#gravies

ray's internalized homophobia further manifests when he recalls how, years later, he hitted the boy he was discovered with, because internally, ray blames him for what happened. deep down, ray is consumed by guilt and pain, utterly unable to confront his true self.

and once again, he has to confront the reality of who he is when mcvries appears. ray is overwhelmed by the desire to touch him, to be close to him. the most tragic part, is that mcvries wants just the same, but shows it in such a strange way that it only confuses ray more. but ray is just incapable of saying 'no' to pete.

it's actually tragic how such important revelation about garraty's identity only emerge when he's on the brink of death. he never actually gets to touch mcvries; he loses him before he can even reach him, filled with terrible regret and guilt for not being able to save him (let's not forget that he literally BEGS the soldiers to shoot him instead of mcvries).