#horizontal tango

9x10 - One Last Con

“What are you saying?”

WHAT DO YOU MEAN A DIFFERENT TYPE OF DANCE?!?!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN A TANGO FOR TWO!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN A MORE AGGRESSIVE ONE!?!????!

AGGRESSIVE!?!??

AN AGGRESSIVE TANGO FOR TWO!?!?

DIRTY MIND DOWN BAD GRAYSON CANNON!?!??

Lmao that is something Lance would definitely say

Life, The Universe, And Everything

https://hydratrashmeme.dreamwidth.org/1634.html?thread=3313762#cmt3313762

prompt: The sex is just never going to be okay (but Bucky sort of is)

So, Bucky had gotten free of Hydra. And he's doing well, and he started something with Steve.

But the soon find out the sex is well...just always going to be an issue. And they try everything from just frottage to really gentle lovemaking to BDSM stuff - but fact is, it's just always going to be a risk where Bucky might get triggered, or get flashbacks, or suddenly feel constricted or disgusted and push Steve off. Maybe they do really absurd things, too, like Steve dressing up as Heidi to seem less threatening (it's just an example, and if you don't like cross-dressing I'm fine with other things) - but to no avail.

It might be okay for once, or a little while, but it's hit-or-miss, there is no magic fix, and it's something they'll have to deal with. no magic therapy fixes either.

But the thing I want is for Bucky to well, be Bucky. For the rest he's pretty much 95% the charming, amicable, smiling, curious-about-science guy he was. He's a lot of fun on a date or even a night with friends. Sure maybe there's some other ptsd going on, but it's not life-consuming. He's not brainwashed or conditioned, it's just that the rape trauma was so vast and spanning so much time, so his body and mind go "nope"  when sex would occur.

He's acutely aware of it, frustrated by it, maybe even self-deprecating. I'm sort of interested in the contrast between his original personality and rape trauma.  And really Steve's reactions, and trying think #105 in bed they know won't work but they want to try anyway.

First lines:

It was started out fine.  Actually it started out as a relief after an awkward dinner date.  Steve had taken Bucky to what Pepper had assured Steve was an excellent First Date restaurant, which turned out to be too fancy for the both of them.  Finally, Bucky folded up his napkin halfway through the second course and said, "Steve, let's go.  I'm not a gal that you need to treat, we haven't made small talk with each other since we were 10, and we already live in the same apartment.  Let's do something else tonight."  Then he cracked a seductive smile that made Steve all too happy to comply.