#goeshard

apprehensive , pacing back and forth against wooden floor. the only contact she had held with her husband was short phone calls , letters exchanged. the last time chrissy had seen @goeshard , had been months ago. opening those van doors , a vivid image that still plays in nightmares. but billy was better now. chrissy believed in him, like she always had. for billy dunne , she held an infinite amount of love. graham had volunteered to go get him , making it easier. less of a struggle to get marlee out of the house. chrissy unsure , if that was the way she wanted him to meet their daughter. she was tiny , but already so perfect and beautiful. words would never admit it , but a broken heart still mending was in her chest. she had been through most of it alone , but missing billy missing her birth? the hurt still stung like an open wound. she had spent all morning , anxiously cleaning the small 'home' they had moved into behind the main house. furniture from thrift stores , tightly packed into the one room place. marlene had helped make it a place they could be happy. unable to put into words , how grateful chrissy was for her time spent here on the west coast. helping her adjust to motherhood. there would be no holding back marlene and the choice words she held for her son the moment he was home.

she  doesn't  remember  calling  him.  hotel  pool  closed  after  hours  ,  but  they  had  just  gotten  back  from  a  show.  and  rules  had  never  stopped  daisy  before.   time  is  lost  there,  floating  into  nothingness.  she's  barely  there  ,  when  he  shows  up  ,  limp  when  she's  thrown  over  his  shoulder.   there's  a  usual  fight  from  her  ,  but  instead  it  isn't  there.  daisy  doesn't  want  to  go  back  to  her  room  ,  back  to  nicky.     she had managed to sneak away from the after party , a disappearing act. it's unspoken between them , nights like this always ended up in @goeshard 's room anyways. it's a blur , from the pool to his room. she's talking , laughing but it all sounds like nonsense echoing in her own ears. she hates herself , for letting him see her like this. for him being the one to always clean her up.

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