#holdingp

Im leaving the bathroom, frustrated tears blurring my vision. I need to pee so, so bad, why couldnt I just make it happen, maybe one more minute and I could have...!

oh. oh, fuck. I stumble and you catch me. Im shaking. wait, turn around, I say. wait, wait, do you have tissues or something it's coming out

I squeeze the wad of tissues to the front of my shorts and you have to hold me up, my legs have gone weak, Im biting my lip and my face is burning. the bathroom line still stretches long, and there are people milling all around us-- and Im pissing myself. I cant stop it. I just came out of the bathroom but Im pissing myself in front of everyone, and it goes on and on and on.

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at 3:06 i have to pretend like im getting off the bus, lock the door behind me, and walk laps around the yard before coming back in and unlocking the door to get to the bathroom.

so I was bouncing and squirming and teetering back and forth I was crossing my legs so hard, and I felt my bladder drop

drop so hard it knocked the wind right out of me

and a rush of heat at my crotch and I was like oh fuck, this is it, yep

I grabbed bunch of paper towels and clutched them against myself (spurting constantly now, just, pssh, pssh, psssssss), and skidded to the bathroom, bent in half over myself. didnt bother with the toilet because I wasnt going to make it, jumped in the shower and hit the water on to cover the sound (got sprayed a little which at that point sure whatever Im wet anyway) and then collapsed against the shower wall as allllllllllllll of everything that was left thundered out of me

my knees were shaking and I was gasping for breath, shorts soaked all the way up to the waist and everything throbbing