Anyway last night was the whole-ass-cat. In excruciating detail my brain outlined exactly how everything could go fried-shoes in my life if this fear became manifest. Every detail. Every grief. Every bad thing.

And then I woke up, with my first conscious thought being “… but that’s not real.”

Reader, I have never felt a wave of relief like what followed in my life. My entire body relaxed. All fear and anxiety fled. I almost immediately fell back asleep, the relaxation was so absolute.

It’d almost enough for me to wonder if my brain conjured up that anxiety dream specifically to close the loop for me. This doesn’t happen often, but I’m pretty sure I’m cured of the fear in question.

i saw this tiktk that was about knights having ptsd and immediately thought of your fics with tendou

like i know for a fact you could include it in your au/novel and make me cry buckets n i would still thank u for it uvu

tendou who wakes up in a jolt seeing his dead comrades and enemies alike in his dreams. who will get flashbacks from a whiff of smoke reminding him of a smoldering battlefield. sometimes a sudden clatter of metal will make him tense up and grit his teeth, maybe grip the handle of his sword if its in reach.

but you are his way point, his pull back to earth with only a faint touch or a reassuring word, his hushed name silencing the ghosts that linger in places only he can see.

yes yes yes

And sometimes I have days like today where I remember I don’t want to associate with people like those who I was feeling alienated by anyway because of how they treat people over fucking shipping discourse.