourself.

The goal isn’t to become better at practicing self-care.

The goal is to build a life where preserving yourself becomes as natural as breathing.

Not something you earn.

Not something you reward yourself with.

Not something you remember after you’ve given every last piece of yourself away.

It becomes your way of life.

The quiet, daily discipline of protecting the person you’re becoming.

Because the worlds we create will never be healthier than the person creating them.

Self-preservation is the first act of creation.

Lord, please give me a sign that what I am doing right now is right. Make me understand that I need to trust You and trust the process.