#ghostmaker

The Riddler, entering the Iceberg Lounge: Batman fucking yelled at me today.

Penguin, shaking cocktails: What did you do?

The Riddler: Why do you assume I did something?

Harley: Show your work.

Bane, entering the lounge and pointing at The Riddler: Nygma, it was my night with the Bat!

Scarecrow, muttering: And I get yelled at for stealing time slots.

Penguin: He's right, Ed. It was Bane's night. Check the timetable.

The Riddler: I literally didn't do anything. I was headed here, I stopped to get the nuts you asked for and just happened to walk past and I literally just said Hi to Spoiler and Red Robin and then Big Bat told me to fuck off.

Bane: I had him pinned under a car, begging for mercy-

Ivy: OK now I'm calling bullshit because Bats doesn't beg-

Selina: I beg to differ but-

Bane: And we were just at that point, you know, getting to when he's about to give it his all-

Harley: Somewhere the Joker is after perking up

Bane: - and then he wasn't in the mood any more!

Khoa: Been there.

Bane: Edward ruined my moment!

The Riddler: I just said Hi to the kids, man. Spoiler waved. What was I going to do? Snub her?

Two-Face: Yeah, Bats is a little touchy around the kids these days.

Zsasz: Deathstroke is in town.

Harley:

Ivy:

Scarecrow:

Selina:

Khoa:

Two-Face:

The Riddler:

The Penguin:

Bane: Edward, our feud is on hold as it were. We must ensure the Bat's birds can fly safely.

The Penguin: Hold on. I spent $70 on ingredients.

Khoa: So what? We're going to let Deathstroke be around Bats' kids?

Penguin: No, I'm just saying if Ivy doesn't protest, I have plastic take out cups. We can bash Deathstroke and still have cocktail hour.

Ivy: Are they bio-degradeable?

Penguin: Recyclable.

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✨Bonus✨:

Bruce, pressing his ear to the door:

Jason, voice muffled: Yeah, well, let's say I kill sometimes in Gotham. But that's gotta be done, you know? This city is not going to help itself.

Ghostmaker: Listen, kid, I understand. Better than anyone. Do your thing.

Jason: Thank you, thank you! It just still hurts a little bit! I mean, come on, guys, we are family. There is no way you can't see the truth, and even if you do, you still threaten me to send me in Arkham or anywhere worse.

Ghostmaker, rolling his eyes: Oh, ignore them. Had I told you, once Bruce and I fought over exactly the same thing. He pissed me off, so I was knocking him down... He wakes up, I am over him, patching him up. And he goes, like, Khoa? Where are we? And I am shrugging, like... We are in Arkham because, Bruce, honey. I love you, but that's the likely place for you to end up in. Have fun.

Jason, in awe: Really? He never told us that.

Ghostmaker: Well, that's little bat for you...

Bruce, paling gradually: No. No. No.

(Minutes later, in Batcave)

Bruce: Okay, who decided to introduce Jason and Khoa to each other? I am not mad. I just need to know this.

Dick, nervous: Uh, it was me. Let's say, it was me, and I am—

Bruce: It wasn't you. Don't even try.

Bruce, stares at Tim: Timothy?

Tim, rolling his eyes: Nah. If it was me, I would be proud. I would tell everyone I did this.

Tim: But, hey, Damian was the last one who spoke with them.

Damian: Naturally. Excluding father and Cain, they are the only two people who knew my family.

Tim: I am saying...

Damian: Keep your mouth shut—

Bickering sound: intensifies