middle of night is quiet , a rare for them now. balcony door is open , breeze light. one of her favorite things about their new home. it had been a new start , still in the canyon. boxes still remain half unpacked , @goeshard freshly home from second attempt at sobriety. there had never been any lack of faith that he could do it , the same as first time. sheets are tanged around her bare skin , head rested on his chest. the study thump of his heart , always a comfort. the silence that's placed it's self between them holds no tension , though broken once voice thick with sleep finds words. ❛ you don't have to be sorry. ❜
they are words that come seemingly out of nowhere , but they belong. chrissy has always seen him , in the ways that she doesn't understand , but she's sees him. the way he carries guilt like atlas. fingers trace idly along his skin before she shifts , propping self up on elbows. ❛ you've been living life like i haven't forgiven you. i see it. in the way you look at me , in your smile. you don't have to keep tearing yourself apart billy. ❜ hues take him in , hand reaching out to hold face in her hand. ❛ i made mistakes too. i put you up on a pedestal. like you couldn't make mistakes. i made our love some perfect fantasy and i'm sorry billy. ❜ her apology is long overdue , owning to the mistakes she made for a long time. the inability to give him room for perfection , holding him to those standards of romance novels she had read as a child.
❛ i don't want you to feel that way anymore. i don't want you to feel like i'm pressuring you to be someone you're not. ❜ smile that doesn't reach all the way , her own guilt heavy like an anchor. ❛ it's a new start for us both. i love you , and nothing is ever going to change that. ❜
