#human rayla

“So . . . what was all that with Runaan this morning?” Ram asked carefully as he and Rayla followed the human boys down the mountainside towards where they could see smoke from the nearby village. 

Rayla shrugged without looking at him. “He just . . . needed t’tell me somethin’.” She said, but her tone was too rough and defensive.  

“Ah.” Ram furrowed his brows at her and tilted his head. “Do you . . . want to talk about it?”

Rayla did a double take and gave him a skeptical look. “With you?” She demanded. 

Ram showed her his palms with a chuckle. “Look, I know I’m not always the best listener, but Rayla, if you need help with Runaan, Moon knows I’m the Silvergrove’s current reigning champion of father issues.”

She snorted. “You have no idea how high that bar is.”

Ram blinked at her and couldn't suppress a helpless chuckle. “I keep forgetting you've never actually met my father.  Believe me, Rayla, neither do you.”

“It’s okay to talk about things.” Ezran said sincerely with a look back over his shoulder at her.

“Yeah.  We’re friends now, right?  We’re here for you.” Callum agreed, smiling too.

Rayla looked between the three of them and her shoulders dropped. “Okay.  Thanks, guys.  It’s just . . . Runaan said he was wrong about me.  That I’m not ready for this, and he never should have brought me here.  An’ I just feel so betrayed.  I mean, he said he wasn’t lyin’, that he was just mistaken, but it still hurts, you know?  I trusted him and now he’s sayin’ I’m not ready for this after all because I made a mistake.”

Ah.  So Runaan had made his decision.  Ram winced a bit internally, realizing how difficult the decision must have been for her to hear. “Do you feel ready?” He asked her carefully. “Not for this, what we’re doing now, but to do what we came here to do?”

Rayla’s brows were furrowed when she looked back up at him and frowned. “I . . . I dunno.  It’s our duty, isn’t it?”

Ram bit his lip thoughtfully and sighed. “Let me put that to you a little differently.  You said you didn’t kill that guard in Katolis because he was afraid, and because he hadn’t done anything to you.  What has King Harrow ever done to you?”

Rayla and Ezran both flinched, and Callum stiffened, and he felt a bit bad for hurting the boys that way, but Rayla really needed to understand this point.  He reached out to put a hand on Callum’s shoulder and gave it an apologetic squeeze when the older prince looked at him.  Callum nodded a little after meeting his gaze.

After a moment of visibly battling with the situation, looking down at Ezran, Rayla squared her shoulders. “He killed the Dragon King.”

“That’s what he did to the dragons,” Ram said patiently. “What did he ever do to you?” She looked at him in confusion. “What makes him any different than that - as far as we know - innocent guard?”

Rayla frowned. “The guard wasn’t our target.  He didn’t do anythin’ to us.”

“Neither did the king.” Ram said bluntly. “Rayla, you’re insisting on being ready for some sort of duty, but duty to whom?” He asked. “To our people?  To the dragons?  What happened to the Dragon King isn’t a shared wound, Rayla.  This is something that’s happened to the dragons, and a vengeance they called for.  Runaan always says we don’t judge, we just take.  We kill, but we don’t make the decisions.  That’s because the moment we start making our own judgments it becomes clear that this isn’t vengeance for us - we’re just being used.  We are nothing but tools for the dragons and the Sunfire royalty, and they don’t give a shit about us.” His frustration spilled out with the words and he grimaced as he cut himself off, glancing away to avoid the judgment in the humans’ eyes.

Snow crunched under their feet in the pause before Rayla challenged him, voice shaking ever so slightly. “You were the one who said there was no justice as long as the king lived.” She pointed out. “What changed your mind?”

Thinking over how to say it, mindful that Ezran and Callum were right there but unsure how to address it honestly, Ram sighed. “Nothing.” He admitted. “A life for a life is a form of justice.  That’s how I live with what I’ve done.  Everyone makes these choices, to cope with the damage we do and the lives we take.  But . . . maybe justice isn’t always what the world truly needs.  Sometimes it does more harm than good.  Justice isn’t our duty any more than freedom, or honor, or truth, or the abstract of Xadia, Rayla.  Our ‘duty’ as assassins is to serve the dragons and Sunfire Empire, to keep them happy, and right now, saving this egg may be the most important thing anyone has ever done for that.  If you are driven by duty, Rayla, you need to understand who it is that you’re serving - and why.”

“Maybe your dad was just trying to protect you.” Ezran said, and Ram looked over at him, startled, and saw the boy’s eyes fixed on the snow in front of his feet, his little shoulders hunched. “From having to grow up too fast.”

Callum nodded with a sympathetic look back at Rayla. “Sounds like he’s just trying to keep you safe.”

When Ram looked back at her, Rayla’s eyes had dropped to the snow again, but her tight shoulders were a little looser. “Givin’ me the time and space to . . . figure that out.” She gestured vaguely to Ram, and he assumed she meant who she was serving, who her duty was for. “Thanks, guys.  That . . . that does make me feel a bit better about it all.” She smiled tiredly when she looked up at each of them.

“Good,” Ram said, eyes flicking towards their path. “Because the town is literally right there, and we should probably stop talking about assassins before we go in.”

His attempt at humor successfully made both teenagers and the little boy snicker or giggle, respectively, and he smiled as kindly as he could manage at them all.  He slung an arm around Rayla’s shoulders in a brief hug.  She bopped him in the shoulder with the sides of her horns, affectionately, and they both straightened up.  

Callum and Ezran had been exchanging glances and Ram heard a vague whisper he couldn’t make out, hidden behind the boys’ hands to each other, and narrowed his eyes.

“So, do you guys have snowball fights in Xadia?” Callum asked innocently.

“Snowball fights?” Rayla echoed in conclusion.

“Sometimes,” Ram said warily. “We don’t really get enough snow in the forest often, only a few times a year, but up north -” a ball of snow hit him squarely in the shoulder and blew into powder, and he sputtered, looking over at where Ezran had edged off to when his brother started talking.

Rayla blinked. “What?”

Another snowball hit her in the chest from Callum’s direction, both human princes grinning wildly at them, and Rayla sputtered too in shock. “You little-” She broke off and quickly bent down to pack snow into her own ball to throw back.

The responsible part of Ram wanted to head this off before it got too far.  Ezran hit him again in the side of his hood with a snowball and that part was quickly overtaken by a desire to win.  He spat the powder out of his mouth and rolled a snowball of his own, whirling around to throw it at the young boy.

Ezran successfully dodged it and stuck his tongue out, and Ram’s jaw dropped at the audacity as he lunged to make another snowball.  Nearby, Callum yelped and then cackled as Rayla managed to hit him with one.  The two isolated snowball fights quickly devolved into a melee of all four of them trying to strike each other with hastily packed balls of snow.

“How are you not hittin’ anyone?” Rayla taunted Ram. “You literally use throwing knives!”

“My knives are balanced!” Ram protested defensively, rolling a much larger than usual snowball with full intent of dropping it on her head. 

“My knives are balanced,” She mocked, throwing another snowball that he narrowly managed to duck. “Sounds like you’re just a bad shot.”

He took great satisfaction in the snowball that Callum quickly planted directly between her shoulder blades, making her yelp. “Am I?” He challenged smugly, and winked at Ezran.  The boy grinned back with as much evil as he’d ever seen on that young face, and also pelted Rayla with a snowball that had her dodging under a nearby tree.

Ram threw his massive snowball and she ducked and cackled at him when it missed. “Missed me again!”

“Wait for it,” He replied, grinning broadly, and her eyes widened comically just before the snow fell from the branches above her and completely covered her in snow.

“Ack!” She squealed and darted out from under the tree, completely covered in white powder, as Ram doubled over laughing.

He too yelped only a moment later as Callum nailed him directly in the neck with a snowball, the snow hitting his skin.  His bouncing away from the impact brought him directly into Rayla and they both fell down into the soft snow, wheezing.  The two human boys soon flopped down next to him as they all stopped to catch their breath.

He wasn’t sure when he’d last had that much pure, childish fun.

Rayla perked up next to him when she sat up. “Look!  There’s a snow elf!” She chirped, pointing out the hornless snow statue of a person near where their snowball fight had finally ended.

“It’s a snowman,” Callum corrected with a laugh. “You’re going to have to stop talking like that or you’re going to get us caught.”

“No problem.” Rayla said brightly, standing up and sweeping her cloak around herself theatrically. “I’ve got it all covered.  Get ready for Human Rayla!  Once I pair this disguise with my perfect human impression, the illusion’ll be complete!”

Stifling his own laughter, Ram sat up too and put his chin on his hand, grinning, to watch her. “Oh, I can’t wait.  This will be hilarious.” He drawled.

“You’ve never even seen my human impression, don’t be ridiculous,” Rayla sniffed.

“No, but I’ve seen Runaan’s, and I know where you learned it,” Ram grinned. “Do go on, show us human Rayla then.”

“Oh boy.” Callum sighed skeptically, but Ezran was practically vibrating, and he clapped from his seat as they waited for the performance.

Rayla took a moment to compose herself and then turned to face them with a neutral, friendly expression. “Greetin’s, fella humans!  Human fellas!  I sure do like hangin’ out with other humans, and talkin’ about things like money!” She slung an arm over Callum’s shoulders. “And startin’ wars.”

Ezran shrugged. “That’s pretty good, actually.”

Ram buried his face in his hands to hide his resigned laughter.  Moon above, she was truly her father’s daughter. “You might want to leave the word ‘human’ out more,” He suggested. “Otherwise, eh, yeah, that’s about how Runaan does it.”

She beamed. “Told ye I had it!  High four!” She clapped Ezran’s hand. 

“Just remember, no touching anyone else with that false finger,” Ram reminded her, snickering as he finally stood up and dusted himself off. “Let’s go.”