#hawksfictive

I havent even been up here long but everything of the lov makes me feel awful & sad. I feel as numb and depressed as I used to, but whats the point in keeping a friendly face up with people who know whats behind it?

all Ive remembered has been nothing good. just boatloads of mistreatment and roles I hate to play only for them to drag me back and be so awkward about it.

I know you cant tell how to handle me when Im not acting light. I can tell, even if you try to fake it away. I know you dont know how to feel about the automatic ways I tuck myself away. I know the only person whod know hates the thought of this. He hates me. not necessarily because Im a pawn, but because Im practically his damn mirror.

I hate this. I wish I was anyone else. I miss you. I miss you all so badly -Kite (aka, for tags: hawks/keigo takami, bnha, fictive) #🎭🔮