#gender unaligned

Sorry for the absence last week y’all!

This week I wanted to ask:

What are some great costumes for Nonbinary folks? Additionally, if you celebrate, what are you dressing up as for halloween??

If you really wanna go hogwild I’d love to see some pictures of y’all! Feel free to submit :D

I look forward to seeing everyone’s response!

Hello lovely humans! here are the additional comments from this week’s Question Wednesday!

@proudnb2 Ooooh that’s a really interesting point! I definitely feel the whole non-human entity thing, that’s sort of an ongoing complaint in the community that I’m aware of, but that point about Nonbinary characters seeing things from a different perspective is really interesting. I know personally I love the whole wise outcast trope a whole lot but you’re right, that is definitely one I’ve seen applied to enby characters! I also am a huge sci-fi nerd so *fistbump* Thanks so much for your reply!

@adhdisgay Wow that is a very good point. I am a mentally ill autistic enby so same hat there. I always love that those characters exist and get really excited to see myself in them, because hey, jackpot! But they really do need to be separated on a regular basis, otherwise along with the issues you mentioned we run the risk of sending the message that being Nonbinary is just another mental illness that shows up co-morbid with other issues. Which is for a lot of people v wrong and bad and so not the case it’s not even funny. And I do know that some people feel a v strong connection between being neurodivergent and their gender, but that connection needs to be drawn by the individual and not society at large. Really good points, and thank you for your reply!

@mcfkn Oof yeah that’s definitely hard. Beyond just being nonhuman being visibly different to everyone else is...not always amazing. There are so many different ways to be nonbinary and I feel like the one we see the most of is ‘hey lookit this weirdo!’ which if you wanna rock the stand out and be proudly weird thing, you go for it you funky lil enby, but also that’s not.....everyone. Thank you for your reply!!

These are some AMAZING responses thank you so much you guys!! So basically we need diversification in the representation of enbies is what I’m seeing. Which...I’m sure comes as a surprise to no one. It’s still really interesting to see what trends and themes other people have picked up on, and I love hearing your opinions on stuff!

Please feel free to continue the discussion in the notes of this post, and I’ll catch y’all next Question Wednesday!!

Well, again we run into the problem that no one can really tell you what your gender is, and as much as I love repping nonbinary folk I am totally not a gatekeeper who can give you permission to ID as nonbinary. 

I can hopefully give you a little bit of advice though?? I would do some research regarding terms that you feel fit your attitude towards gender, even if you decide none of those labels are for you it might be helpful to have something to compare your own experiences to. 

That being said, it’s totally okay to consider yourself gender non-conforming and be generally chill with whatever pronouns and presentation! And if you decide that you really do want to change up your presentation or pronouns, having done a bit of research might really help you figure out where you want to go from there. 

Some terms that might be helpful that I can think of off the top of my head are:

- Demigirl: Feeling partially like a girl, and maybe partially not

- Genderflux: Feeling as though your gender presentation or identity gets more and less intense over time, potentially effecting your pronouns or presentation. 

- GNC: As I mentioned above, Gender Non-conforming is a great way to label just general gender questioning or queerness.

And it’s totally cool and awesome to just, use multiple pairs of pronouns. If you want to use both she/her and they/them, more power to you! 

I hope this was in any way helpful, and that my information was generally accurate. If anyone has some advice or knows of some labels or identities that might be useful please feel free to reply to this!

You’ve got this, the journey of gender is a hard one, but it can also be pretty amazing, and it’s important to remember it’s not a race, you’ve got plenty of time to figure things out. 

Aaaand sneaking in just under the wire to technically qualify as Wednesday here on the east coast is our first Question Wednesday back in the swing of things!

Today I want to do something simple, joyful, and fun!

What is the thing that gives you the most gender euphoria??

Bonus points if it’s related to a piece of media!

I’m excited to see what you guys send in, and as usual any reblog tags or replies to the post will be highlighted on Answer Sunday :)

And I don’t have a future. I’ve been forced to wear dresses for a grade, I’ve had to call myself my deadname and listen to others calling me it despite knowing my real one, a transmed said people only think of attraction as a guy or girl thing so I’ll never have a partner, I might not even be able to change my legal name. I want to be allowed to be myself. I hate that it’s like fucking pulling teeth getting cis people to just stop treating me like my agab, and then transmeds do it too 2/2

Hi anon. 

Thank you for feeling safe enough on this blog to have a vent, and just know I’m always happy to chat about stuff like this. Please feel free to dm me @hypatiamakes if you want to chat more any time. 

These are issues that strike pretty close to home for me, and I’m sure for a lot of people in this community. I know the experiences you’re talking about because I’ve been having them too, and I know people who have them all the time. I’ve ID’d woman-aligned NB since I came out and I only recently realized that I think I’m unaligned. That concept doesn’t make sense to a lot of people unfortunately, but I get it, and I understand what you’re going through, especially about being misnamed and misgendered. I haven’t ‘officially’ come out at my university yet (my profs don’t know) and its agonizing.  That doesn’t make your situation any better but know that you’re not alone. 

The community has a long ways to go when it comes to accepting people as people, and letting others explore themselves in their own unique ways. Those people telling you negative things don’t speak for everyone, and they certainly don’t speak for the members of this community or the mods of this blog. 

Gender is a construct and you are allowed to create your own identity, you make yourself who you are. You have complete facility over your mind and your matter. I believe you that you’re unaligned, I believe that you will feel comfortable one day and I believe that you will find someone if that’s what you want. No one can define you except you, and although that’s a scary responsibility, its also an awesome freedom. 

We are here for you as a community, and I admire how strong you are. Keep fighting, take care of yourself and know that you are not alone.

Much love