#fuckbmi

My doctor then asks me how much I weigh.  It’s actually cool that he doesn’t automatically make his patients hop on the scale as an entry point into the appointment.  I tell him my current weight.  Then he’s like “Oh no! You gotta lose twenty pounds!”  I really love my doctor.  He’s helped me so much over the years.  But he lost a few cool points with that.  Because by now many of us know that BMI is pretty irrelevant and arbitrary.  Basically pseudoscience.  It tends to overestimate obesity in people of African descent and underestimate obesity in people of Asian descent. But I believe in “health at every size” so I’m not really trying to label someone based on how much they weight or what their body looks like.

I just didn’t get how one minute he was basically congratulating me on how well I have been doing in reclaiming my health through lifestyle and eating and then the next minute I have a “twenty pound problem”.  I feel really good in my skin. If I lost ten pounds, it would just be a little less of me to love.  And I would still be firmly in my range that I feel comfortable in.  But in the meantime, physically I’m great!  I teach two dance fitness classes a week and I am performing again!  The only time I feel sluggish or tired is if I forget to take my iron supplements for a couple of weeks or eat a meal that is a little too heavy.

I felt a little hurt after my appointment because I think health should always be the focus.  I’m currently revving up to start a new exercise regime.  Not to lose weight but to feel good and as an act of self-love. I also, per the doctor’s orders, have stopped eating grains.... I’m still in shock that I’m doing this. I thought it would be triggering for me because I am very against diets, fad or otherwise.  But I’m also really into keeping my blood glucose control in check. I’m not diabetic but I have a strong predisposition to it.  I have many family members who have diabetes and heart disease.  I don’t know about y’all, but I’m trying to do the best I can with what I’ve got: this body.  And my doctor let me know that staying away from grains (for ME!) might be a good idea.  So I’m trying it out and I have to say I actually feel a lot better.  The first few days were ROUGH but now I can feel my blood sugar staying steady throughout the day.  

Now don’t get any wild ideas, I’m not doing “paleo” or anything like that. No offense to anyone who prescribes to eating lifestyles like that.  I still am going to eat starches in the form of squash, sweet potato, etc...  But honestly I think I intuitively knew that eating grains was messing with my blood sugar but I come from southern american stock and the thought of not having grits, biscuits, cobblers, etc... made me so sad. And yes I know there are “grain-free” versions of a lot of these things nowadays but I rather just focus right now on getting more protein and eating in a way that makes me feel energized and grounded.  

I’m not gonna lie though. I’m lowkey a little embarrassed to say “I’m not eating grains”. It sounds kind of pretentious to me because I am only one generation removed from picking cotton and pulling corn for sharecropping.  No one had time to think about “food preferences”. If you were hungry, you ate what was available.  But in a real plot twist, what my family ate as sharecroppers, in terms of quality, no so much quantity, was fare superior than what I grew up eating from cans and boxes.  

I was out the other day and we were at a burger joint.  I actually leaned in to the cashier to quietly ask if it was okay to order a burger without a bun. I was self-conscious!  

As some of you may know, I am a huge proponent of “intuitive eating”. Intuitive eating doesn’t mean eat what you want all the time, without any regard for health or nutrition.  It means that you are following your bodies cues in regards to hunger and satiety.  It means you are realizing how you feel after eating certain foods and understanding why you are eating. We eat for many reasons besides hunger.

So while I’m still going to make desserts and biscuits for my family, I know for my own personal health right now I need to just focus on the foods that are going to energize me and help me live a long, healthy life.  Thanks for reading! xoxo

p.s. I was featured on the Instagram page @mybodydoes!