#hankalan

propaganda:

[Image ID: A black and white ad in a magazine from the 1990s. In the top left corner, there is a logo showing a stylized relationship chart. Its label has been edited to read "DC is gay and problematic network". The spacing on the editing is awkward and doesn't quite fit right. In the top right corner is the headline, reading: "Won't you join us?" The main text has been obviously edited with a different font and unnatural spaces. It reads:

Does the idea of caring about comic characters appeal to you?

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If you answered "yes" to most or all of these questions, check us out! The DC is gay and problematic is a group committed to the idea of multi-adult, sexual/loving relationships. We are swingers, we endorse problematic content. (Edited from original text denying being swingers.) Our network provides objectifying comic characters, rarepairs, and not giving a fuck about the morality of our fictional preferences for our membership. If this sounds good to you, please contact us for more information at: DC is gay and problematic, contact details below/.End ID]

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HankAlan:

when I started shipping it if I did: Literally from their first interaction, it's so funny, biggest meet uncute ever.

my thoughts: Hank probably deserves better and someone who is nice to him but I like Alan being weird about him so he should continue to do that.

What makes me happy about them: Spiciest dynamic ever.

What makes me sad about them: Alan getting canonically institutionalized is kind of horrible to think about in the context of Hank.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: Sometimes I (the main person writing them) doesn't write any of them for months and that is very annoying.

things I look for in fanfic: I feel like it doesn't get any fics not by me but it needs to be fucked up and horny.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: No DC has to make them canon immediately I want to see the fandom meltdown /j

My happily ever after for them: Alan learns to be nice! Yay!

who is the big spoon/little spoon: I feel like Alan would adamantly refuse to be the little spoon.

where they first met and how: Someone decided it was a good idea to pretend to be his dad and crash a JSA meeting. Big fight. Alan missed most of it due to being unconscious.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: Are we counting 'being an obsessed weirdo' as flirting? Like 5 years or maybe more.

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): Alan was definitely a big weirdo first while Hank was mostly like 'I hope Alan is not a big weirdo today' or drugged in the asylum Alan made especially for him.

where their first date was and what it was like: Hank does not even recognize it as a date, Alan is nice and brings him coffee and then does not immediately leave the room.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): It takes ages before Hank even realizes Alan is trying to date. I think it's only after Alan gets mad when other people flirt with him and it is NOT someone related to Alan that he figures out something's up.

who proposes first: Alan

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: Oh god it has to be a secret no one will like it.

if they adopt any pets together: I think they both have pets separately but moving in together is the problem.

who’s more dominant: Alan

where their first kiss was and what it was like: JSA Brownstone Closet Baby!

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): Hank probably has Green Lantern merch but it's so hard to find stuff that is actually Alan themed. Alan just would not.

how into pda they are: No.

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Hank but then Alan is like "I can just make a construct"

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): JSA Brownstone Closet Baby!

who’s more protective: I think Alan but he does not show it often.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): 90% of this relationship is sex. They are having sex before Hank knows it's romantic.

if they argue about anything: If there is not something to argue about Alan will go and FIND something to argue about.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Alan

who steals whose clothes and how often: This has to be Hank because he is the smaller one and I do not think Alan would steal his stuff without instantly complaining it's too tight.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Spooning

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: Feel like it's patrolling together or Alan watching Hank as he writes.

how long they stay mad at each other: I do not think Alan is capable of not being mad, conversely the literal only time I have seen Hank angry is "you literally planned on having me drugged in a torture asylum for the rest of my life" and even that might have been Mister Mind. Okay I think whatever's going on with Hank might actually be scarier than whatever's going on with Alan.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Alan: Black, no sugar, Hank: Milk and Sugar but maybe slightly too much sugar (he probably gets asked by the 4th teaspoon when he's gonna stop but doesn't make one of those tiktok syrup monstrosities)

if they ever have any children together: They should not but also I think Hank should be allowed to send Todd to his room.

if they have any special pet names for each other: Alan calls Hank 'Brat' but that's it

if they ever split up and / or get back together: I haven't considered this but they might have messy moments. Maybe.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): Clean, decorated with antiques (new when Alan bought them)

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: They did not spend it together due to not wanting the twins to know.

what their names are in each other’s phones: JSA might see it so Alan has to have him as Brainwave, Hank just uses 'Alan;

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): They end up being the guys doing JSA trick or treating handouts most years.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: I feel like Hank is an imsomnia boy and sometimes doesn't fall asleep at all.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Feel like Alan is the big spoon.

who hogs the bathroom: Alan