I need your help! It is my heart's desire to help foster kids and foster parents alike. The system is broken and we know that. I need to kno
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I need your help! It is my heart's desire to help foster kids and foster parents alike. The system is broken and we know that. I need to kno

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On parenting with 'extra' kids.
In my first ever blog "Let me introduce myself" I mentioned how we have kinship foster kids, which is basically family members that are in the foster care system and have been placed with Matthew and I. They are a nephew, Brady - 17, and a niece, Kat - 9. I also mentioned that we want to adopt Kat. But days like today make me question that, because when they lived with their parents all of the kids fought, like physically. A lot. Apparently sometimes cops got called. Once we had to call the police because Brady and Brice were fighting here at our house. (Long story.)
And now Kat has taught some of that to my little boy. My almost-3 year old is almost always in trouble for hitting, kicking, throwing things, etc.
And I know that this is a little bit things that his age group does. You know, things like "someone stole the toy from me so I hit." Or, "you were sitting with mommy but I wanted to so I hit."
But that's not what's happening here. Not most of the time anyway. Eli will walk up to Kat and just... hit. Or poke her in the eye. He does not do this to anyone else but Kat. She will literally just be sitting there. Or playing by herself. Not even looking at Eli. It's extra frustrating because Eli is NOT violent kid. He is soo sweet and loving. All he wants is to cuddle and love on people, me, Koehn, everyone! Even Kat. But then he'll just... hit her.
Here's another thing, Kat will just SIT THERE. She will see it coming, and LET IT. He's 2, a few weeks from 3. SHE'S ALMOST 10. She can block it! Instead she let's it happen, then hollers "OW!" literally so loud. It's all very dramatic. I'm thinking of putting her in a drama class.
Now here's the thing. I know that Kat started it. Kat hit, kicked, or whatever else to Eli and now he's doing that to her. She's admitted it. But what do I do about it?! I mean, she never hurts Eli in the view of an adult.
Just today we were at my mother-in-law's, and Eli was playing in the living room with a plastic bucket, swinging in circles and such like boys tend to do. Kat was laying in the middle of the floor, saw him playing, and decided not to move. So when Eli inevitably got close to her, Kat ended up with a bloody nose. According to my MIL, Eli slowed down but seemed to decide to hit her anyway. So Kat started crying, Matthew came to hug her so she cried harder, and when she saw the drop of blood come off her nose she started screaming.
So I took Eli to another room and asked him was it on purpose or an accident? He said on purpose. I asked why and Eli eventually was able to tell me that Kat pushed him into the cabinet of the laundry room at my in-laws. So I guess he remembered that and decided to get back at her. Or maybe he thinks that's how the two of them are supposed to play together? I really am not sure.
Now after all the bleeding, Matthew ended up having a conversation with Brady. Brady said that Kat has always been this way, very "anything for attention." Even starting things behind the scenes in order to get the attention in the end.
I'm ashamed to say that it took me way to long in the beginning when Eli started the hitting to ask Eli if Kat had ever hit him. I kept having that "mom feeling" that something was not right. Honestly I am still having that feeling sometimes. Now though I try to ask fairly often, especially on days where Eli seems to be particularly violent "did Kat hurt you?" And always Eli says yes and tells how. The story has never been the same 2 days in a row. Today was being pushed into the cabinet, and tonight he said she poked him in the eye when he was sitting in a chair here at our house. I have a tendency to believe him, especially because he doesnt know about lying yet.
Now, I'm not unsympathetic to the situation. I know she was not raised right. But she has lived in my house for 7 months. And while I know that 7 months cannot undo 9 years of life and learning, Matthew and I have had MULTIPLE conversations with her about hitting. One time she was even grounded for hitting a cousin (it was witnessed by Matthew, so at least I know I'm not crazy thinking shes hitting Eli.) So I know that she knows violence is wrong and not tolerated in this house.
I just dont know what to do. I mean, she's family, and a little girl, and it's not totally her fault, because she was raised this way, even though she does know at this point that we don't allow hitting here. But also, shes hurting my baby, my sweet Eli. How do I know that she won't also try to hurt Koehn, who is totally defenseless? How do I get her to stop this violent circle with Eli? What if the violence (and the getting in trouble for it) is hurting Eli/changing his personality?
I'm so confused. What does God want me to do? When the call came that Child Protective Services was taking these kids from their parents and they (CPS) wanted us to take custody, Eli was 2 years old, and I was 4 months pregnant with Koehn. God has given me 2 perfect boys to have, to raise and teach His ways. These are my babies, given to me to protect, love, and cherish for all of my days. And then it seemed that God was calling us to be foster parents sooner than we had planned. Being foster and adoptive parents was always in our plan. Well, you know what they say, the plans of the Lord may not match up with the plans we lay. So I thought that these kids were also given to me to love, protect, and cherish. So much has happened that I am confused about God's plan for my family. And I know that God does not always make His plans clear. But my son is hurting, and I am hurting for him. So now the questions are, what do I do? How do I protect ALL of my kids? What is God's plan?
All I know is that God will prevail, so I know that in the end His plan will succeed. I just want the hitting to stop...
Preparing for a baby?
I don't think any of my family or friends follow me, but if you do please don't say anything on any other social media.
We are preparing for a baby. My cousin had his baby (#5) and they've all been taken away previous to this one, at discharge this baby was taken. We are prepared to take him in through kinship care. We have contacted all the right people and if everything goes in favor of the baby, we should be bringing him home next week or so. The state may attempt reunification, but we're confident that the circumstances my cousin is in, they won't be able to care for the child as they should. And it would be in the baby's best interest to come home with us.
All of that said, it has been so fun preparing for this baby. We went on a shopping trip and spent about $300 on baby things. Everything is washed and ready to use, car seat bases are in both of our cars and car seat is ready, diaper bag is packed, and we bought a swing last night. We already have a crib and bassinet. And we have been working on the room to get it ready. It's been our office so it's got a lot of junk in it we need to get out and then we also need to paint because currently the walls are brown and green with a giant tree painted on it with pink flowers all over, something the previous owner painted on there.
Anyway this has been a long update, and I will update again when more unfolds.
We're starting Foster to Adopt..
We are meeting with our case worker tomorrow to start the process and we start classes in July. I'm nervous and excited! Not quitting TTC but taking a break from tracking and meds at this point. Ready for a new journey!
We planted onions in April. Apparently nobody told them that was wrong. He spotted them in the shop, we stuck them in the ground, and this morning there were actual sprouts. The joy on that kid's face. Worth every raised eyebrow from anyone who knows.

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The Unbroken Home: The Biblical Importance for Our Children
As parents, guardians, or foster care parents, we all desire a happy and healthy home environment for our children. However, what makes a home truly unbroken? According to the Bible, an unbroken home is a place where God’s message of love and forgiveness is central. The Gospel holds an ideal life and an example of an unbroken home before us. In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of an unbroken home according to the Bible about our children, and how it can enable us to raise our children in a way that glorifies God.
1. Unbroken Homes: What They Mean from a Biblical Perspective When we talk about the importance of an unbroken home, our understanding of it needs to come from a biblical perspective. According to the Bible, an unbroken home is a home where the faith of the parents is genuine and vibrant. It is a home where the Word of God is taught, and the worship of God is central. Such homes are characterized by authentic love, respect, and understanding between spouses and their children. Biblical unbroken homes are not free from trials, disagreements or conflicts, but they are rooted in the love and grace of God, which works powerfully in the lives of each member.
2. The Impact of an Unbroken Home on Children’s Lives The home environment is the key to raising children who are happy, healthy, and successful in their future lives. An unbroken home can have a profound effect on children. It provides them with a sense of identity and security, enabling them to form healthy attachments to their parents or guardians. It can build their confidence, deepen their faith, and enable them to develop a positive outlook on life. It can provide them with an understanding of the importance of forgiveness, grace, and love, which enables them to form emotionally and spiritually healthy relationships with others.
3. Godly Parenting: The Foundation of an Unbroken Home The foundation of any unbroken home is godly parenting. The Bible instructs us to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. This involves teaching our children the truth of God’s word, modeling Christ-like character traits, and providing a loving, stable environment. Godly parenting requires setting healthy boundaries, listening attentively, and being present in the lives of our children. It requires being a servant-leader, providing guidance, and being willing to discipline when necessary.
4. The Importance of Forgiveness and Grace in an Unbroken Home Forgiveness and grace are essential ingredients in any unbroken home. The Bible reminds us of the importance of forgiveness and grace in all our relationships, including our marriages, parenting, and friendships. An unforgiving, graceless attitude can destine a home in chaos. Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is necessary. It involves repentance, confession, and the willingness to rebuild what has been broken. Grace allows mercy and forgiveness to flow and enables peace and unity in the home.
5. Leaving a Legacy: The Fruit of an Unbroken Home An unbroken home not only benefits our children today, but it also leaves a legacy of faithfulness, love, and grace for the generations that follow. Our homes can become a powerful expression of Christ’s love for the world. As we model Christ’s character and pass-on our faith to our children, we can impact not only our families but also the broader community of faith that surrounds us. Building an unbroken home in which Christ is the center is the most valuable inheritance we can pass on to our children and the world.
The importance of an unbroken home according to the Bible about our children cannot be overstated. It is crucial that we strive to live in homes where the love of God is central, and His message of forgiveness, grace, and redemption is practiced. Our homes can provide a safe, nurturing, and loving environment for our children to learn, grow and become all that God intends them to be. Moreover, such an environment can impact our communities and the broader world, leaving a lasting legacy of love and grace that can change our world. Let us, therefore, make it our priority to build and maintain unbroken homes that honor God, bless our children, and impact our world.
Did You Know?
I am passionate about helping children break free from complex trauma that they have had in their lives and helping parents, guardians, and foster care parents help their children. Did you know that according to the Department of Health and Human Services that 90% of children have some sort of trauma? Did you know that if complex trauma is not treated early on that later in life they can develop addictions, cancer, diabetes, and heart disease? Did you know that complex trauma if not treated early on can develop into other mental illnesses as they progress in age? Trauma has many faces, it does not mean that physical or emotional abuse. It can be a divorce, it can natural disaster or a death in the family. We all have gone through some type of trauma but it is the complex trauma that wounds a child's soul and causes legal rights of the enemy to invade and torment the mind of a child. We see physical, emotional, and behavioral issues because these children don't know how to process what they have seen or gone through. I've listened to so many foster parents podcasts that give a good message but have NO power behind their teaching and it's the same message over and over. We are being taught that the only way to help our children is to have countless visits to a therapist, learn coping skills, or try this medicine or that medicine that only strips the child of their true personality. I volunteer as a Guardian Ad Litem and that is someone that is like a lawyer for a child in the courts. I work along with the department of social services for six months to a year for one case, and make the best possible choice for the child's placement and then I present my findings in a report to the judge. Throughout the countless cases that have run across my desk and the countless home visits with the children, all of them were attending therapy several times a week and on high doses of medication that left them lifeless or even worse, behavior that is worse than it was prior to the meds. Don't hear what I am not saying. Don't go and stop your child's therapy session or take them off their meds. That is not what I am telling you to do and this is why I do what I do. I am here to help walk you and your child through deliverance from these traumas and then your child's doctor can make that proper judgment. I am saying that there is a better option through Jesus Christ and the finished work on the cross to come to complete deliverance of trauma.
Sometimes. In the evening. I see my stairs. And I think if the time I thought I was gonna die because the Tiny thought it would be a great idea to JUMP for stairs away from me. Thank you Jesus I caught her without dislocating or breaking something. 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️😂🤣 and other times. I miss the little voices calling down from the stairs. 🥺 “Tooommmmm. Aaanniikkaaa.” “Yeeess?” “I don’t want to go to sleep” We look at eachother like what does she think we’re going to do? Me: “Oh. Well. That’s ok if you don’t want to but you still have to” Silence for a minute. “Oh. Ok” *goes back to sleep* I miss them a lot this time of year. It’s around the time we first had them land here. Tiny and Little. Scared and frightened and no sleep. They left as thriving little girls and I pray Jesus keeps them safe. 💜 • • • • • • #fosterparenting #tinylittleadventures https://www.instagram.com/p/CnD9nQVL68H/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=