#fuckthebinary

Boys don’t cry, but girls do. What about the others? 

The pain isn’t physical, that’s just the side effects. Am I supposed to be content living in someone else’s body? I want to reach out for help, but I don’t in fear of becoming the next toxic friend we’re trying to cut off. I guess I’m fucked up.

  I know what they say behind closed doors. That I’m confused. A dyke. Being trendy. I’M NOT. There is no place in society for the others. No place in my home for me. Inquiry turns to yelling and tears. My spirit is broken, their egos inflated. 

Betrayed by the people I thought were on my side. Maybe I’m just bitter and jaded but I don’t trust them as much as I used to. Maybe it’s normal to feel these things. Or maybe I’m as unstable as she is. But I’ll keep it locked away so I don’t get cut off like she did. 

I’ll get over it. Because I’m supposed to. I’m a good kid that doesn’t cause a fuss for this nuclear family. Disappointment is a rough road to travel, though I walk down it often. 

Pink or blue. Vagina or penis. Male or Female. Everything is so either/or. Why not neither? Why not both? 

I get misgendered and lectured. In the morning it will be “fine”. I’ll play along.

 I feel alienated when I’m conscious. Some days are better than others, but those are few and far between. I want to dress how I want and not have a label smacked on me. I am an other and nothing else. Most people can’t look past the curves and poisonous estrogen though. 

Have you ever seen old pictures of someone who’s hair used to be long? but you’ve only seen it short so the pictures look all wrong. That’s how I feel when I look in a mirror.

It's just that I feel society wants me to be this one person, but in my mind I'm dying to be this other vertion . That's what I think when I look in a mirror.

I want to wear a tie with a dress and wear my hair short with lipstick, but some say my style should depend on vagina or dick. That's what I hate when I look in a mirror.

I hate being called a girl, becaus I don't feel feminine enough. I don't want to be a guy though, because I'm not that rough. That's confusing when I look in a mirror.

I do like my masculine height, my curves and my androgenous face. In fact, there's not a part of my body that I'd replace. That I embrace when I look in a mirror.

I know you have grown up with genders and you have learned that there are two, but please treat me like a person, not like a pink or blue. That's what I hope when I look in a mirror.

It is hard to remember new pronouns and get into new habits, but know that it warms my heart when you try call me what fits. That makes it better to look in a mirror.

Noun. The concept that to prove you have the biggest dick you must be the biggest dick.

Example: The toxic masculinity was rising in the room when they started talking about whose truck was better. By the end of the conversation, it was clear they weren’t comparing trucks anymore.

they | them | he | him

For a long time, I haven’t felt *trans enough* to wear a binder. I haven’t felt *trans enough* to use my pronouns and demand others do the same. Being afab + presumably femme does not invalidate my agender identity. I deserve to be happy, and I deserve to be me.

If you’re struggling to feel “trans enough”, know that you are - I promise you - and you deserve all your desires.