My boyfriend is playing Wobble Dogs, a horrendous, wonderful, abusive game, for the first time, so I thought I would document it here.
Within the first few minutes we got a new dog, and he named it “fresh” because the cation said fresh dog.
Just watched him torture the fictional dog named Fresh, then he named it Less-Fresh, and he named it Stale right before it died. He put it in a room where it was permanently stuck in torment, never being able to rest in his final moments, only being viciously thrown around by an army of punching bags that fight back. He was in constant motion until his inevitable demise. He memorized Fresh then less-fresh now stale and wrote on his grave stone “the first… not the greatest. The burnt pancake.”
He's now doing unethical breading techniques, that will only lead to a short painful life. He has has made one as long as possible, with an extremely small head. I believe that this dog will snap in half if played with to hard. I fear for it.
He, in the effort to get unique dogs, is forcing some to consume its own excrements. They have eaten so much poop.
I'm scared to admit I egged him on in the beginning. I regret my actions.
He has now created what I nicknamed the tower of pain.
The lower level is the hatchlings, the ones unable to breed. They live a beautiful and effortless life, an existence doomed from the first clap of the dog of loves paws.
Once they have pupated 3 times, they are ready to fornicate with the other ‘dogs’. These ones move to the living room. A room filled with plants and toys and lots of food. They live a good life in here, for they have one job, to eat. But they can only eat what they are assigned, so they can mutate in an acceptable, fashion with the correct bacteria.
However, once they have served their purpose, and can no longer bread, they move to the death room. The death room is split in half viva gruesome looking jack-o-lanterns. They have spiteful, evil faces staring into what he calls ‘the bad side’. The bad side is where dogs that has been displeasing in their lives go. A never ending world of miserable bouncing, being flung around by punching bags. They all meet Fresh then Less-Fresh now Stales fate.
The good side has a tv and a starfish. This is where the good dogs go. Within the 2 hours I beheld of him playing, only 66% of the dogs made it to the good place.
All of these rooms are stacked on top of each other, as the ‘dogs’ climb the tower of life.
This is what happened within 2 hours of playing, I am both terrified and curious to see what happened when he boots up Wobble Dogs again.
