#gey-beans

Oh, you wanted brutal? My brutally honest opinion? Fine.

Elricest is the most tender, beautiful, awe-inspiring ship to be found on this planet. Nothing else can ever top the pure love and devotion that these two have for each other—or that they inspire in me.

I legitimately went into FMA knowing it featured brothers and telling myself “now I don’t have to ship the brothers just because they’re brothers…”

…and I don’t. I ship them because they are front and center in each others’ lives, the literal most important thing to each other, the only person they’d give up their whole life for. An arm, a leg, a heart. None of it matters, as long as they’re together.

Now, you did want brutal, so here’s my secret opinion on them: I don’t think they’re crazy enough.

Now this is more a thing about Ed and Al as characters, rather than them as a ship. But I think the narrative comes out making them seem too…squeaky clean.

Al in Conqueror of Shamballa comes the closest, with his determination to get Ed back at any cost, even that of bringing invaders from another dimension. But that choice of his is immediately chastised by the narrative. (Yes, yes, I know. Themes and everything. But what about what I, personally, want?)

I like my ships a little too devoted to each other. I like characters who are too wrapped up in each other to see the bigger picture. I guess that’s why I daydream all the time about the AU where they are like that.

Oh no, I forgot to answer this one! And it’s one of the best ships 🥰

I love Rizal. Al and Riza have very similar personalities—they can be overlooked at first by their louder narrative counterparts, Ed and Roy, but they’re both incredibly determined and devoted and just overall gentle souls.

The scene in BH where Riza empties her gun into Lust, tearful and desperate, only to run out of bullets? And Al steps in front of her? Allowing his armor to be torn up in order to protect her? It’s the best. I love it. He refuses to let anyone, especially her, to get hurt.

And then he holds her again to protect her from the fire Mustang sets and despite his big bulky armor it’s so…tender? (Riza was just made to be held in big arms, I suppose 😏)

But like I’ve said before, Ed or Al ships can only be complete with both brothers involved. Rizaled is the best Riza ship. The boys tag teaming her? Calling her mommy lieutenant? Beautiful.

Hello dear! 💖

So this AU already exists—it’s the one where Ed binds Al’s soul to himself instead of to a suit of armor.

But I’m thinking of a particular moment in the story—the Nina incident. In canon, once the boys discover what Tucker has done, Ed lashes out while Al tries to stop him.

Can you imagine how that would play out if the boys shared Ed’s body?

Ed would strike. Then hesitate. Grit his teeth. Struggle. Bring his fist forward, but not nearly as forcefully.

His “how could you” blends with Al’s “brother, stop!” which is…extremely unsettling. Usually the boys share pretty well. Al relaxes most of the time, until Ed decides to hand him the reins—or unless he asks Ed really nicely. They’ve never fought for control before.

Eventually Ed stops trying to punch Tucker, and just ends up punching the wall, driving his forehead into it too. Tucker continues to talk, cackling, maniacal. Finally, Al’s had enough.

“Mr. Tucker, if you don’t stop talking, I’ll be the one to snap.” His voice is clearer. Calmer. But it promises violence like Ed hasn’t yet delivered.

Tucker blinks. He’s never really believed that Al is dead. But this…who could believe this?

He’s led away screaming “I know the truth! I know you and your brother are—” but he’s dismissed as a madman. Ranting. Raving. Ed and Al hope it stays that way.

That ‘special something’ it’s missing is named Alphonse ;)

Real-life relationship goals this time! 😂 there’s plenty in canon to provide ship fodder, but my personal preferences lie elsewhere. Sure, they can be together, but it’s not an intense need of mine.

The second the Winry/Sheska shenanigans began in 03, I went “oh I’ll bet this is a ship” and honestly? With how 03 ended, I can totally see it being a thing. I love how they started off so awkward and a little disdainful of each other, but in about ten minutes they were playing off each other, utilizing their own unique skills to pull off their little phone heist.

And later they run to Winry’s house together, explore Central City and the ruins under it…yeah, I’m all here for adventuring girlfriends.

Oh no, you have opened the floodgates…to let out my supernatural opinions… 😈

For Destiel:

Unfortunately, I can’t think about this one beyond “no” due to years of fandom conditioning…any consideration or interest I might have had died off when I got people screaming in my face about it every time I went online. If I got amnesia and only heard about it through osmosis? Maybe. (But no matter what the fans insist, it was never a canon ship 😊)

And Wincest!

Platonic wincest is canon, but the show itself was merrily tone-deaf about its balancing between the two “leads,” always siding against Sam even if Dean had done or said similar things. Dean was always right and good, Sam was always bad and wrong. And that grinds my gears a LOT.

That said, a lot of my mutuals are wincest shippers and I am more than happy to consume content for it!

Again, I haven’t seen much content for this one, nor do I go looking for it. But I can’t deny the deliciousness of the possibilities—Roy, consumed by grief for the man he loved (maybe pined for, seeing as Hughes was married?) uncovers the government conspiracy that killed him? He does love his revenge…