#grunchtastic

Grunch found himself in a new town, this one was pretty nice, they had a temple with a pretty little bell tower and everything. Peddy tried to get Grunch’s attention but Grunch tried ignoring him while looking at every single thing that every single shop was selling in their market. Most of it was food, there was firewood and tools and jewelries and so on.

Grunch bought a pretty necklace and the stall lady put it on him and smiled and he went off to the next adventure, drawn to the temple, as it was in the very center of the town, possibly the first thing to have been built there. Peddy tried to physically prevent Grunch from entering the temple so Grunch picked him up and threw him into the road and marched on in.

The floors were all clean so he took off his muddy boots and he realized all his armor was muddy too so he took it all off and walked in. He had on a manly dress and tight pants and socks and undergarments and of course his helmet with a little deer made of sticks on top and they all stank like smelly man but Grunch didn’t notice because he was the smelly man.

The temple was full of relics and so on, some related to gods, some related to war, and all of them led to the front where a figure sat in a veiled cushioned area and stared directly at Grunch. Nothing was discernible about them. “Um.” Grunch said, “Hello.”

The figure beckoned him and he approached. Sir Peddy opened the door gingerly and hesitated to intervene. Grunch stood in front of the figure and stared at them. He still couldn’t tell anything about them. They sucked on a pipe and exhaled, blowing white smoke through the veil. It almost reached Grunch. It smelled like earth and burning flowers.

Their voice was rough, even though obviously young, “Hello deer sir. Your future is uncertain. It is obscured by a great veil. Your strings of fate are all unraveled. But I can guide you by what has happened. You are good. Be good as you are, be you as you are. Do not change for shiny men nor bandits. You don’t need knights nor thieves nor women, you want friends. Good luck.”

“Um.” Grunch said. And Peddy came up behind him, “That can’t be right, what would he possibly do on his own? He doesn't have any skills anymore, can’t even fight for himself. He’s an idiot!”

The figure put their hand up and stopped him and said, “Sir Peddy, Knight of Grand Brythonnia, impatience and stubbornness will be the death of you. Begone from here,” the figure turned to face away from them, the jewelry covering them all jangled and clinked together. They laid down on their pillows and stayed still and supposedly slept. 

Grunch felt uplifted and had a good new spring in his march as he walked to the door to put back on his armor. Sir Peddy of Grand Brythonnia stood frozen before an oracle who he believed had just told him he was certain to die by his own flaws. This was an element of his stubbornness because oracles can also use figures of speech.

Chapter 9

Grunch took a nap in the woods on his way to the next place because he was terribly full and he realized it was actually making him quite sick being full and on horseback. He slept easy with the little deer made of sticks on his head.

He awoke in the morning to a fuzzy face. It looked like a fox, it had antlers on its head, it said, “Who are you?” It had a funny accent due to its wide fox mouth. Grunch answered the obvious answer, “Grunch,” and he sat up only to feel a spear against his chest, “Um.” He said.

“You have invaded our forest. Why? Where did you get the effigy?” The fuzzy creature pointed to his dent, where the little deer stood proudly. Grunch answered, “Well, it was left with me after I killed a deer and cried real lots. I don’t wanna kill deers, Sir Patty made me and he made me eat the fellow after but I don’t want to eat meats.”

“We all need meat, boy, what is wrong with you? Do you deny your nature? Or are you a coward?” Grunch thought about it and said, “I think I’m a coward, deer sir. I don’t like meats and I don’t like killing, but I was told I need meats to live so I guess I’ll eat them then.”

“Where is your friend? Surely you cannot survive alone. You are useless in the head.” Grunch frowned because that was a very mean thing to say and he said, “I left him because he was mean, and maybe I think I should leave you too.” The spear at his chest complicated this. The beast said, “Perhaps you should. I have taken your horse. If you are found in the woods without any flesh to offer, it will be yours that we take. Remember this boy. You may keep your effigy this time, it was meant for you.”

The beast man retreated slightly, the spear was removed from Grunch’s chest and they said their goodbyes. The horse was already gone. The antlered fox had hands like a fuzzier rat with human thumbs and it wore animal hides all over it like a man. It called out, “And boy, do not tarnish our lands. Or we will take more than just flesh.” It walked backwards into the thick foliage of the forest, leaving Grunch alone again.

He stood up and began to walk down the road he had stopped on. He was glad he didn’t like that horse but he really wished he had a horse again. It was much nicer to ride than to just walk all his way to the next town. He thought about the beast man and what the hell he might have been.

He then heard a horse galloping up behind him and a man frantically shouting and hollering. And as the man got closer Grunch recognized him and the things he was saying. He said, “GRUNCH FELLOW!!! I FOUND YOU OLD FELLOW!!! YOU’RE HERE!!! THANK THE GODS I’M SAVED!!!”

Grunch just stood there while the fellow rode up to meet him. He said, “Um. Hello. An oracle told me I don’t need to be friends with you.” Dumay looked betrayed, “Grunch! Truly, fellow!? I’m sorry for putting you up against that guard fellow, I thought you would pummel him, truly fellow.”

Hello all, this is the author’s parents speaking. The author, who will henceforth go by Grunch, was tragically struck by a fast-moving watercraft while partying on the beach yesterday. Unfortunately, there will never be new chapter of Grunch by Grunch the real. I’m sorry to everyone who read and enjoyed the series so far but our sweet non-binary has passed on to the next life.

Grunch’s sibling, who will henceforth be called Grunch II, has decided to take up the mantle of finishing Grunch to completion. 

-Grunch family

hi, I’m Grunch II, I gotta be honest with you, I do not know what in god’s name Grunch is supposed to be about. My sibling left behind about 40,000-100,000 words worth of notes all stored in several google docs. They’re surprisingly well organized, but still very nonsensical. I read through most of it and I think I have the jist of the story.

First of all, Grunch dies, one day early, because apparently “nobody’s gonna predicts[sic] this, breuh [sic]” and this will actually result in Dumay causing the real ‘End Times’ as revenge against the world. It doesn’t say why.

Eventually Dumay finds a 75 year old woman named Shiela “who is described as the ultimate bbw” whatever that means. Shiela actually kills both Gasga and Giscon in the “Visigoth” and “Kobatoty” Arcs respectively. She also has sex with Dumay at the end of the world, giving birth to the god of destruction who is “described like mort from the penguins show but vague and esoterically” (I don’t know).

Apparently Gasga was supposed to talk about her breasts?? And also assassinate Emperor Nemo (like the fish?) of the Andals and the First Men and also Germans which and I quote “directly contradicts Shiela’s part but we’ll crosd[sic] that bridge when we got[sic] to it”

There’s this character referred to only as “Big Guy (Dave)” who had 2 and a half pages dedicated to him even though he hasn’t appeared yet, like his whole backstory is it’s own story, I don’t know why they didn’t post this. Apparently this Dave guy was a half-dragon half-elf half-bear half-angel/demon guy who was also prophesized as the hero that would stop the apocalypse at the last second. He was also gonna kill the emperor but a comment on the side says “but sheila..” and then there was a list of potential other names because and I quote: “Dave is too jewish” I really did not know that they were like this, It’s actually slightly worrying and I hope it’s just because the character is supposed to be “slavic or maybe Bosnian”

There is way too much information about Big Guy so I will continue. So far the story hasn’t really gone over a lot of important stuff but I’m pretty sure Grunch was going to be resurrected in rome? Also an odd “man” (always referred to in quotes) wearing a “golden frilly jacket and blue dress from the future” would “appear, introducing Dumay and Grunch’s corpse to the concept of Bubulum Stercus” I don’t know what that means and I wont ruin your own idea of what it might be.

I really don’t know if I can continue any of this. I think this is the product of one very specific person’s mind but I guess I can try after releasing the chapters already written. If it’s not good enough don’t hesitate to Shove it up your Ass.

Horatio stared at the clouds. 

He did this unmoving. His mouth was slightly agape. His expression was blank. Ash fell on his glassless window. The cool breeze of the sea was colder than usual. The sun was gone. He had seen this already.

“This is it.” The figure behind Horatio asked while knowing. Horatio nodded. He didn’t make a sound. The sea reflected the black sky. The rain had stopped this morning. It had been raining for three days. There was ash coating every surface beneath the sky.

“It is upon us then… what will you do?” The figure asked. Horatio answered, “What I can.”

Grunch sat at the fire. Horse stood by the fire, rocking her head up and down. She and Grunch had rags on their shoulders because they had been rained on quite a bit. Grunch paid the innkeeper extra for having her inside. The innkeeper hesitated and insisted that the Stables were nice and safe but Grunch wouldn’t have it.

So now they sat there, soaked by rain and dirtied by ash and heaving and sighing… like.. horses. They sat and they waited and the longer they waited the more they sat. The waiting got quite tiring and Grunch was looking all around and inspecting the lights made by the fire and counting the floorboards between them and the fire and thinking about the if floorboard wideness was reused for measuring the distance of floorboard length and he accidentally invented standardized measurement all on his own but nobody noticed because he was very quiet about it.

Dumay said, “I think I’d like to tell a tale, fellows, a good tale fellows I swear it! This one I heard from my father, and he from his father and so on from his father before him, and he from an old vagrant in the century of 800! A great joke tale about a horse in a tavern! And about other great things, life and grudges and madness. It goes something akin to this:

“Once Upon A Time, a Horse Clopped Into a Tavern… in this Tavern, the Barkeeper Was a Jolly Fellow, a Kind Fellow. His Name Was William. He Liked to Make Conversation, and So Conversational Was He, that He Chose to Greet and Conversate with this Horse. To the Horse He Said, ‘O Welcome, Welcome, Fellow! Why the Long Face?’ 

So the horse looked him in the eyes with its horse eyes and stared really long until the barkeeper looked nervous and the barkeeper wiped his nose from the worry and cleared his throat to speak. Then people laughed even though the horse’s face is naturally long. The horse said, ‘It’s a perfectly normal face for my kind you dickhead.’

William tried to make amends, ‘Oh horse, I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you more it’s just that you looked sad and I realize I chose the wrong words to ask, please forgive me dear horse.’

Suddenly, at the end of William’s apology, the horse bit his nose clean off. So William stood there dumbfounded and surprised before realizing he was in terrible pain. This was the worst moment of his life. He was ruined and embarrassed in front of all his patrons.

So William gave up the Tavern work from sheer embarrassment. He left to go improve himself and he sold his tavern. His wife stayed in their hometown alone and dejected as he felt he was wholly defeated, by a horse no less. 

And William went on to become a lumberer, and a fine lumberman he was, he chopped and chopped and chopped and he got so good at chopping down wood that the local forestfolk burned his house to the ground. So impactful was this act of retaliatory hatred that it inspired in William a whole new sense of anger against that horse who had wronged him.

So William left the forest and left the great Brythonnic Kingdom entirely and he went on outwards into the central lands. In this place he met some great fellows, among the beautiful pastures of Gaulicia. He met this fine fellow, a Gaul all in all. He was a farmer and he asked William what brought him so far and William told the fellow his story.

The Gaul had some sympathy so he took in our William and taught him the ways of farming. And William worked hard as a farmer for years, working so hard that he outworked all the peasants and caused a crisis when the Lord who owned them punished all the other farms for not performing like William’s farm. So the peasants all took up tools to go butcher the fellow before he decided it all became far too much for him and he left on from Gaulicia.

And through Visigothica he strode, confident and strong and intending more good. Here he met a battlement man, who stood guard against invaders. William told this fellow his story and the fellow heard him through and he said, ‘goodness fellow, you should flatten that horse with a rock!’ And so he showed William the ways of siege defense.

William learned every method of hurting fellows from the walls. And he was so learned that when the time came and a siege was put up against their castle by the Gauls, he stole all the glory of the Visigoths and was celebrated as the savior of their city. William thought this was great but really he was burning with revenge so he went off to the East into the remains of old Romagna.

The elves were rude as always so he didn’t stay long. He called them all cunts! And he walked on to the uplands of the Kobatoties and he met a mean fellow who was seeking his own revenge, and they drank and they laughed and they cried together and the fellow said to william one day: ‘You know fellow, I suppose the real love and friendship we find along our way to vengeance is far more meaningful than the revenge itself. So William kicked his ass and left and made his way up the Great Mountain and its icy slopes and its goatish mountain spirits and its legendary stone.

On the Great Mountain of the inner uplands William found the Oracle state of the Kobatoties. He demanded the seers to tell him his future and what he must do to get his revenge and they refused to answer him. He waited outside their temple for thirteen days and thirteen nights for the oracles to answer him. And on the thirteenth when he was hungry and cold and sick and dying he was welcomed within the halls of the oracles’ temple. The Great Temple of Duu Mogüt.

He healed for several nights, tended to by the holy seerservants and when he healed he was finally seen. He begged to know how he may take revenge on this terrible horse who disgraced his name. To know the beast’s name and know that he was just. He said, ‘Please, holy ones, let me be seen, let me hear of my future and know the truth to come, let me know what I must do to overcome my enemy, tell me his name,’ The head of those seers, adorned by a black veil crown, told him this:

William, fellow, your conquest of vengeance is justified by your own judgment. The gods have no say in this affair, your fate is yours to choose. Know this, child, the key of your revenge lies within you and you alone. Be well and be true. Also, his name is Barbarister the Incredible Horse, he’s quite impressive.

Now our William fellow did not take this well, in fact he took this quite terribly. So he sulked off down the mountain and back through the Kobatoties where he apologized to the vengeful fellow, and he went through the pompous ruins of Romagna spitting at all the elves, and between the old castles, welcomed and cheered by his old comrades. And then on through the gorgeous pastures full of angry Gauls he ran, and then back to his homeland of Brythonnia, and now he returned to his home with nothing but his old lumbering axe and he found this place deserted.

His home was a mere shadow of its former self, the people were all sick and tired and war had swept through and taken up all the boys and put them to death for war glory. So he came here and sat in his home and he found his old tavern all abandoned and empty. He came here and he set up and made things nice again and he worked.

And then, when everything was cleaned, the most terrible thing happened. A horse appeared. But not just any horse. The horse. The Horse, Barbarister, walked into his old tavern and said, ‘I’d like a beer.’ And the horse sat in front of the bar and waited.

William stared and stared and he cautiously grabbed his lumbering axe and our noseless protagonist worked up the courage to say something, anything, and eventually he said, ‘Horse, I just have one question for you.’

Barbarister said, ‘Yes?’

And William, he said, ‘Why did you bite my nose off all those years ago?’

And the horse thought deeply about this, recalling the long ago event which had impacted himself so little. William thought terribly hard about these years, his hard work trekking through nations without a horse because he was eternally afraid of them. He thought of the long nights in shady places and warm homes on his way to this very moment. His dedication to finding his revenge with the help of the Oracle’s knowledge, he braced himself for the answer.

Barbarister breathed deeply and made a little pshhh sound with his lips and he said, ‘Well, I thought you were somebody else.’

The End!”

Grunch stared at Dumay for a moment and didn’t say anything. Dumay failed to suppress a wide and very amused grin and giggle.

The innkeeper asked with sincerity, “Is that it?” Which burst the dam of Dumay’s hand over his mouth and he began laughing uncontrollably hard at his own awful joke tale.

Grunch started laughing because he got the joke. In fact, he laughed so hard that he fell off his chair and slowly rolled on the floor, trying to regain composure while he laughed harder and harder.

The innkeeper said, “Don’t encourage him! That wasn’t funny at all!” And Dumay was doubled over laughing as well. Grunch was laughing so hard that he was now in pain and crying. He slapped the floorboards with hysterical laughing despair and struggled to do anything more than laugh. 

Horse rocked her head back and forth and whinnied and neighed to join in on the fun. The innkeeper, unamused and quite annoyed to have his time wasted, went to the kitchen to escape the madness taking hold within his workplace and home. Grunch would eventually stop laughing with hurting sides and heavy breaths and a tight chest all full of giggles. Dumay asked, “How was that fellow? Good one, eh fellow?”

Dumay could not pull himself away from the window. Under his breath he muttered, “Ten days…” he had an ugly expression. Grunch said to him, “It’s not so bad. Head hurts but it’s not so bad. Fire’s nice, eh fellow?” Dummy nodded, “Indeed, fellow… But the rain isn’t going to stop. We’re going to have to leave soon.”

The innkeeper chimed in with, “But sirs, it’s a storm out there, it’s pouring buckets, you’ll be drowned in that.” Grunch had to agree, “We got time, fellow. Why not just wait a moment.” Dumay stared at them both with some flat emotion. He stared past them both but not at the wall or anything behind and he said, “Fellows, I hate to be the bearer of miserable news but this rain is not going to stop.”

Grunch looked at him and thought, that’s not nice. But he didn’t say it. The innkeeper asked, “And how do you know that Sir?” And Dumay said, “Because, fellow, I have seen the fate of all things, all futures, and in each one the rain doesn’t stop, and all the things get worse.” 

It was at this point Grunch recognized that something was missing from Dumay. There was a certain joy and excitement that was dulled and he could see it in his eyes. His eyes that were slightly closed upwards with glee all the time were a tiny bit wider. He noticed this after multiple days of seeing the fellow. He noticed now because it was much more obvious. The odd-headed man was serious.

Grunch asked, “How’d you see that, fellow?” And Dummy answered, “I was given a drink by an oracle on my way to my beheading, and this drink allowed me to see everything that shall happen in the future. There are things I can be certain of and one is that the rain will not stop for some time, much more time than we have, good fellow.”

Grunch furrowed his eyebrows and said, “Well I don’t wanna go, fellow, I’m staying.” Dummy looked like the shocked dead deer looked and said, “What? Why? We have to, fellow! We need to!”

Grunch sat back luxuriously in his uncomfortable wooden chair, “Maybe you, Dummy fellow, then go. I’ll stay here in the cozy warm and be friends with this nice fellow.” The innkeeper smiled at him. Dumay looked ugly like Sir Peddy for a second but he stammered and sputtered and he realized something and he sat next to Grunch and he said, “I’m sorry, fellow. I like you very much, good fellow. You’re better than me, I’m afraid. I’m sorry for ordering you. I want you to help me on a quest you see. But I should have just asked you.”

This attracted Grunch’s attention. He sat up straight and faced the fellow head on and said, “What’s your quest, fellow?” And Dummy said, “I must find a fellow named Horatio, a scribe who has written a prophecy of the End Times. He might save us all in the coming days.”

Grunch turned away and said, “Oracle said I don’t have to choose you, fellow. I could choose anyone, and myself is better to trust than you. You said that yourself, you know you’re a thief.”

Dumay waved his hands in an attempt to conjure up the perfect answer but he just sighed and said, “Yeah. Yeah…” and then he sat there next to Grunch and said, “I’ll stay, fellow. I’ll stay with you and I won’t tell you to go anywhere you don’t want, eh fellow? How’s that fellow?”

Grunch was working the fields after meeting Gwynfor, just done fixing a rather large patch of wretched soil when he saw something shiny. He took a closer look and learned that the shiny was in fact a rock. A red rock that sparkled. So beautiful was this little stone that he picked it up and admired it and said, “Oh! That’s a nice rock!”

Then he saw that there was another rock. One of similar size and different eye catching colors and this one Grunch picked up as well and said, “Fas- fass-ish-inating!” And he was right, but the most fascinating part was yet to come because when he looked up he saw…

Another rock.

So now he knew that something was awry, so he put the rocks back carefully and followed the odd colorful rock trail into the woods. And it kept going, through bushes and shrubs and thistles and so on. Grunch’s legs were covered in thistles as he danced through the woods and found himself at an odd-shaped tree. It seemed to him that it glowed just a little, like sundogs and rainbows. It smelled like earth and wood and moving water. It was very refreshing from the stagnant mud of the field.

Grunch knocked on the tree door politely and from inside came an odd voice, “Ah! Welcome! Come in!” And so Grunch tried but found he was actually about twice the size of the door which was no good. So the fellow inside said, with a terribly grating small voice, “Oh dear! You’re quite larger than I thought! But no worries, Help Me!”

Grunch, a little confused, asked, “What do you need help with little fellow?” And the little fellow said, “Well I’m sure you’re shocked to see g-nomes and g-noblins about but I need you to help me find my friend!”

Grunch said, “I think they’re pronounced Goblins.” So the G-nome said, “Right. My friend has been wrongfully imprisoned by nature spirits, can you save him!?” And Grunch rightfully asked, “Why did you make a path through the woods out of rocks? Can’t you just ask?” And the gnome said, “I’m… shy…”

So Grunch asked the gnome fellow’s name and he said, “Oh of course! How rude! I am Boggle, and my friend’s name is Froggle, and my mother’s name was Troggle before she died but my father’s name is Thoggle! And my neighbor that way-”

“Shut up!” Said Grunch, who was overwhelmed and would not retain any of those names, “I’ll find your friend, stop please!” And he danced off into the woods to find Foggle or whatever it was.

Into the woods, the dark and manless woods where few dared to venture, where the forestfolk and feyfolk reside. Grunch quickly found a band of forestmen, all two heads shorter than Grunch with fox-like heads and antlers on top. They had spears and bows and they weren’t happy to see him. He said, “Hello fellows! I was told there’s a fellow named something or something -oggle whose friend wishes his health!”

The forestfolk made sounds reminiscent of laughter and a few crept close and one whose fur was gray and his eyes unreadable said, “The fey have wronged us, there is war between us, human, it is best you return from the woods.” The beastmen gnashed their sharp teeth, their jaws were all ready to rip the fellow apart but he said, “Well fellow, what’s caused this war of yours, maybe I can help you both and your fightings can stop. Think about it, fellow!”

The beastman said, “We are not fellows. We are Tinik. If you believe you can provide use then you may meet with our leaders, but if you are of no use you will be butchered for all your body’s resources. Do you understand?” Grunch thought about it momentarily and chose to leave, dancing through the forest toward what turned out to be a gnome and goblin village. Everything glowed slightly, it felt like walking in a dream.

Dumay and Grunch worked in the fields through their days with Geralt and Wynn. Little food was recovered. The stores weren’t empty of course, they always grew more than needed, but these were hard times. Every farm across Brythonnia and presumably all the lands were having this very issue.

All the plants had begun turning brown under ash and black clouds and frost. The family tried not to worry.

Today, on the third day of staying with the farmers, Grunch met the oldest boy, Whose name was Gwynfor, meaning fair and large. Grunch laughed because he was actually quite small and Dumay said correctly, “He’s practically my size fellow, that’s big for a boy his age… How old are you, boy?”

He puffed out his chest, “Sixteen, fellow.” Which made Dumay say, “Oh. I suppose I was smart for my age.” Much to Gwynfor’s dismay. And Grunch explained himself by saying, “Well, Dummy, your name's not big, eh fellow? The little fellow’s name is Big! Ha!”

The boy Gwynfor got mad and punched Grunch in the arm, which did nothing but hurt his hand. Grunch wagged a finger at him and Gwynfor suddenly learned a very important lesson. Dumay was then forced to teach him how to fight. He began with boring basics. Gwynfor was very annoyed and he tried to urge Dumay to just let him learn to fight. Dumay refused.

“Your feet are wrong, boy. You aren’t leaning well, fellow. You need to make yourself small to hit, boy. You may be small but you’re big as a house!” These were among the many criticisms that Dummy had to offer. Gwynfor’s attempts to defeat the old fellow were all in vain. Rageful slash after overreaching jab found him on his belly or back, cursing the swordsman. Dumay said, quite harshly, “You know boy, it’s easier to hit you with this unbalanced piece of wood than it is to hit a castle wall with a shortbow.”

Gwynfor then attempted to tackle Dummy which failed as the old fellow dodged him and knocked him on his belly, “You’re an angry fellow! Not much reason to be, eh fellow? You’ll learn real anger if you join the levy or the militia. You know why?”

Gwynfor looked up at Dumay with eyes full of anger and spite and the makings of tears. The Dummy said, “You’ll see your friends die right next to you and you’ll want revenge, but boy, nothing will ever bring them back. And after you're angry, after the fight, if you’re alive, all you can do is keep living. And that doesn’t take anger, boy. It takes courage. There’s nothing brave about swinging madly and conquering others. You’ll learn that, or you’ll die a fool.”

Gwynfor’s expression slowly shifted through the old fellow’s speech. He looked only a slight bit wisened, and Dumay looked down with experience, “If you want the sword so you can be mad, you won’t have it for long. Now get up, fix your stance, and practice your eyes.” So Gwynfor did. And they practiced all the rest of the day until Dumay was too tired to continue.

“Come on! Please!?” Said the oldest boy to Dumay. And Dumay breathed a long and rehearsed sigh before saying, “Fine, boy. If you want to be a swordsman, you’ll make yourself a sword to duel me with. Come to me with a wooden sword and I’ll duel you.”

So naturally, the young fellow ran off to get a wood sword and fight the old fellow but Dumay walked off to join Grunch in his activities.

Grunch was pacing outside the barn, which wasn’t much like him to Dumay’s imagination so he went and asked the fellow, “What’s wrong fellow? What has you pacing like such?”

And Grunch said to the Dummy, “Death, fellow. Death!” And he went back to pacing. So Dummy said to him, “Ah. Indeed. Death.” And he stood by the fellow and asked, “What’s made you reckon with death, fellow? 

“Cow…” said Grunch, mournfully, and then, “Dummy horse…” and Dumay frowned and said, “Ah, yes fellow, indeed. Death. I suppose you saw a dead cow too?” And Grunch nodded, his expression was all limp and pouty, his eyes were wet. Dumay put a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry, fellow…”

Dumay struggled to put his thoughts into words. He thought of the dead that they would see in their futures and the weeping that they would both do and he hugged Grunch, which nobody else had yet tried to do. He hugged Dumay back and they stood together in grief.

“I’m sorry big fellow. Let’s go take our minds off of death, eh fellow?” Grunch nodded and they wandered off to find something emotionally light to do. 

The boy ran up with an oddly sword-shaped stick that was slightly sharpened and said, “I’m ready, sword-man!” And Dumay, in one quick motion, chopped the thing in half with his blade and said, “A proper training sword, boy. That’s a twig.” And the two continued offwards.

Dumay showed Grunch what he used to do in his spare time as a child. Catching frogs after rains. A slippery and agility-demanding game. Grunch wasn’t quite suited for it but he had fun. He slipped in the mud and all the frogs evaded him. One rested on his head next to his deer. Dumay caught it and showed him.

It was a dark muddy green thing with long legs for jumping and odd feet. Its eyes were pretty, brown and black and yellow and so on. It was bumpy and slimy and it squealed when Dumay held it. He released it back into the mud and found another. Grunch and Dumay looked at all the creatures of the mud until dinner time came. Then they cleaned themselves up and went inside and ate with the family of Wynn and Geralt.