Tragedy.
Hello all, this is the authorâs parents speaking. The author, who will henceforth go by Grunch, was tragically struck by a fast-moving watercraft while partying on the beach yesterday. Unfortunately, there will never be new chapter of Grunch by Grunch the real. Iâm sorry to everyone who read and enjoyed the series so far but our sweet non-binary has passed on to the next life.
Grunchâs sibling, who will henceforth be called Grunch II, has decided to take up the mantle of finishing Grunch to completion.Â
-Grunch family
hi, Iâm Grunch II, I gotta be honest with you, I do not know what in godâs name Grunch is supposed to be about. My sibling left behind about 40,000-100,000 words worth of notes all stored in several google docs. Theyâre surprisingly well organized, but still very nonsensical. I read through most of it and I think I have the jist of the story.
First of all, Grunch dies, one day early, because apparently ânobodyâs gonna predicts[sic] this, breuh [sic]â and this will actually result in Dumay causing the real âEnd Timesâ as revenge against the world. It doesnât say why.
Eventually Dumay finds a 75 year old woman named Shiela âwho is described as the ultimate bbwâ whatever that means. Shiela actually kills both Gasga and Giscon in the âVisigothâ and âKobatotyâ Arcs respectively. She also has sex with Dumay at the end of the world, giving birth to the god of destruction who is âdescribed like mort from the penguins show but vague and esotericallyâ (I donât know).
Apparently Gasga was supposed to talk about her breasts?? And also assassinate Emperor Nemo (like the fish?) of the Andals and the First Men and also Germans which and I quote âdirectly contradicts Shielaâs part but weâll crosd[sic] that bridge when we got[sic] to itâ
Thereâs this character referred to only as âBig Guy (Dave)â who had 2 and a half pages dedicated to him even though he hasnât appeared yet, like his whole backstory is itâs own story, I donât know why they didnât post this. Apparently this Dave guy was a half-dragon half-elf half-bear half-angel/demon guy who was also prophesized as the hero that would stop the apocalypse at the last second. He was also gonna kill the emperor but a comment on the side says âbut sheila..â and then there was a list of potential other names because and I quote: âDave is too jewishâ I really did not know that they were like this, Itâs actually slightly worrying and I hope itâs just because the character is supposed to be âslavic or maybe Bosnianâ
There is way too much information about Big Guy so I will continue. So far the story hasnât really gone over a lot of important stuff but Iâm pretty sure Grunch was going to be resurrected in rome? Also an odd âmanâ (always referred to in quotes) wearing a âgolden frilly jacket and blue dress from the futureâ would âappear, introducing Dumay and Grunchâs corpse to the concept of Bubulum Stercusâ I donât know what that means and I wont ruin your own idea of what it might be.
I really donât know if I can continue any of this. I think this is the product of one very specific personâs mind but I guess I can try after releasing the chapters already written. If itâs not good enough donât hesitate to Shove it up your Ass.
-Grunch II, April 1st, 2026

















