#hot headed

Sometimes it's hard to hold a conversation with my dad. Maybe that's my fault. I get paranoid he's not listening sometimes, and then I snap at him. I always feel bad afterwards, but I always inevitably end up yelling. I get mad or paranoid when I think he isn't answering. I get upset when I think his answers are overly simplistic. I can even get mad if he says a thing wrong, because my insecurities take it as a sign I was ignored. Maybe it's my dad's fault. He is easily distracted sometimes, and his work hours can leave him sleepy. Plus, I do tell him a lot of stuff. And he isn't always the best speaker. So maybe it's both of us. Or maybe I should just try to learn to stop blaming myself, since all that ends up happening here is that I wind up over thinking and feeling guilty over everything. But i can't help it. I know it's wrong to snap at my dad (someone i'm dependent upon, and who's basically my only friend), but I have a problem with paranoia and easy anger, so it's really hard to control myself.