#hell spawn

Need hellspawn’s spawn (Karlach and Astarion’s kid) drabbles…

They got a head full of curls, and they REFUSE to sit still whenever Astarion tries to tame their hair. Astarion has now mastered grease spells because lord knows his wallet could not take it. Of course, he had to spend a lot of time (read: harass Gale) over specific hair-care spells, but their child still has messy hair 24/7. Mostly because while they got Astarion’s curls, they inherited Karlach’s energy. Which means that the cute little outfits Astarion plans out, the hours Astarion puts into their hair with little charms and cute accessories - their child comes back VERY disheveled from playing. Astarion just sighs and mourns the lost of the really cute hair pins he bought just for their child, only for their child to come home with half their hair out of the style, and three pins missing.

Karlach does not help, as she will also go play in the mud with their kid and lose her own hair pins Astarion absent-mindedly braids into her hair. They basically become the meme.

Of course, if you EVER try to say “wow Astarion your wife is so un-ladylike” or “your kid is so messy,” Astarion will bitch slap you so fucking hard. He loves his messy family thank you very much and only he can shake his head in fond exasperation.

Karlach loves to tease Astarion, and will pull him into a mudfight even if Astarion shrieks about “No, that’s my hair!!!” And “Darling I just bought these boots!!!” Part of her whole spiel is seeing how much she can lovingly raise Astarion’s blood pressure, because she thinks he’s so stinking CUTE when he’s squealing after an overly dramatically wet kiss on the cheek (the same way their kid does when Karlach does it to them). She lowkey wants to just gnaw on him because she loves her prissy, pointy, and fangy husband. And Astarion loves his messy, muddy, and energetic wife.

And they both love their chaotic gremlin child who manages to get footprints on the ceiling and made four baby sitters quit, and is the current reason why Gale has more gray hairs in his beard and why Astarion pays him quite generously out of pity for babysitting. Astarion actually loves that their kid takes after their mom, because his life is all full of sunshine and rainbows because of their excited energy. Karlach is so happy that at least they take after their dad, and can be teased just as much.

I've been seeing a lot of this kind of content lately. I read about people harming themselves or even worse, other people, for the sake of Spawn's blessing 😭🙏 like dudes Spawn from roblox will not bless you, but rather the developers of forsaken will "cancel" TwoTime.

That's really insane and in some ways it reminds me of the blue whale (2015 child🫠)