#funny starters

send one of the followings emojis or prompts if you have ideas for relationships & plots when it comes to our muses, but you don't know how to start! in return, i'll go through either yours or my prompts and try to send you something to work with your wishes! feel free to send more of them at the same time too!!

note: with "my muse", we mean the sender's

NEUTRAL

🙂 a simple first meeting should work

🤭 my muse wants to know yours better

🤗 my muse doesn't know yours, but heard of them /pos

🤔 my muse doesn't know yours, but heard of them and has no strong feelings about them. yet.

😄 my muse is related or friend of someone your muse is friends with

😕 my muse is related or friend of someone your muse dislikes

😍 my muse is related or friend of someone your muse loves

PLATONIC & FAMILIAL

🐶 they could be friends!!!!

🐺 they were friends in the past, but lost contact with eachother

🐣 they're family!!!

🐔 my muse is a distant relative of yours

🐴 my muse is a fan of yours

🦝 my muse is an old friend who yours didn't see in a while

🐭 our muses are online friends

ROMANTIC & SEXUAL

❤️ my muse wants to kiss yours (in a romantic way)

💙 my muse has a one sided crush on yours

💚 our muses are exes

🧡 my muse used to have a crush on yours some time ago

💛 my muse wants to kiss yours (mostly in a sexy kind of way)

💜 our muses had a one night stand

🖤 our muses are fuckbuddies

ANTAGONISTIC & NEGATIVE

🥄 my muse doesn't know yours, but heard of them /neg

🔨 they should beat eachother up

💣 my muse hates yours

🗡️ our muses hate eachother

🔪 my muse is scared of yours

⛏️ they were friends in the past, but they had a serious fight

🪓 my muse wants to kill yours

WORK & SCHOOL

📅 they're forced to cooperate

📋 my muse wants yours to work for them

📚 our muses know eachother from school

📊 our muses know eachother from work

📌 my muse works for yours

📭 your muse works for mine

📖 my muse is or was your muse's teacher

OTHER ODDLY SPECIFIC SCENARIOS

🍉 they should work together to beat someone else up

🍋 our muses are in a fake relationship

🍏 my muse needs yours to pretend to be their partner

🍒 my muse is famous, and i'd love to see yours reaction to see them

🍓 my muse is a troublemaker and yours find them after a fight

🍇 my muse is sad for any reason and crosses paths with yours

change pronouns as necessary; quotes were taken out of context & are in no specific order.

❛  the english language can’t fully capture the depth & complexity of my thoughts. ❜  

❛  i’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. winky face.  ❜

❛  with all due respect, i am gonna completely ignore everything you just said.  ❜  

❛  a place where everybody knows your name is hell. you’re describing hell. ❜  

❛  cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.   ❜  

❛  if i die, turn my tweets into a book.  ❜  

❛  anyone over the age of six celebrating a birthday should go to hell. ❜  

❛  why don’t you just do the right thing and jump out of a window? ❜  

❛  i asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes. ❜  

❛  turn your greatest weakness into your greatest strength.  ❜  

❛  the doc said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be. ❜  

❛  do you see me as a father figure? ❜  

❛  no. if anything i see you as a bother figure, because you're always bothering me. ❜  

❛  can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?  ❜  

❛  title of your sex tape.  ❜  

❛  piece of advice: just give up.  ❜  

❛  ok, no hard feelings, but i hate you. not joking. bye.    ❜  

❛   do you bring me joy? no, because you’re boring and you’re too hard. see ya.  ❜  

❛   good to see you. but if you’re here, who’s guarding hades? ❜  

❛  fine, but in protest, i’m walking over there extremely slowly! ❜  

❛   hi, (name), the human form of the 100 emoji. ❜  

❛  leave me a voice mail. i won’t check it ’cause it’s not 1993.  ❜  

❛  i was born for politics. i have great hair and i love lying. ❜

❛  the only thing i’m not good at is modesty, because i’m great at it.  ❜  

❛  thank you. your entire life is garbage.  ❜  

❛  i’m scared of businessmen. ❜  

❛  that's the worst part of both of those things.   ❜  

❛   hey! welcome to the murder.  ❜  

❛   are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up? ❜  

❛  if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself.  ❜  

❛  i just forget stuff like a cool person.  ❜  

❛  yeah. i'd rather walk into the freezing ocean.  ❜  

❛  i never throw up. i just tell my stomach to deal with it. my body is terrified of me.  ❜

❛  huh. i'm surprised you're not celebrating inappropriately.  ❜  

❛  i don't slump, people. i opposite of slump. i pmuls. that's slump backwards.   ❜  

❛  it's been stressful, and it went so well. seriously, look at me, i cannot stop smiling.  ❜  

❛  i mean, you know how that sounds, right?  ❜  

❛  has anyone ever told you you look just like a statue?  ❜  

❛  ooh, someone's in trouble. it's me. i don't know why i did that.   ❜  

❛  you're smiling. it's very weird. like seeing a turtle out of its shell.  ❜  

❛  i've said "excuse me" more times this morning than i have in my entire life. twice! ❜  

❛  i'd make an amazing prostitute.  ❜  

❛  well, let's cancel the entire evening and try again next year.  ❜  

because height difference

Feel free to edit however you see fit

Tall

“Hey I could totally use your head as an arm rest.”

“Can’t reach it now, can you?”

“..do you need me to grab that for you?”

“How’s it going down there?”

“Huh? Who said that? Oh it’s you. Sorry, you’re pretty far down there.”

“Sorry, I didn’t see you behind that grain of rice.”

“Is everyday like Attack on Titan for you?”

“Your height is cute. Don’t feel bad.”

“What? You'll have to talk louder! I can't hear you up here.”

“Jesus Christ when will I stop growing?”

“I need to buy another pair of pants because now I’mnearly too tall for these.”

“Why is your seat so close to the steering wheel?”

“I won’t make fun of your height. I wouldn’t stoop that low.”

“Walk faster.”

“Yes, I play basketball.”

“No, I do not play basketball.”

“Geez, I’m almost taller than this doorway!”

“Being tall has its perks. You’re a really great view from up here~”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to put it up that high! I wasn’t thinking!”

Short

“I’ll bite your arm off if you use my head as an arm rest again!”

“Give it back! Stop using your dumb height against me!”

“Can you help me get that from the top shelf please?”

“I think I need a taller stepping stool..”

“Hey! I’m not that short!”

“Don’t mess with me. I’m closer to hell.”

“Can you give me a lift?”

“Put me down!”

“How’s the weather up there?”

“What is it like to be y’all and actually be able to reach stuff?”

“No! I’m determined to reach this myself!”

“All the best things come in small packages.”

“Thank goodness for heels...”

“Stop walking so fast. My short little legs can’t keep up!”

“I’m not short! I’m fun sized!”

“You’re literally a tree.”

“You’re 5′4, how dare you call yourself short!”

“Looks like we’re both out of luck. We’re both too short to reach shit.”

“Maybe if we stand on top of each other..”

From both movies starring Ryan Reynolds.

“who gave you this number?”

“well this was an objectively terrible idea.”

“my advice for you would be to jump out of a window.”

“i save every rat i find.”

“i found this rat on the train.”

“i’m vegan.”

“it’s my last day.”

“what if a pregnant woman comes on?”

“put the catcher in the rye next to them and cops think they’re coocoo when they wake up.”

“you got a husband?”

 “i have a crush on you.”

“full disclosure, i made too much.”

“i gotta get rid of this lo mein.”

“i tried to do a trick to get on instagram.”

“i’m shitting myself.”

“they tried to kill me.”

“i still have these peanuts.”

“you fell in the water, why are you eating it?”

“it’s the only psychoactive drug that’s lemon-lime flavored.”

“someone pushed you out the plane?”

“you look like you could diffuse a bomb.”

“is she dead?”

“what the fuck is that?”

“i don’t eat hot dogs.”

“you seem on edge.”

“that is definitely illegal.”

“you ever do cocaine?”

“is that okay to say?”

“you wanna boof this cheesecake?”

“you gotta parachute it.”

“you gotta parachute it. into your ass.”

“it hurts to sit.”

“can we start over?”

“why are you trying to be all things to all people?”

“the only thing worse than a human murder is a fish murder.”

“why was the carpet up there?”

“it’s hard to say.”

“whether you’re eve or steve, this adam is one juicy apple and i wouldn’t mind to take a bite.”

“there’s some shit underneath the couch.”

“you’re wearing spiked boots. you’re supposed to be fearless.”

“spiked boots!!”

“damn.”

“that’s really nice.”

“what’s his name?”

“you’re known for dropping pretty big deuces on set.”

❖ Feel free to tweak & change pronouns if needed!

❝ that will require me to remember my own password and its bold of you to assume i do ❞

❝ too late to dare me because its being done- ❞

❝ im attracted to the brazilian crab spider ❞

❝ i fucking lobe it ❞

❝ gimme the world and ill make u one ❞

❝ THATS NOT MY USERNAME-- ❞

❝ fuck you, lucifer, why would you do that to me ?? ❞

❝ I WANNA DIE BECAUSE I BURPED WHILE HAVING ACID REFLUX, WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG-- ?? ❞

❝ CAN WE ALL CALL A TRUCE AND GO AFTER SWEDEN? THEY HAVE BANANA CURRY PIZZA-- ❞

❝ both y'all venti vanilla lates with four pumps of caramel need jesus ❞

❝ never say that phrase around me because I WILL start singing the spice girls song ❞

❝ i'm already here, you soggy dick tissue ❞

❝ we both have skill, babe, i'm just the one who uses the more vulgar terms ❞

❝ I WAS ALREADY IN THERE, DOOGUS-- ❞