#haruki given

I re watched Given.

And it's like, it hits you the first time when you watch it. But even the second time, even when you're aware of what's coming, what's happening, you understand it, you smile and cry and laugh with it. But in the middle of the next fucking day I'd remember the scene where Sato's dad would abuse him and he shared that he doesn't speak because when he does his dad hits him. And then Yuki would report his dad and they would arrest his dad.

And Sato wouldn't be hurt anymore.

Fuck I'm gonna cry.

It's so painful.

He was his savior in a sense. They fucking grew up together. It's sad. It's really really really sad. It breaks my heart that it even happened.

Even when I'm aware what the show, the story is bringing me, it saddens me that such a thing happened.

I don't know why he did that. I really don't understand. Last time I wrote about it someone told me he offed himself because I was confused. Because all that was shown was that he drank a whole bottle of liquor.

So I wasn't sure why and what happened.

But fuck. It's devastating. It breaks my heart to imagine the pain Mafuyu went through.

The guilt, the pain. I just wanna sit next to him and, yeah, I just wanna sit next to him and give him company.

But yes, that's what I was talking about, even when I've seen this show. Even then, it still hits so deep. My heart gets all fragile and every emotion feels heightened.

I know the story and what it brings across. And it's really beautiful. One of the best. Everytime I hear Mafuyu sing, goosebumps.

And that kiss from Uenoyama. It's the most adorable thing I've witnessed.

So pure and so honest. Heat of the moment and just truth. It's super cute.

I love Uecchi. I love Sato. I love them both.

I love how Uenoyama looks up to Akihiko.

I love how when Ue comes out, or rather, is confused and questioning himself, and he tells it to Akihiko, and Akihiko goes, I've been with guys too, now what, you're gonna say I'm.... Something along those lines with that face he has.

It's cool. Really cool and really warm.

I love Haruki too. I wanna watch the movies, i haven't seen them yet.

But AAAAAAAAH THIS SHOW. It makes me feel so much y'all.

It's the middle of the fucking night and I'm almost sobbing because IT HURTS to imagine what Mafuyu went through.

Ah fuck.

Goodnight.

I hope Ue and Mafuyu always live happily. They deserve all the warmth and love.

Also ending on the note that when Uenoyama realised that it's mutual and he just stared in space feeling happy that IT'S MUTUAL.

Hehe, super cute.

And also the fact that they went and told their bandmates first. Super loyal? Thoughtful? Really good integrity? I love people who value their team, so I loved that a lot.

So yep

Goodnight y'all.

The strings of my heart are strumming and mannnnnn I'm feeling all kinda feelings.

we know that when the band was just uenoyama, haru and kaji the band was named "the seasons" because they all have the kanjis for the seasons in their names, but here's the breakdown :

uenoyama : 立夏 (rikka - given name) meaning first day of summer

haruki : 中山 (haruki) ; 中 (haru) meaning spring

kaji : 秋彦 (akihiko) ; 秋 (aki) meaning autumn

they could've kept "the seasons" with the inclusion of mafuyu, too, since

真冬 (mafuyu) -> 真 (ma) - true ; 冬 (fuyu) - winter

but did you also know that pain is endless 🥲 because

although yuki's name uses the kanji 由紀 (yu - reason, cause ; ki - chronicle) it is also a homophone for 雪 (yuuki - snow)

so

"just like the snow in the shade that hasn't completely melted, i continue on with these feelings inside me" (first line of fuyunohanashi / a winter story / mafuyu's song)

winter can exist without the snow but snow can't exist without winter ദ്ദി ꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ )

I've been watching given and it might be one of my favourite animes ever. i think my favourite character is Haruki, i relate to him a lot and he's so beautiful!!! the gender envy he gives me is so bad that i decided i'm going to not cut my hair. i literally dreamt that i looked like him omg what.

So, when I'm watching Given, please don't disturb me