#grunch postmortem

Hello all, this is the author’s parents speaking. The author, who will henceforth go by Grunch, was tragically struck by a fast-moving watercraft while partying on the beach yesterday. Unfortunately, there will never be new chapter of Grunch by Grunch the real. I’m sorry to everyone who read and enjoyed the series so far but our sweet non-binary has passed on to the next life.

Grunch’s sibling, who will henceforth be called Grunch II, has decided to take up the mantle of finishing Grunch to completion. 

-Grunch family

hi, I’m Grunch II, I gotta be honest with you, I do not know what in god’s name Grunch is supposed to be about. My sibling left behind about 40,000-100,000 words worth of notes all stored in several google docs. They’re surprisingly well organized, but still very nonsensical. I read through most of it and I think I have the jist of the story.

First of all, Grunch dies, one day early, because apparently “nobody’s gonna predicts[sic] this, breuh [sic]” and this will actually result in Dumay causing the real ‘End Times’ as revenge against the world. It doesn’t say why.

Eventually Dumay finds a 75 year old woman named Shiela “who is described as the ultimate bbw” whatever that means. Shiela actually kills both Gasga and Giscon in the “Visigoth” and “Kobatoty” Arcs respectively. She also has sex with Dumay at the end of the world, giving birth to the god of destruction who is “described like mort from the penguins show but vague and esoterically” (I don’t know).

Apparently Gasga was supposed to talk about her breasts?? And also assassinate Emperor Nemo (like the fish?) of the Andals and the First Men and also Germans which and I quote “directly contradicts Shiela’s part but we’ll crosd[sic] that bridge when we got[sic] to it”

There’s this character referred to only as “Big Guy (Dave)” who had 2 and a half pages dedicated to him even though he hasn’t appeared yet, like his whole backstory is it’s own story, I don’t know why they didn’t post this. Apparently this Dave guy was a half-dragon half-elf half-bear half-angel/demon guy who was also prophesized as the hero that would stop the apocalypse at the last second. He was also gonna kill the emperor but a comment on the side says “but sheila..” and then there was a list of potential other names because and I quote: “Dave is too jewish” I really did not know that they were like this, It’s actually slightly worrying and I hope it’s just because the character is supposed to be “slavic or maybe Bosnian”

There is way too much information about Big Guy so I will continue. So far the story hasn’t really gone over a lot of important stuff but I’m pretty sure Grunch was going to be resurrected in rome? Also an odd “man” (always referred to in quotes) wearing a “golden frilly jacket and blue dress from the future” would “appear, introducing Dumay and Grunch’s corpse to the concept of Bubulum Stercus” I don’t know what that means and I wont ruin your own idea of what it might be.

I really don’t know if I can continue any of this. I think this is the product of one very specific person’s mind but I guess I can try after releasing the chapters already written. If it’s not good enough don’t hesitate to Shove it up your Ass.