#dricki

I Lied

Nicki Minaj (December 12, 2014)

This is a slow, melancholy love song in which Nicki Minaj sings about feeling like she has to lie in order to protect her heart.

Noticeably, this is my first time dissecting a solo song of Nicki's up until this point. For good reason.

If Unthinkable acts as foundation of Dricki and Hold On We're Going Home is one of the strong pillars that hold them both up, then I would say that Nicki's song I Lied acts as another important pillar that explains the methodology for why Nicki views Drake the way she does. Like a stabbing pain to the heart, Nicki sings in the intro: "I lied, I lied, I lied/To keep you from breaking my heart." She then continues into the chorus: "Even though I said I didn’t love you (Love you, love you)/I lied, I lied/Even though I said I didn’t need you/I lied, I lied." I believe that in this song Nicki is talking directly to two people: Safaree (her ex at this point) and Drake. In various parts in the song Nicki reflects on past sexual encounters with a man that meant a lot to her (Safaree) and sings about how she had to let him go. But in other parts of the song, Nicki is clearly talking about a man she wants to give a chance to but can't because she feels like she needs to protect herself from him (Drake). Safaree keeps breaking her heart, but even just the idea of dating Drake is terrifying to her.

In the first verse, Nicki bears it all: "I can’t fall for you, can’t give my all to you/Can’t let you think that I'ma let the game stall for you/Gotta protect me, you gotta sweat me/You said you thought you was ready and I said, "Let’s see". Nicki is explaining, she feels like she can't fall for Drake becuase she doesn't want him to feel like she's going to put her career on the back burner for him. She has to protect herself by keeping him at a distance. To keep herself from looking stupid, Nicki wants him to "sweat her" (pursue her) to prove to her that he means the things he tells her in private. But, Nicki is just doing this to stall for time. To run out the clock, so Drake gets tired of waiting and moves on. She doesn't really want Drake to pursue her, because if he does, then she'd be forced to examine her feelings for him in a way that would make her more vulnerable to falling in love with him. She continues, "'Cause what happens if I fall in love then you cut me loose?/You just a heartbreaker, won’t let you break mine/'Cause I’ll be smashin' windows and cuttin' them brake line." Nicki imagines herself as one of the women in Drake's life and can't handle the thought of Drake playing with her feelings like he does with other women. She wants to mean more to him but there's this devil on her shoulder whispering doubt into her ear saying things like, "but what if he doesn't really love you?" The pain of a potiental heartbreak would be too much for her to handle. This verse is important because Drake actually references this verse time and time again in the future.

When Drake and Nicki first met she honestly viewed him as a younger brother, and a guy that she got along really well with. Overtime, Drake and Nicki became closer. Drake would make his feelings for her more known as the years went on – practically begging for more access every time he's around her. Slowly.......Nicki's feelings for him start to take a turn. Drake goes from "brother" to "papi". From "I couldn't see myself dating him" to "never say never." I strongly believe that this shift in their relationship occured late 2013 or early 2014. Nicki is more flirtatious, and Drake is much, much more daring.

Verse two starts bitterly with Nicki remembering her past with Safaree and how she feels like she "let that go". "I thought eventually, you would let me go/That was my insecurities and my ego/Missed my jump shot, missed my free throw/Miss the way we kiss, miss the D, yo/Man, it was good while it lasted/That shit wasn’t real, it was magic." By the end of the verse though, Nicki has pushed those memories aside and ends it with a solemn: fuck you. She's done with him.

The bridge for this song is fascinating because it really targets the heart of Nicki's feelings. "I guess this what I gotta do to keep me from fallin', stallin' the truth/Who knew what you’d do if I let you in?." This bridge is all about Nicki feeling the need to protect herself from love. She loves Drake, but he's an unknown entity to her as far as romance goes. From Nicki's point of view, Drake says a lot of sweet things to her but – so do other guys in the industry. Funnily enough, Drake (in his mixtape days) used to call himself Heartbreak Drake. People like to criticize Nicki for not dating Drake sooner, or not giving him a chance sooner but there is vital piece of the puzzle that people are missing. Nicki doesn't date Drake, solely because he means so much more to her than any guy she's ever dated. They have mutual friends, work in the same industry, and have a very strong friendship. My theory is that Nicki dates men beneath her because there is less for her to lose (in a sense). She generally is the breadwinner, has the most star power, and influnce in her relationships; both monetarily and public facing. Losing Safaree hurt her, but their relationship was already wearing thin and toxic anyway. But the idea of losing Drake? Losing Drake would be more than just losing dick, or losing "her comfort". She'd be losing her soulmate, her best friend, and she would have to maneuver around the industry completely different. So while the potential for loving Drake is sky high, in Nicki's mind, the potential to lose him would also be rock bottom.