Sometimes I look at normal people making normal decisions & wonder what it must feel like to live without the constant noise in your head.
To not have the curse of overthinking.
Knowledge is easy to getāanyone can memorize facts.
Intelligence feels heavier, because itās not about how or when to use what you know, itās about asking whether you should at all.
Take a bomb, for example.
If Iām stupid, I wouldnāt know how to use it.
If Iām slightly less stupid, Iād use it to scare people.
If Iām average, Iād use it outright.
But if Iām actually thinkingāif Iām the so-called āevolutionāāIād hide it, say nothing, & only reach for it when thereās no other choice.
That silence isnāt powerāitās exhaustion.
Holding potential that may never be asked for, knowing most of the time life trips me before I even get the chance to use it.
And then comes the question: who am I to decide when something should be used?
Logic & circumstance decide more than I ever do.
For example, I could love my own land to death, but if that land started harming strangers, Iād still have to lock it away.
I donāt know where Iām going with this, except to remind myself that on a cosmic scale, most of the things I beat myself up overāthat one colleague who still thinks I was to blame when I had nothing to do with it, a bad grade, some romantic partner not reciprocatingādonāt actually mean much.
Thereās no deadline on learning. You can pick up something new at any point, even if itās as small as knitting.
Because true intelligence isnāt glamorous.
Itās quiet, often lonely.
Not tortured genius, not brilliance preserved in history books.
Just the persistence of learning, of keeping your own perspective alive, even when it feels like no oneās watching.
If you have the love to keep learning new things, then you, my friend, will not die midiocre or ordinary.
Because true intelligence is quite & lonely.
It's a hard path but if you are ever to be worth your salt, you must walk it.
