#hellblazer headcannons

Aftercare

At first John isn’t really an aftercare sort of guy, but keep in mind relationships weren’t exactly his thing either. Give him some time to adjust to the new norm and he will help and care for you however you need afterwards

Body Part

Of course it would be something lewd, your ass or tits, or dick, or whatever else you may have since he’s pan (because of nonhuman sex), but once he really accepts his feelings for you it will become your eyes. He loves the story they tell him, especially during sex (or your mouth for si militar reasons)

Cum

It doesn’t matter how sweet you may make this man, he will always want to come on you be it your thighs or your stomach or your face. He loves seeing you all marked up as his and what better way to prove you’re his. (Might have minor fears about you becoming pregnant too if you’re a gal)

Dirty Secret

Loves when you take control. Won’t openly admit it but if you ever pin him down and initiate it all from the beginning, will happily go along without protest. But you gotta know how to jump him properly

Experience

John has a lot of experience, with pretty much everything, lol. He doesn’t stop his sexual desires at humans, whatever he finds attractive no matter the species he will try to seduce and has succeeded. Don’t feel jealous though, you’re the only one he remotely cares about

Favorite Position

Idk the proper term for this position so hear me out! Doggy style, but where the bottom partner is sat us allowing more use for hands. Almost like sitting in his lap, but with your back turned towards him. It’s really erotic for him and if he manages to see the two of you like that that’s just a bonus

Goofy

At first wouldn’t likely be very goofy, I mean this guy deals with a lot and is likely just looking for a way to take the edge off. However, will relax more overtime and may crack more than just a smile during intimate times the more comfortable he gets with it

Hair

The carpets match the drapes if that’s your biggest concern, but other than that can very. He’s a busy guy who at times doesn’t care about his health/appearance in that sort of way so it may be an unruly mess down there. On occasion he may clean up, but that’s rare

Intimacy

Likely won’t be that intimate, that sort of thing may scare him. Commitment isn’t really his thing, but obviously he’s trying, he’s with you, but don’t go pushing too far too soon as it may stress him out

Jerk Off

Has no problem jerking off, you away or not. He’ll do a half pout if you’re away because he knows he has something better, but he loves jerking off when you watch him. He loves the look you give him and loves how the sight drives you crazy for him

Kink

John may like to see you tied up, in one if those fancy positions with fancy knots you definitely have to look up online to learn. Likes to have you restrained and at his mercy, likes being able tot ale his time with you and do as he pleases

Location

It’s going to sound boring but the bed. His wild life, almost dying, getting the crap kicked out of him, the usual, he likes nothing more than to unwind and allow his body to finally relax in a comfortable place. He’s no stranger to doing it other places, but his sore body needs a break

Motivation

Whenever he’s in the mood of course is his motivation, but aside from that early mornings where he wakes up before you and all is peaceful for once. Since he’s not good at talking about the softer sides of his emotions, lazy morning sex is his go to to show you how he cares about you

Oral

Loves to give and receive. Loves to give a little more solely because he loves to tease and loves to watch you squirm. Now he gets to have/see both easily so be prepared for all the edging

Pace

Likes to take his time with you believe it or not. It allows him to relax and not worry and just enjoy, not have to worry about killing or banishing or any of that. Goes back to giving his body a break in a pleasurable way

Quickie

Will indulge in a quickie when the two of you don’t have time of course. But will also indulge in a quickie after a successful job because the guy is high on adrenaline and needs a release

Risk

Won’t take much of a risk. He takes enough of a risk with the job he’s in, he’s just like a break for once goddammit. He doesn’t need another thing to possibly worry about

Stamina

John has pretty good stamina for a man his age and in his health. It’s more like he’s got good patience and will use all the foreplay to help, but ain’t no two pump chump either. Round two may be a no go most days though

Toys

Will happily use toys on you or himself, it adds to everything and it’s always a great way to add to the foreplay or the experience in general. Will call you a naughty girl/boy/preferred pronoun if you buy something without his knowledge

Unfair

John is there biggest tease there is so expect long hours of foreplay. It’s not even that he likes the teasing you part, he just likes the reactions. For all he cares you could cum multiple times, but as long as you keep squirming the way you do he’ll be satisfied

Volume

Pretty medium. He won’t get all that loud until he cums, but he’s not quiet either. More heavy grunts than anything else, may purr your name for effects depending where you are in the whole event

Wildcard

Threesomes! May ask for a threesome but don’t expect it to be your gender, or even your species for all that matter. It’ll be much more of a surprising question than you first thought

XRay

John is a pretty average man. His balls may hang a little lower than most but keep in mind he’s got some bad habits and that has taken an effect on his body. But nothing that’ll slow him down any

Yearning

Likely won’t yearn for you at first, likely won’t even be in your thoughts at first. It’s not this thing, remember. However, over time will catch himself missing you and at first be disgusted/annoyed at himself, before giving up and accepting the new feelings

Zzz