#gbuda

Have you heard of me? 

My invisible foot steps 

The unscented toxicity of my breath 

My razor-sharp depth in my lashings 

My negative influence. 

I am: 

Toxic 

Narcissistic 

Stress inducing 

Debilitating 

Behavior changing 

Life - bending. 

Have you heard of me?

My residency is permanent 

The feelings I bring are torturous 

I steal all of your senses 

Shatter all of your dreams 

Re – arrange your ways of thinking 

Your, seeing your feeling, 

Your life. 

I am: 

A thief 

A bully 

A terrorist 

Emptiness 

Seclusion 

Sadness 

And loss. 

Have you heard of me? 

I am: 

MENTAL ILLNESS 

I just don’t feel right,  

Out of place, mistitled, misunderstood. 

My body is overrun by bullies, 

My mind robbed by the same. 

Although I do all I can, 

I only chose myself to blame. 

I WANT To ISSOLATE 

My emotion is anger with the urge to fight. 

While never listening, never, hearing me out I go straight to my jugular. 

So unempathetic am I to me. 

To accept all that happened, I can do 

To expect more to happen leaves me shivering in fear. 

If the path out of Hell (which I believe I am treading in) is the path out of misery, 

I then ask, how deep is this soul buried? 

Never have I rejected, yet accepted reality and as it is yet, my limitations take from my light. 

I accept this PAIN! Please let me move on. 

Give me back the sense of being free! Please! I beg. 

I know there is no fighting reality and accept the unacceptable 

While understanding the facts may never be clear, I will try to understand my manned life. 

I AM GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE BUT< STOP THROWING MORE SHIT IN MY WAY EVERYTIME I GET ONE STEP AHEAD! 

I am jealous of a life I once had. It is hard to face myself every morning knowing the face I see is failing again. 

Things are becoming harder and more hurtful. I am overwhelmed with non-emotion and feel more than lost in my body. 

Who am I? Where do I belong? What is my purpose? Why me? Why so much? 

 When will this beating stop? 

Everything is so damn complex anymore; I can’t even go to the restroom without caution. 

I AM SICK OF BEING SICK!!! 

I’m just tired today.

I’m tired of being tired.

Tired of having no energy.

Tired of being fatigued.

Tired of being emotionless, heartless and misunderstood.

Tired of trying so hard (Only to fail.)

I want the simple things to be simple again.

I want to brush my teeth, shave, talk, put on my shoes, without having roaring consequences to pay for every time.

I try to keep positive (Man, do I miss my positivity!)

But my anger blocks all the inner beauty I hold.

I am sad today I am tired today and I am pissed off today.

Use anger to learn from it.

Remember anger is BOTH healthy and unhealthy.

Anger comes from many components some are being embarrassed, being ashamed or being misheard.

Anger is an emotion we need to understand this while also taking in the fact there usually is more to anger than just the emotion.

Ask yourself: 1) Why do I feel this way? 2) What can I do? 3) Why did this happen?

your thoughts are yours - they are not mine.

Your anger is yours - it does not belong to me.

The guilt you carry - you may keep - I sleep fine.

Save your manipulations for another soul.

For mine will no longer be a part of them.

I wish you no harm - only all the best and success..

I longer am angered at you - now, I offer you love and healing.

I cannot fix you and must allow you to feel your mistakes, repair and heal yourself.

I am me. I am love. I am respect.

I am.

My love

My future

My soul

And only have the truest in compassion for my soul.

Shinning eyes

Rays of sunshine

Warm me more

Each time

I look at you

And realize

I am yours

And you 

Are Mine

Glowing heart

To stop all time

The world around

Will crystalize

As our soul

Tells our minds

“Never to forget”

What we have found - in time

Lasting

Memories

Together

Come, in due time.

Balancing our energy begins with belief.

Belief in you, belief in life,

We never will be able to handle our responsibilities if we spend our energy to tied up in the worries or the what ifs.

belief in trust.

Learning to only need "even" in our lives

We can't balance with uneven weight on each side.

Although we will have these things they need to be balanced with good intentions and truths.

This balance takes the weight of burdens from bringing us down to being tolerable.