#having enough

So when they measured it by omers, he who gathered much had nothing left over, and he who gathered little had no lack. Every man had gathered according to each one’s need. Exodus 16:18 The desire to have more and more is the focus of most people. In the mind of many, there is no such thing as having too much, falling into extreme greed or pride. For some it is about having more things, while…

Well, I did count my things with tags still attached, and the number was 19 to 25 depending on how you count it.

As of this morning, I had 11 articles of clothing I hadn’t worn, 12 if you count a pair of Acne jeans I bought on Poshmark but haven’t worn, 13 if you count an unworn Lana Del Rey concert tee. By this evening, that number was 9, firstly because I wore a pair of leggings I didn’t even realize I had never worn and secondly because a sewn-on tag literally became unstitched and caused the tags to fall off on a cashmere sweater I was trying on to confirm I should return - I would’ve only gotten store credit, and now I will get nothing at all.

In terms of shoes there are 7 unworn pairs, 8 if you count those stupid Gucci loafers I’m trying to sell, 9 if you count a pair of new-without-box sneakers I bought on eBay to replace mine when they eventually wear out. I indisputably have three sets of Gorjana rings that have never graced my fingers.

This means I have more shit I’ve never worn than some people own, period. This does not make me feel like a contributing member of society. 

An excellent exercise would be to add up what all of these things cost me, but to be honest I have no desire to do that. I *do* desire to question my previous thinking about “stocking up” or “buying multiples.”

On one hand, finding something you like and buying a few of them makes sense - when you stain or damage or wear out one, you have a replacement ready, no agonized shopping for another or discovery that they discontinued your item, or changed the fabrication. On the other hand, who’s to say you’ll even still like the thing when yours wears out? Will you be the same size? Live in the same climate? Be alive at all? (Morbid, sorry, but also, never a guarantee!) 

Is the benefit of just *having* something you don’t use but think you will someday worth the literal and emotional cost of carrying around a sack of these things through life?

I think for me the answer is starting to become “no.” The worst thing that can happen if you don’t buy multiples of something is that you someday stop having that thing. And I’m not talking family heirlooms here, I’m talking jeans, or sneakers, or a t-shirt.