Aug 17, 2024
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Shoutout to the neurodivergent, disabled, and traumatised folks who have to deal with normie bullshit every day, who get patronised, pitied, victimised, and belittled; who get treated as though they were an exotic freak or weak and broken and need to be "fixed", who feel the full force of the all-encompassing ableism of society whenever they meet someone, interact with someone, or explain their neurotype/disability/trauma; who have a hard time finding support because they can't jump through the humiliating hoops that the system put up to decide who is "worthy of help", who are forced to accept being diagnosed and being described as not enough and helpless in order to get their basic needs met; who are brushed off as too needy, too demanding, too difficult, not-cooperative, resistant, and framed as crazy and self-sabotaging, who are infantilised/animalised/objectified and treated as though they didn't know what was good for them, when they stand up for themselves and refuse to be happy and grateful for all of this abuse.
Deep Waters
I ride these waves, surfing through emotionsâ tide,
Caught in the undertow, canât escape, canât hide
Empathyâs my sword, double-edged and sharp.
Cutting through the bull, leaving my mark.
Weight of the world, heavy crown in my dome,
Like Atlas with the glove, feeling so alone.
Mirror to the pain, reflection on the wall,
Glass is shattered, canât see it all.
I vibe with the frequency of a silent song,
Searching for a space, somewhere I belong.
Satellite drifting, orbiting the crown,
Trying to catch light in a world too loud.
Van Gogh with da vision, painting with sound,
But the colors drips, hitting the ground.
Beautiful chaos, in the brushstrokesâ sway,
Art, from pain, but Iâm losing my way.
People wonder why Iâm solo, no live in sight,
But how can I vibe with a head in the sky?
A partner so lost in the clouds, while Iâm deep in the sea,
Maybe itâs for the better, let it be.
I wrestle with silence, shadowboxing my thoughts,
The echoes in my head, tying all the knots.
High sensitivity, like a lightning rod,
Drawing the storm, dancing with God.
As night falls, I bow out of sight,
Searching for peace in the shadows of the night.
No applause, just the darkness closing in,
In this lifeâs stage, where do I begin?
No happy endings, just another day,
A soul wandering, trying to find its way.
Drowning in the waves, struggling to keep,
Lost in emotions, in the oceanâs deep.
washed my hair w a good-smelling shampoo
pros: it now smells good
cons: it now SMELLS
Saturday blues
I admire peopleâs ability to still have fun with each other when a party/festival kind of sucks.
I admit I knew what I was signing up for. I knew that there would be music I would rather not listen to. I didnât go because I wanted to, I went because I knew it would make the person which I was going to be with that evening happy, and people we know were also going. So yeah, the possibility of having fun was still there.
Did have a few laughs, but I guess eventually I just couldnât find my vibe or just be like âfuck itâ & dance/sing to this music. It felt really stuck. Wanting to have fun & enjoy this stupid thing, but having a mind/soul/body that isnât cooperating.
I wanted to have fun so badly, but eventually I just felt like a burden to the people who still tried a bit to get me to have fun too &/or asked what I would rather do from time to time.
Even to that last question my brain couldnât find an answer. I didnât know what I would rather do. Yes, I personally was not having fun and it felt like I didnât make it easier for others to completely have fun as well. I just didnât want to take someone away from their friends & where we were to do something else because lill miss grumpert over here wasnât having a lovely time. But it would really feel selfish to say that I didnât want to go home either. It felt like I was too much and even too less at the same time.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
me on not migraine days: đ¤ˇââď¸
me on migraine days: I can smell this not burning scented candle from the other side of the room (derogatory, painful)
HIGHSENSITIV.
Unglaublich, wielange ich jetzt darĂźber nachgedacht habe, dieses Thema hier so offenzulegen & mich gleichzeitig so âverletzbarâ zu machen.
In den letzten Jahren dachte ich immer wieder ich sei einfach eine extremere Form eines Overthinkers.
Ich sei einfach zu nah am Wasser gebaut, zu laut, zu hart, zu sanft, zu leise, zu bestimmt, zu unsicher, zu traurig, zu glĂźcklich.
Von allem, einfach viel zu viel.
Meine GefĂźhlswelt war schon im Kindesalter extrem intensiv.
FĂźr manche war ich vielleicht sogar als Mensch zu intensiv.
Jetzt weiss ich aber, das ich HIGHSENSITIV, also hochsensibel bin.
Lange nahm ich an, es sei etwas sehr Negatives so viel & so intensiv zu fĂźhlen.. oft ist es einfach auch sehr anstrengend die Umwelt auf so vielen Ebenen & ohne jegliche Filter wahrzunehmen.
Heute sehe ich die Ganze Sache jedoch mit ganz anderen Augen & fßhle mich so, als ob ich eine Superkraft hätte.
Es ist wundervoll alles so intensiv zu spĂźren..
Klänge, Dßfte, Farben, Gefßhle, Temperaturen so pur wahrzunehmen, ist ein wahres Geschenk welches ich jedoch zuerst als solches annehmen musste.
Wie so oft im Leben kommt es immer einfach nur darauf an, was man aus der Situation macht.
Ich mache einfach nur das Beste daraus & versuche aus dieser Superkraft wundervolles zu schĂśpfen. âĽ
Some people just love more deeply than others,
It's a tragedy,
But also a saint
- Vae '22