#galvy

july 23, 2022

I fucked winter last night and spent my day sore from him.

Today I made a date with galvy.

Last night though. We talked so much and I got something I didn’t know I was searching for. I got my closure from him. It was beautiful. Wonderful even. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders that I had unknowingly been carrying for years.

This is the part where I say I’m okay and that I didn’t care.

I didn’t care this time.

I really didn’t care this time.

It was hard to imagine us together anyway.

False image.

I’ll survive just like I always do.

I have things to focus on this time anyway.

I’ll be okay just like I always am.

I am always okay at the end of the day.

My heart is stressed for you. I want this to work. I was honest with you. I’m clueless. You have to let me know if you’re interested or not. You asked me out again. A simple word.

“Waffles?”

That word made my me happy, but then we never set a date. So days later I asked you

“What are you doing next Friday.”

I think you’re asleep because you haven’t read it. I want you to so badly. I’m nervous for the impending date in all honesty. You scare me. Like you have the power to hurt me like SmartBoy and damn did I want it to work out with him. He made me happy as hell. He ended up being awful to me though. I shouldn’t give you so much power. This time around I’m giving you less power though because even if this doesn’t work out I still have myself and my personal goals.

its cold in my bed and i want you here with me. i get excited to come home every night and just be in my bed. sometimes with make up. sometimes with out. you haven’t told me how you like it yet so i just alternate. but im excited because when im in bed it means im talking to you. we’ve been talking so much for the last two months. maybe my heart is just all worked up over you. i don’t get it. i dont get how you get me this way. im excited to talk to you every night. sometimes during the day i’ll stop what ever im doing to reply to you. 

you look cute in your school uniform by the way. 

its a friday night and i just want to talk to you. we havent talked all day. its driving me insane. were gonna lose our snap streak. i know thats so superficial but it means i have proof we talk and this isnt some dream. i also know im your number one best friend on snapchat because i was yours a few days ago. i panicked and stated snapping columbia  a lot so she would be my number one again. the little golden heart would scare you and i know it. i know how you are. thats why youve been talking to me less. you dont understand the random heart, but i do. its been going back and forth all week because youve been talking to me on and off. 

i just want you to take me out like you said you would. 

it sucks waiting for you. i feel like ive been waiting forever for you. we’re trying this again and some how youre turning back into that old guy i knew a year ago. maybe my friends were right and you were just lying to get in my pants. you cant keep up lies forever as they said. it was to good to be true. you were too good to be true. i shouldn’t have told anyone and i should have kept you to myself. i should have been selfish with you. 

i like that you have friends.

smartboy had no friends. he was a loser to be honest. but he played me well and ditched me as soon as he slept with me. it hurt a lot. at least you never slept with me. we almost did a year ago, but didnt thank the lord. i wouldnt have been able to live with myself if if did that in my family’s home. but back to the point. youre social. youre probably out with friends right now at a bar on the strand or something. you called the strand sketchy tho so i dont know where you would be. but i imagine you out with your buds drunk on a friday night.