"You have to go back to the beginning to understand the end."
Meredith finally left. She's in Boston.
She's in Boston, I'm in therapy.
For so long she was in the same place, itching to leave. She knew her location didn't fit anymore. It held too many bad memories, it had for years. She was stuck in the familiarity of trauma, built a life around it. Mostly made it work.
Allison and I used to watch Grey's together, it's how our relationship began. We spent every Thursday night at her house. Sometimes I would leave school early just to get there sooner--hours before the actual show. Eventually we figured out that we were more than friends, that we were in love. Took us two full seasons--a grueling and beautiful slow burn.
The relationship only lasted about 8 months, but it was everything to me. I thought I had found my person. I begged her to "pick me, choose me, love me" and she didn't. She chose someone else. We were young. I don't blame her anymore.
I've been in emotional rerun mode for years. I have known for a long time that this place doesn't fit me. And so I'm leaving. Moving on to something new, like Dr. Grey.
19 seasons is long enough.
It took you leaving to help me do this. I know that was hard for you and I'm infinitely proud and grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Do you know what Mer's final episode was called?