#freman

Paul Atreides. The skinny, dark haired, and pale skinned boy you had fallen for. The boy who didn't care about being Lisan al Ghaib, but who rather hated it. The boy who would immediately shut down his mother's talks of her Bene Gesserit lore and prophecy, who would instead find solace and comfort in your arms.

This was not him. This was some blue eyed doppelgänger wearing his skin, you were sure of it. The sudden shift in his attitude and overall demeanor after having consumed the "Water of Life" sent a chill down your spine. Obviously, you weren't the only one that noticed. But you were the only one who was concerned about it.

Paul was becoming...distant. Especially from you. With his duties as the new emperor, it was understandable. Even more so, since he'd asked for Irulan's hand in marriage. The fact that he'd professed his love for you and then asked for such a thing in almost the same breath broke your heart and crushed your soul. You'd often see Paul accompanying the princess to meetings and such. Obviously he didn't love her, he never had 'that' look in his eyes when he looked at her.

'That' look being the one he'd have in his eyes as he'd sneak glances at you as you'd pass each other in the hallways of the grand palace or when you'd attend meetings as well to give some Freman insight. Saying that Paul hated this was an understatement. But he had to keep up appearances, attending meetings and staying one step ahead of his enemies.

That was another problem, his enemies. He always had to keep up with his image of being a stern and almost cutthroat leader, which meant showing no weakness, ever. Unfortunately, this also meant distancing himself from people he truly cared about: his mother, his unborn baby sister, and worst of all...you. After all, the only reason you were let into palace was by Paul's orders. He'd have to force himself not to love you, or at least act like it. Your greetings were met with a nod or a silent mumble, or, like most times, nothing at all.

It was late at night, the sound of your ticking clock keeping you awake. No, it was actually your never ending thoughts of none other than Paul. You wanted nothing more that to rush out of your room to his, knock on his door, and give him the biggest hug you could give, to run your fingers through his dark brown locks again, to tell him that everything would be okay. you stood up, deciding to take a walk through the palace to clear your mind. As you opened the door, you were met by Paul, mid-knock. His hair was a little messy and it seemed like he'd just retired from his study.

You didn't say anything, instead stepping aside to let him come in and closing the door behind him. There was a moment of silence that felt it had lasted a little too long before Paul spoke up. "How have you been? You seem to be looking well." Paul commented, standing in the middle of your room as you sat on your bed.

"Yes, I've been fine. And what of you?" He wasn't even looking at you. Yes, he was facing you and to anyone else, it looked as though he was staring straight at you.

But his mind was obviously elsewhere...he wasn't paying attention to you.

"Paul," you said, raising your voice a bit and reaching out to hold his hand. You could see him being pulled out of his state of distraction, your hand squeezing his.

"Talk to me. This is the first time we've been alone together in weeks. Please..." Paul could see the pleading in your eyes, a soft sigh leaving him as he sat down next to you.

"Don't worry about it," he brushed you off, pulling his hand out from your grip.

"I simply came to see how you're doing." An obvious lie.

"Paul, something's bothering you. You can tell me," you began.

"Y/n, I'm fine,"

"But you're not. I can tell it's eating you up inside: the visions, your enemies."

"Y/n-" He was staring to get irritated, not at you, but at the fact that you were right. It was eating him up, slowly consuming him and making him lose himself more and more each day.

"It's why you've been avoiding me, right? You're scared they'll take advantage of your affection towards me-" Paul stayed silent, his fingers curling up into fists as he looked at the floor.

You grabbed his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. "These visions don't define you, Paul! This prophecy doesn't define you! You can't just run away from us and face this on your own!"

That was easy for you to say.

You didn't have throngs of people either depending on you or praying for your untimely death. You didn't have the weight of the entire universe on your shoulders. "You don't understand-"

"I'll try to-!"

"YOU CAN'T!" Paul yelled, pushing your hands away from his face. You flinched, your eyes going wide as he stood up and ran his hands through his hair.

"You can't possibly understand the horrific things I've seen each time I so much as close my eyes. Do you know what I see? People dying from starvation. Holy wars being waged in my very name. The people I care about with every bone in my living body being slaughtered in front of me! And you," he turned to you pointing an accusing finger at you as if it were a blade.

"You sit here and act like you understand me?"

You didn't expect for Paul's words to hurt so much. He'd never raised his voice at you, and he'd certainly never yelled at you. You felt like a knife was being twisted into your heart as the boy you loved turned into someone you didn't even recognize.

"I'm just trying to comfort you-"

"Well stop! Because...because I love and care about you so much, it physically hurts me. I'd be a lost soul if something ever happened to you," You looked at your hands, feeling a whirlwind of emotions as you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes. But you refused to cry.

"You should go. I'm sure Irulan's looking for you."

"You know we sleep in separate rooms-"

"Still...you don't need unsavory rumors on top of all you have to deal with..." You turned away from Paul, using the back of your hand to dab away the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. You felt the bed dip, but didn't turn to look at him

"Y/n, look at me..."

You didn't answer, sniffling softly and moving to get up, ready to try your hand at kicking him out once again. A soft yell left your lips as Paul's slim fingers wrapped around your wrist and pulled you right back next to him, his face so undoubtedly close to yours. You could smell the pent up emotion on him, a word of protest ready on your tongue.

Before you even knew what was happening, Paul's lips were on yours. You let your eyes flutter shut, yelping softly into the kiss as he pulled flush against him, leaving absolutely no space between your bodies.

Another observation you'd made was that ever since Paul drank the "Water of Life", he'd been extra aggressive in most everything: he'd give people harsher punishments, he'd execute orders with upmost precision, and when he loved...he'd love harder. His heart was practically bursting at the seams as all the love he'd been forced to shove down spilled out of him in the form of a bruising kiss.

You felt dizzy as paul pulled away from you, your cheeks flushed and your breathing a bit labored. The two of you just stared at each for a while, your fingers still twirling strands of his dark hair.

"Still want me to leave?" he asked, lightly brushing his lips against yours, his action making your eyes flutter shut. You felt your heart squeeze as you opened your eyes once again, gazing at him through watery eyes.

"Paul-"

"I know...I know." Paul's hands came up and cupped your face once more, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks and wiping away your tears.

"Me too...I'm sorry too..." he whispered before leaning back in to meet your lips again.

A shaky breath left your lips as you melted into the kiss once again, your hands clutching the front of his shirt as if he'd slip right through your fingers. Paul's fingers playfully danced beneath the fabric of the shirt of your sleepwear, slowly tracing the skin of sides, as if trying to relearn their curvatures. Your hand snaked up to tangle into his hair, a few tears flowing down your cheeks. Not because you didn't want this; in fact, you wanted this so much it almost hurt. Your breath hitched as you felt Paul deepen the kiss, his body pressing against yours.

As you pulled away, breathing a bit heavier and cheeks flushed, you swallowed and met Paul's eyes. the look in them was an untamed mix of love and something more.

"...We should stop..." you murmured, your hands moving down to cup his face. You felt him relax into your touch, your heart warming.

"You're right...but I don't want to-" Just as he was about to lean back in for another kiss, a rhythmic knock on your door stopped him.

"Ignore it." he muttered , a flash of irritation on his face.

"But-" Paul cut you off with another kiss, pushing you back into the mattress.

His lips started to move with newfound fervor, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses over the skin of your jaw and down to the dip of your neck. Feeling Paul's hands start to roam under your shirt caused a soft sound between a gasp and a moan to leave your lips.

"Paul..." you muttered, letting your eyes flutter shut.

Another knock made him hiss in annoyance.

"Y/n, are you awake?" Princess Irulan's voice asked from behind the grand door.

You and Paul looked at each other, his eyes giving you a serious look. He got up and reluctantly hid in the little space between your bed and the wall.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late at night." the princess said, a gentle expression on her face.

"Oh, no, not at all, princess. What did you need?"

"Just Irulan is fine. I was wondering if you'd seen Paul. He wasn't in his study." You felt your stomach churn as the princess said his name. You shook your head, muttering a quick apology.

"No, I haven't seen him today. Maybe he went outside to get some fresh air." you lied.

She gave your room a quick scan from where she stood and you knew she knew. She knew and decided to stay silent.

"Very well, have a good night."

"You as well."

Once the door closed, you were met with Paul's bright blue eyes as he stood behind you, a soft but startled yell leaving you. You hadn't even heard him get up. He reached out and held your hand, gently squeezing it and kissing the back of it, letting his lips linger for a moment. Paul then looked back up at you, leaning in and brushing his lips to yours one last time.

"I'll see you soon..." he whispered against your lips, a soft hum of a response leaving you. You squeezed his hand, feeling your heart skip a beat.

"Yeah...see you soon..." He pulled away from you, making his way to the door and opened it a crack, glancing for anyone else that might be awake.

Just as he was about to take his leave, you grabbed his hand, leaning back in to give him on final kiss.

"Good night." you murmured, your grip absentmindedly tightening.

You didn't want to let him go, not now, not ever. Not after knowing this would be the last night the two of you would share like this before Paul went back to wearing that dreaded mask of indifference.

"Good night."

You felt his hand slip from your as he took his leave, turning to meet your ocean blue eyes once last time. Now you knew, he still loved you, even if he wouldn't show it.🌙