#futurejob

It has been so long since I did an intake interview for the psychiatry ward that I stumbled and fumbled and skipped a solid half of the questions I needed to ask and my resident had to save me. But I had completely forgotten the amazing amount of trust that our patients put in us, when we ask them to recount absolutely terrible things that have happened in their lives in the hopes that we can use that information to help them sort through everything unfair that life has dealt them and try to build up healthy coping skills and supports. I had forgotten the incredible privilege of walking into a room and meeting a patient for the first time and having them open up about things they never normally share. I had forgotten so much about why I wanted to go into this field. And then today happened and I suddenly remembered everything again about why I want to be a psychiatrist.

There was a new staff psychiatrist in-processing today and when he found out I was an interviewing MS4 he asked how my interview went, and I said that I thought it went well and my resident cut me off at that point to say that he had it on very good authority that my interview went extremely well and if I want to do my residency here the spot is mine, which is incredibly flattering to hear because I do like the program here a lot but now I really have no idea what to do with my rank list and there’s still 2 more months of this back and forth before my rank list is due and the pro con chart I made hasn’t really helped anything at all.

I've been back on a psychiatry service for one week, and it's amazing how good and right it feels to be back working in this environment with these patients. Any questions I had about my future specialty have been resolved. No one single rotation just felt right during clerkship year and I had some questions about where I'd end up, but right now I feel like I'm working exactly where I'm supposed to be and that's kind of awesome.