#gonalf

Had an ultrasound yesterday morning that confirmed I was ready to stop the estrogen and we were given the green light to start injections. Jordan gave me my first two needles last night and was an absolute sweetheart of a nurse. A few hiccups along the way — but we will do much better tomorrow now that we’ve done it once. We will continue the shots until instructed otherwise and we have our next ultrasound appointment to check on follicle/egg growth on Monday!

Hello traveler,

You have PCOS? Cant conceive? Welcome into my boat.

Let me start from the top. I decided that I wanted a child. After a year of trying, my brilliant idea was going to a fertility clinic. First thing first, I have superbly irregular period. As in I do not ovulate, and I can have period between 10  and 40 or more days. Yummy I know. 

First step was Clomid. A round of Clomid, is a very standard procedure, and usually is the first step in ones path. I had that, no ovulation. Apparently I am one of 25% of the population, who is resistant to it. This was interesting, because I know i have resistance to insulin, which highly depends on me not eating any carbs and maintaining certain weight. I did my own little research online. Yes, if one is to lose weight, lets say 10% of the current weight, then there is 10% increase of Clomid working. So if you are a 100 kg, lose 10 and try again. I did not bring this up with my doctor, because i wanted to see it play out.

Second step was. Take progesterone round, similar to birth-control rounds, and then  shots of Gonal F. Progesterone was fine, no side effect that I can speak of. Gonal F should be started on the first day of your period. (A fact my doctor failed to mention, he told me when to start, but not the fact that I should wait for a bleeding.)I started with 37.5, for about 4 days. Suggestion don’t be afraid, do it sideways, pinch that fat roll nice, I prefer doing it to the right of my belly button, just like 3-5 inches away. Release fat while holding the needle in. Let it all get in there, then gently pull out. I found out while squeezing, a drop or two gets out. Looks freaky, but does not hurt, pulling out is a little pinch. I am a person with three left hands, that smack each other, and after third one it was as easy as taking a tinkle in a shower. Then it was increased to 75, for about 4-5 days. Then to 127 or something around that number. 

Not a single follicle was grown. My doctor warned me before Gonal F, that we might need to do vitro, if this doesn’t work. Lucky me I live in Germany, and it is cheaper, but still it is 1500-2500 and although I looked at percentages for 35 year old and such; I know I have PCOS and Autoimmune disease, and weight from stress. Thus I do not place high hopes and go with lowest statistic, which is only about 40%. I rather save this money for a child to use, for clothes and etc, and adopt if needed. After not finding follicles, it was obvious doctor wanted to do a vitro, but didn’t want to suggest it. 

Instead I said the following.

-I did a little research. Clomid works better in patients when they lose weight. (gave him the statistic). So if I would lose 27 kg, and try again with Clomid and Gonal F. On top possibly give me something that controls my period, so I do not bleed myself to death this year. 

To my surprise he said it was a splendid idea. He prescribed 3 months of birth control, to regulate my period, and said see you in 3 months. I can draw two conclusions from this:

1.Either he only cared about making money from vitro, hence did not suggest what I did. Which is cheap and healthy.

2. Women are not willing to take these steps, and are eager to pay for surgery, rather than doing the job.

A week passed. I lost 3 kg. To be fair I was 107. Very heavy, but as I said, when stressed I gain and bloat like a balloon. Oh Gonal F gave me a pouch on my lower stomach. I am heavy, but also a wee tall and pack everything nicely. People assume I weight 20 kg less than I do. Which is weird. Anyhow. 

I started a diet, which I would not suggest to anyone! I kind of took a few hints from very obese people. As I once was. So if you are around my weight, it is not ok to use it, but dared be.

For some reason, this cycle my dr didn’t tell me to come every 2 days to monitor follicle growth, and so as advised I showed up a week after my last appointment. I’ve been injecting myself for 6 days with no monitoring. Since we have done the same protocol as when I last got pregnant, I was not concerned. Figured I’d have two mature follicles and undergo the iui the next day or two. I believe I had two follicles but he only mentioned one mature, apparently the other one was significantly smaller. He seemed pleased, but I wasn’t at all! I was so bummed I only had one follicle grow, I could deal with the miscarriage because I believed I was meant to carry fraternal twins (seriously! Lol). Also, one follicle cuts my chances in half! I was hoping for three follicles for better chances…

Second IUI is tomorrow and I am hoping for the best, trying not to let the one follicle get me down. I guess I should be thankful because that one follicle should be in much better quality than the one follicle I release each month naturally…

Tomorrow I will start my two week wait. I have the iui in the morning then a wedding in the evening, I normally like to rest the day of the iui, but I already know that everything in the universe aligns perfectly and accurately every single time so I know everything will be just fine.

Sorry for the lack of documentation through the past month, but let me catch you up.........

I had my appointment with my REI specialist, and this month, I started on injectables. Varying doses of Follitropin (to stimulate follicle production; titrated to response of lab work and ultrasounds every 2-3 days), with a final touch of Ovidrel (to stimulate egg release).

Dr. Cooper (No not Sheldon.....) said I am doing well. On the stimulation day, I had 2-3 moderate sized follicles on my left ovary, and one large, prominent one. Right ovary all still kind of looked small, but that’s my biggest problem side anyway (frequent cysts). We also did an IUI to increase chances, and I have been taking progesterone supplementation since Sunday.

And now.... I am staring down the barrel of yet another two week wait. Funny how these never get any easier.

Today I am 5DPIUI, and I am having all sorts of weird feelings. Nausea which started yesterday evening, which kind of subsided, then returned this morning... dizziness/vertigo. I keep trying to tell myself this is just side effects from the progesterone (plus I came down with a respiratory flu the day after my IUI, fever and all). I’m trying to ignore it and not to symptom spot...... trying not to get my hopes up for a BFP.

This is exhausting.