#grv

Let's back up a bit. How did Admin C get to this point?

It had started with the abduction of his Gordon by C's father.

"…I shall take your beloved Gordon as payment for the eons of pain you have caused me, Thomas. Consider it a mercy that I’ve allowed him to take your place." his father had said as he held Gordon.

And then both his father and Gordon had been gone, leaving them alone in that damnable void.

That had been a while ago. Now, he and his friends (were they even friends anymore? It hardly felt that way anymore) were fully immersed in their plan to jog their Gordon's memories under the guise of this therapy program. Admins F and P were currently working on building different parts of the spaceship and the Boss was.... somewhere. So, C was going through the various feeds they'd set up to find some universes that might have good candidates for their program. They'd already decided on the Mad Science Universe to start with, but they needed a few others to make this work. Maybe two or three. C had been at this for hours now and his vision was starting to grow blurry from lack of sleep.

His mind kept going back to Gordon. To the look on his face when C's father had taken him away. The way Gordon's eyes had gone so glassy and lifeless. Like all the life had just been sucked out of him. Tears welled up in his eyes at the memory. It was his fault. It was all his fault. Gordon would never have been on C's father's radar if he hadn't become friends with C. And now he was gone...

C quickly shook his head. No. He couldn't think that. They would get Gordon back, they would help him regain his memories, and everything would go back to normal. It would be fine. It would all be fine. He had to believe that. He had to keep believing that.

Not for the first time, he couldn't help but think that this would be so much easier if he only had someone to trade for Gordon. It was a terrible thing to think of and he knew it, but the idea of giving his father someone else was just so tempting. He didn't want to be his father's replacement, and he didn't want it to be Gordon either, which left only one option. Find someone else.

It was then that his eyes landed on one of the monitors. It was a variant of the Eternal Stream universe that had been eliminated from consideration due to not having a Gordon, but… it did have a Benrey. A Benrey who had lost his memories and would never meet his Gordon. A Benrey without a Science Team. A Benrey who would have no one looking for him.

The perfect candidate for a replacement for Gordon.

C paused, staring at the image of the Benrey on the screen, alone in the digital halls of Black Mesa. It would be so easy to extract the Benrey's data and give him a hard light body. They'd already figured out a system in order to extract any Gordons who might exist in a universe where their adventures were just a video game. Maybe it would even make the Benrey a better government man if he could retain the powers he had within the game. This one even had shapeshifting capablilities. C's father would probably love have a protege with that ability, right? It was just so perfect. It would solve so many problems.

C's stomach lurched as the gravity of what he was thinking of doing hit him. He was thinking of sacrificing an innocent man just to save the man he loved. The others would never agree to it. Gordon would never agree to it. If he ever found out about what C had done to get him back... C couldn't just stand by and let this happen, though. Sure, they could go with the therapy ship plan as is, but what if his father tracked them down and sabotaged it? What if it all went wrong and things just ended up worse? This was so much simpler. So much easier. It was practically a victimless crime! It wasn't like that Benrey was going to get rescued anyway. At least this way he'd get out of the computer.

Which brings us to the present, with Admin C in the storage unit where the Hansen parents had stored the computer that, unbeknownst to them, held their son's consciousness.

It was dark in the unit, and crowded with plenty of other objects that probably belonged to the unfortunate Benrey, which C tried to ignore as he hunted for the computer. If he started thinking about how this Benrey was a person with a past and a life, then it would make this infinitely harder. He swung his flashlight around, skimming over the piles of stuff until he finally saw it. The computer sat in the corner, monitor and PC tower clustered together. C took a deep breath and headed over.

"I'm so sorry about this," he murmured as he began to extract the Benrey.

He tried not to think about how much this Benrey looked like the Boss. There were subtle differences, as there were with all Benrey's, and C tried to focus on those, on how different this Benrey was. This wasn't his Benrey. This was a different Benrey. A Benrey he was going to have to sacrifice.

"Stop thinking about it," C muttered to himself, knocking the side of his head with the heel of his palm. He'd already gone too far to back out now. He had to get through this before someone caught him. Before the others noticed he was gone and started asking where he was.

Soon enough, the Benrey was laying on the floor of the storage unit in a hard light body. C took a deep breath pulled out his phone. He still had his father's number. He just had to hope his father would respond to the message.

I have an offer for you.

He sent the message off and waited, trying to look everywhere but at the comatose man on the floor in front of him.

To his relief, and surprise, after a few minutes he got a response.

What sort of offer?

C took a deep breath. Okay. His father had responded. That was a good sign. He might be able to pull this off.

Let's meet and I'll tell you.

There was another agonizing period of waiting before a new response came in.

I will meet with you and you alone.

C let out a sigh of relief.

Deal.

A few seconds later, a portal opened. C tried to swallow his fear, gathering the Benrey in his arms and stepping inside.

His father was waiting for him, Gordon at his side. C's heart ached at the dull, lifeless look in Gordon's eyes as he stood limply beside C's father. He looked like an inert marionette.

"Thomas..." His father said, his tone audibly smug. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"I... I want to make a trade," C said, hoping his voice wasn't shaking as badly as he thought it was.

"A trade?" His father echoed, curling his clawed fingers over Gordon's shoulder.

"I found this Benrey for you." C held up the Benrey. "He's from a universe where no one will come looking for him. You can have him if you give me Gordon back."

"And why would I want a new replacement when I already have this one?" His father asked with a laugh.

That had been exactly the response C had been afraid of, but he couldn't lose his nerve now. Not when he'd already gone to the trouble of stealing this Benrey.

"Because... Because I won't stop trying to get him back," he said, holding his father's gaze. "None of us will. We'll keep hounding you until we win. This way... No one will take your replacement away."

His father slowly looked C over, tapping his fingers on Gordon's shoulder. His smile was gone, replaced with a look of contemplation. Somehow, C found that even scarier than his father's self satisfied smirk. "Your little friends don't know you're here, do they?"

"Do you want him or not?" C demanded.

For an agonizingly long time, his father just stared at him. Then he smiled, the expression predatory and shark like.

“Very well,” he purred, reaching out to take the Benrey. “I accept your trade.”

“You… You do?” C couldn’t help but be surprised. He hadn’t actually expected his father to agree. He'd hoped, certainly, but he'd also known that this was a longshot.

His father paused, raising an eyebrow. “Would you prefer I refuse?”

“No!” C said quickly. “No. I just… didn’t think…”

“That I’d accept your proposal?” His father asked. “I wasn’t going to. But then I thought about it and I realized how exquisitely painful this will be for you.” He beckoned Gordon forward. “Now, every time you look at him, you’ll remember that you sacrificed an innocent man for him. And that he’d never forgive you if he knew.”

C swallowed, an uncomfortable lump in his throat as he placed the Benrey in his father's arms.

"Go with him," his father instructed Gordon, jerking his head in C's direction. Gordon nodded robotically, walking over to stand beside C.

His father took a step back, his eyes glowing as his smile widened. "A pleasure doing business with you, Thomas. May your dreams be haunted by what you've done."

C didn't reply, taking Gordon by the hand and heading back through the portal.

They came back out in the storage unit, at which point Gordon collapsed like a a puppet whose strings had been cut. C gathered him in his arms, opening a portal back to the ship. Thankfully, when he stepped out onto the ship, he could still hear P and F working away. He didn't want them to catch him with Gordon yet. Not when he hadn't had a chance to think up a cover story. They'd have questions about how he'd managed to get Gordon away from his father on his own. Questions he didn't know how to answer just yet.

He turned to head to the room they'd prepared for Gordon. Only to see the Boss standing there. C froze, his eyes locking with the Boss's. The Boss blinked, his own eyes going wide at the sight of Gordon's unconscious body in C's arms. He took a tenative step forward, reaching a shaking hand out.

"Is that…?" He began.

"It's him," C confirmed.

A choked sob escaped the Boss's lips as a smile spread across his face. "You actually…" He looked up at C. "How'd you do it? How'd you get him back?"

C went quiet, averting his gaze. Lying to P and F was one thing. But lying to the Boss? Lying to Benrey? That was something he couldn't do.

The Boss's smile quickly faded, his arm falling to his side. "...You did something bad to get him back, didn't you?"

C instinctively tensed, holding Gordon a bit tighter.

"You didn't… tell your dad you'd do it, did you?" The Boss kept his voice quiet, but there was a clear note of panic there.

"Of course not!" C said, shaking his head. "I would never leave you two!"

"Then what did you do?" If it had been anyone else asking, C might have felt defensive and lashed out. But there was no accusation in the Boss's voice.

C bit his lip, his gaze flicking to the ground. "I… found someone else," he admitted. "Someone to take Gordon's place. Someone who no one would come after."

The Boss didn't say anything. C was almost afraid to look at him, afraid of what he'd see on the Boss's face.

"I… I know it sounds bad, but… But I couldn't just let my dad take Gordon!" C held Gordon a bit tighter. "This way, he won't come after us! We can do the therapy ship plan and- and there's no way it'll get sabotaged!"

"You're sure your dad's not tricking you?" The Boss asked.

C nodded, his shoulders slumping slightly. "He said… He said now every time I look at Gordon, I'll remember I sacrificed an innocent man for him. And that Gordon would never forgive me if he knew. And that the… "exquisite pain" that would cause was enough for him."

The Boss let out a short exhale that might have been a laugh. "Sounds like him."

"Yeah…"

They lapsed into silence. C tried to focus on Gordon's breathing. On how even and calm it was. He had Gordon back. It would all be worth it when the jogged his memory and he came back to them.

It had to be.

"I won't tell anyone," The Boss finally said.

"You... You won't?" C asked slowly, finally lifting his gaze to meet the Boss's.

The Boss looked grimly determined. "I won't," he confirmed. "We can say we got him back together. I distracted your dad and you got him. We got lucky."

"…Thank you," C said. He was already tearing up again.

The Boss smiled slightly, reaching up to pat C's shoulder. "C'mon. Let's get him, like, tucked in and then we can go tell the others."

C nodded, following the Boss to the room they'd prepared for Gordon.

It was going to be okay. It was all going to be okay.

This had to be worth it.