Many Souls fans see criticism of the community's rampant elitism, ableism, and general toxicity, and try to find ways to defend against these criticisms. It's an understandable impulse.
But, because the criticisms are just true, attempts to defend against them necessarily slip into dishonesty. A key example of this, that has bothered me for years, but that I've only just learned how to articulate, is the myth of a "loud minority."
This argument posits that the caustic parts of the fandom are not representative of the whole. They are a minority opinion, held by few but propagated widely by those few, highly dedicated believers. It's a myth that is, by no means, exclusive to the Souls fandom; it didn't originate there, and it appears frequently in any sort of discussion of a given fandom's issues, because it's a comfortable way to dismiss criticism without feeling like you are dismissing it. It's also, as I alluded to, difficult to break down in the moment. It takes thought to understand why it's wrong.
And that's why I'm here to help.
The most foundational problem with the argument is that it's metaphorical. By attributing the unavoidability of the toxic tendencies to a "loud minority," defenders reframe the conversation of a tangible issue (observable attitudes in posts, videos, etc.) into an allegorical scenario, where all of us are people in a physical space, each able to spread our opinions further simply by raising our own voice. In reality, though, we are on the internet. Screaming into a microphone will not grant your video any more reach than if you had whispered. The key difference here is that being loud is a choice you can make on your own, but in online fandom, reach is, by and large, a factor of agreeability. This post came to you either because you are following me—probably because you agree with my other, similar takes—or because someone you do follow agreed with me first. This isn't unique to Tumblr; YouTube videos gain more reach the more views, likes, retention, and comments they have. Reddit comments, by default, are transparently sorted to make the most widely-agreed-on opinions most readily accessible. Social media, where online fandom thrives, is a fundamentally consensus-dependent medium.
So, is it a "loud minority" who pushes to the top the comments that deny all design issues in Elden Ring, Dark Souls, Sekiro, etc., and blame and degrade players who point those issues out?
If those opinions weren't at least tacitly accepted by the majority in the community, they wouldn't get the upvotes, views, reblogs, or what-have-you to be elevated above dissenting thoughts. If the majority agreed with the comments that say "Yeah, this is a problem, and the developers could have done better," then we wouldn't need to scroll down into the negative points zone on every Reddit post to find them.
The average Souls community member doesn't disagree with the "loud minority" on what they're actually saying, only that they choose to say it. Most people are not proud to be that obstinate at strangers; they find it embarrassing. The defining trait of the "loud minority" is not belief, but boldness. They are, in essence, the ones who say the quiet part out loud. And we see in the Souls community, as well as many others: the longer we let them do this without pushback, the more members of the majority will realize that they don't need to fear being loud.
So stop acting like the problems in your fandom are all the fault of a few "loud" ones. For every "loud" person you see, there are a hundred other people silently sharing what they said.